I'm an RE teacher of senior school children. And have been for a decade. I get them to make stained glass windows, we do drama, dance, music, go on trips and produce some really creative writing. But when faced with trying to get my three year old to do her preschool homework (?) on the topic of 'monkey'. I crumbled.
See it's all new to me. I'm not used to being on the recieving end of a child's education. I'm used to being the one in control. Setting the homework. And expecting marvellous things to come back from home. I'm new at this Mum of an actual child who needs to learn things, not a baby malarkey.
My husband gave me the homework and said here you go she's got to do a monkey. Ok. I said. What kind of monkey? Be creative they said. Eh? Be creative?????? On what spectrum. Do they mean painting a monkey? Do they mean sewing a monkey outfit? Do they mean living like a monkey for six months in the jungle and them doing a PowerPoint presentation on it? Bleurgh.
We opted for cutting and sticking. It went horribly. I brought child proof scissors that she somehow managed to use to hack into my hand. I couldn't find a picture of a monkey in my whole actual house (wtf?) So we had to base it on Dora's mate. There was a small panic when I couldn't find a rubber. It was one of the most stressful hours of my life.
Here is the finished product. I am aware it looks crap. I am aware Erin has the colouring in ability of well, a three year old. I am aware I have the drawing ability of well, a three year old.
So I have learnt two valuable lessons 1) when my daughter is set homework in future I am going to ask for more specific instructions and 2) when I ask my Year 7 pupils to spend a half term making a place of worship at home and some bring in a cornflake box with a crucifix scrawled on it, and I snigger. I shouldn't. As that clearly will be what Erin will be turning up with. Hers may even be worse!