Tuesday, 4 March 2014

How bogling nearly killed me.

At school I was the girl no one wanted on their sports team.  Please don't think I was terribly bullied, or didn't enjoy school.  I did. If school was Friends I was Chandler. The funny one. But a girl. There was only girls. As it was a single sex grammar school.

I just was crap at sports. Any kind of sports. Please also don't think this story ends up with me scoring the winning goal in a regional hockey match. It won't. I'm still crap at sports. When you're a child though this seems terribly important. At junior school boys 'fancied' girls that could run or kick a ball. Girls who could catch someone in British Bulldog. That's not me.

At secondary school when a teacher suggested as a treat to go on the field and play rounders as it was 'warm'. I internally sighed. Why can't we just sunbathe? In my early twenties I thought dance could be my 'thing'. That I could be a woman who elegantly moves across a bar and say to potential boyfriends. "Sorry I'm not free that night, I like you know, dance?". 

After a failed attempt at tap (shuffle ball what?) I went to wait for it. Street dance. That's how down with da kids I was. We had to do a body roll. I would call it a bogle. I bogled. And collapsed and had to be carried out on a stretcher. Seriously. Never have I ever been so mortified in my life. Explaining in the ambulance what had happened.  Awful. 


I have actually cried about being rubbish at sports. I wanted to want to go skiing. I wanted to want to go gorge walking on a work trip rather than sobbing at the side of the gorge. But recently I have had a change of heart. I don't actually care anymore. Who cares that I'm crap at netball? Who cares that I can't hit a tennis ball. Not I! Maybe it's being a mother I don't know. 

So here is a list of things I am good at. These are just a few the things I can do:

  • I know all the words to Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby
  • Being a Mom
  • Being a teacher
  • I have a Masters in Education don't you know
  • And finally I can source a good bloody bargain (the magic I can do with Tesco club cards and Boots advantage points). 
Boys who didn't fancy me when I couldn't run, you're jealous now. You know you wish you were married to a Vanilla Ice loving, bargain hunting, M(Ed)! 

16 comments:

  1. Those are impressive things. Much better than bogling and tapping! :)

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  2. Ha ha - bogling! never tired it, so maybe I'd collapse, too?! I went to an all girls school and was terrible at sports, too - hated PE. And well done on the Vanilla Ice lyrics ;-) #AllAboutYou

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    1. I think sport is even more competitive at a girls school. They bloomin love hockey and netball! xxx

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  3. Love this! I was never sporty at school, at all, although I did discover a love of running at age 31! Yes, it surprised me too :) Great list of things you can do, excellent :) #AllAboutYou

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    1. Oh maybe one day I shall run? I doubt it but it would be nice! xxx

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  4. I thought we'd entered the world of Spaced for a minute there! I was crap at sports at school too (my claim to fame being that I once did a textbook Fosberry Flop completely by accident). I also wrote a post recently which touched on being true to yourself and just letting go of those things that you always thought you wanted to be good at (but never will be!).

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    1. Oh shall go and read that later! Sounds goods. I've just given up. I still used to get upset at work as I wasn't asked to be on staff basketball teams. But I am just useless at it! So there would be no point. I prefer staff cocktails xxx

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  5. This is me! I was crap at sports and PE, and disliked it all and would far rather sunbathe with a good book. I still am crap at all sports, and body rolling - how can it be so ridiculously difficult?!? And why is it all so important?!? Fortunately Hubs is not massively into sports, so we curl up on the sofa and read together. Bliss.
    #AllAboutYou

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    1. Ironically when I am proper drunk I can do a great body roll! Maybe I should just drink before any sports? xxx

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  6. Brilliant post! Well the grass is always greener on the other side ... most people if asked, would I'm sure love to to be funny, to be able to tell a great story. You capture an audience with both humour and vulnerability and that's a great gift! Plus, it's better than bogling! #AllAboutYou

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    1. Ahhh what lovely things to say! Funny is good. I can do funny till I die. Bogling probably won't be able to be achieved when I'm 100! xxx

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  7. Ice ice baby... keep street chick! #AllAboutYou

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  8. This had me chuckling all the way through, recognising myself. I'd much rather be sunbathing than trying to avoid being hit by a ball - although thankfully I discovered gymnastics! Most of all though, I love that you ended by focussing on the stuff you CAN do - you go girl! Thanks for another great #AllAboutYou post

    Mama-andmore.com

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    1. Ohhhh I'd love to be good at gymnastics!!! That would be ace! xxx

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