Saturday, 8 March 2014

Repetitive Mum Syndrome

They say a sign of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. And welcome to the main symptom of 'Repetitive Mum Syndrome' (also knows as 'Dear god I'm turning into my motheritis').

Let me diagnose you. Do you do any of the following but expect that once they are said that the outcome will be different to the other one thousand times you have said it?  If so, I am afraid you have caught 'Repetitive Mom Syndrome':

To siblings: Say "be nice". They won't. They will try to kill each other on a regular basis. They will never be nice. And if they are? It will last for ten minutes max. Till you have to say it again. And again. And again. 

To young children with pets: Say "be gentle". Again they won't. Oh sure they will when you are looking but as soon as you turn your head the cats tail will be pulled or the guinea pig will be smashed in the face with a tiny fist. 

I'm smiling as I plan on killing the dog. And in no way shape or form "be gentle". 

To children in general (especially on play dates): Say "play nicely". This is touch and go and such is the tricksome world of small children. Sometimes they will. Sometimes they will fight for a full hour over the grubbiest mankiest toy know to man. 


To toddlers: Say "put your coat on quickly". Never ever EVER going to happen. Your house could be alight, Mr Tumble could be in your drive, a brand new 3D Peppa film is opening at the cinema. Nothing is going to make your toddler put their coat on quickly. Bar your forcing them into it. Whilst the child screams. **please note unless you don't want them to wear a coat. This will be done quickly**

And finally:...The dreaded word. The most horrible of concepts. "Share!" you could say this till you are blue in the face. You could tattoo it on your face. Sharing is not going to happen. Ever. Embrace it. And just buy two of every toy your child owns. 

Unfortunately there is no cure for 'Repetitive Mum Syndrome'. I'm afraid there is only one way to get over it. Denial and blind hope that things will change. They will one day. By which point you will be so beaten down you won't care any more. 

9 comments:

  1. I often try the reverse psychology thing - don't you dare do xyz, it only works about 10% of the time but you gotta takes the wins where you can.
    Fab post lovely :) x

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    1. I've done that before and then its gone so wrong. Eg well fine I'll leave you here. Then they don't move. Then you're screwed! xxx

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  2. A funny look at the reality of parenting!

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  3. Very funny, it's toruturous hearing yourself say the same thing on loop isn't it? For us it's 'careful' a million times a day. I'm saying it in my sleep...

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    1. Oh god be careful defo is one!!! That's one of the worst! xxx

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  4. So very very true! Thankfully the repetitive Mum sayings do work eventually if you don't give in!! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

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  5. Oh this is so true! Hello, my name is Morgan and I have Repetitive Mom Injury. There should be some sort of support group! :) #PoCoLo

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  6. What I love are the things you find yourself repeating that you never thought you'd hear yourself say even once, like "Please don't lick the wall." For some reason every place we went had a tasty looking one.

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