Sunday, 2 March 2014

Playdate anyone? ANYONE???!

Since having two children there is nothing that brings joy to my ears more than the words 'play' and 'date'. They fall into different categories. But the main benefit of each and everyone is I get to ignore my beautiful, but highly energetic (gah!), kiddos for a few hours in a safe and fun environment. Potentially whilst eating cake, moaning about my husband and drinking a HOT cup of tea (the dream!).

At Your House Playdate
A truly horrific experience and one to be avoided AT ALL COSTS. The least favourite of all playdates. You are expected to provide food and entertainment. This is because, worse case scenario, the children don't actually play (defeating the whole bloody object grrrr). Also there is no way round it, any more than one child and your house will be wrecked. Raisins will be shoved in holes you never knew existed. And someone will piss on your couch.

Get them started young. 
Soft Play Playdate
More preferable. Especially on a school day where it is a bit empty and it is indeed possible to safely ignore your child without some nutter kid smacking them in the face. Only issues is the horror of said child being stuck up on a high weird slide and then they expect you to get them and quite frankly you're terrified. Also those places just stink to high heaven of feet and sh*t. Never forget the urban legend of the day someone was sick in the ball pool. Shudder.

Sure you can play in rancid germ ridden balls. 

At Someone Else's House Playdate
DING DING DING! Jackpot! And double jackpot if it is the summer, and we can go outside and they are providing lunch! Hallelujah! Yipppeeee! The actual dream. Go forth children and play freely and happily. Make as much mess as you want. You spilt your pop? Never fear. It's not my house! You weed on the couch? No worries. It's not ours to sit on! And eat as much of the lunch as possible to tide you over to tea time! Ram those sandwiches down your gobs and yes thank you I will take a few cakes home for tea.

Run around children. Run free!

I am not fearful my lovely, lovely friends who I playdate with will be offended by my words. There is an unspoken rule. We all do it. We all relish the chance to tactically ignore the children whilst having a drink, a gossip, spelling out swear words and chomping on biscuits. 

We take it in turns to have our couches pissed on. Or climb up a terrifying firemans pole to grab a sobbing child. And we are all used to finding raisins shoved in DVD players. It's fine. It's all about solidarity. Without the joy of 'the playdate'. We would go mental otherwise. Fact.

12 comments:

  1. I remember the first time I heard the term 'playdate' - I had no idea what to expect, it sounded odd! But now we know what really goes on ;) Not had so many recently since we moved, but I'm sure when we settle in we'll start to get to know more locals and have more 'playdates'!

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    1. Oh defo. Look out for mother's who look a little tired and fretfull. Invite yourself round! I always take a pack of biccys with me. Then you look super nice and they don't mind the mess! x

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  2. So true! :-) It's the poker face that I need to work on, when the playing is happening at our house snd the toy kitchen is being dragged over the wooden floor AGAIN. Maintaining a conversation whilst internally cringeing - now that takes skill! E x

    www.lifeatthelittlewood.co.uk

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    1. Oh that is horrific. Or you can see in the corner of your eye them destroying some toys. And you have to laugh it off when really you want to snatch them out of the children's hands xxx

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  3. Haha - great minds think alike. I am getting good at ignoring my children. I especially like playdates too. xx

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    1. Tactical ignoring is a good life skill! We need to remember this whilst we sup tea and chat about the Kardashians with our friends xxx

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  4. I too am a huge fan of the playdate - especially if it means I get to drink a whole cup of coffee before it goes cold! ;-)

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    1. The dream of a warm drink! I get one a day whilst the baby naps. Sometimes I think of squeezing all of my cups of tea in that slot to make up for lost time! xxx

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  5. Oh I love this! I always try and steer them away from our house so that I don't have to tidy up too!

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  6. Brilliant! Massive massive fan of descending on friends houses for cake/wrecking opportunities. Even better if there is gin too :)

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  7. You need to get yourself a work at home husband! Its BRILLIANT! "Sorry girls, Hubby can't concentrate with a house full of kids - can we do your house again? I'll bring the cakes" ;)

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  8. LOVE playdates. we love a soft play place where it is only 50p to play and it's usually really quiet so we can have a natter for ages while the kids enjoy themselves, and they love it! Chaos often ensues round someones house though as there's quite a few of us, my house is usually a tip afterwards! :) xx

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