I just was crap at sports. Any kind of sports. Please also don't think this story ends up with me scoring the winning goal in a regional hockey match. It won't. I'm still crap at sports. When you're a child though this seems terribly important. At junior school boys 'fancied' girls that could run or kick a ball. Girls who could catch someone in British Bulldog. That's not me.
At secondary school when a teacher suggested as a treat to go on the field and play rounders as it was 'warm'. I internally sighed. Why can't we just sunbathe? In my early twenties I thought dance could be my 'thing'. That I could be a woman who elegantly moves across a bar and say to potential boyfriends. "Sorry I'm not free that night, I like you know, dance?".
After a failed attempt at tap (shuffle ball what?) I went to wait for it. Street dance. That's how down with da kids I was. We had to do a body roll. I would call it a bogle. I bogled. And collapsed and had to be carried out on a stretcher. Seriously. Never have I ever been so mortified in my life. Explaining in the ambulance what had happened. Awful.
I have actually cried about being rubbish at sports. I wanted to want to go skiing. I wanted to want to go gorge walking on a work trip rather than sobbing at the side of the gorge. But recently I have had a change of heart. I don't actually care anymore. Who cares that I'm crap at netball? Who cares that I can't hit a tennis ball. Not I! Maybe it's being a mother I don't know.
So here is a list of things I am good at. These are just a few the things I can do:
- I know all the words to Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby
- Being a Mom
- Being a teacher
- I have a Masters in Education don't you know
- And finally I can source a good bloody bargain (the magic I can do with Tesco club cards and Boots advantage points).
Boys who didn't fancy me when I couldn't run, you're jealous now. You know you wish you were married to a Vanilla Ice loving, bargain hunting, M(Ed)!