Tuesday, 1 April 2014

"Mmmmmm I'm not sure?"

I have always been a very decisive person. I live in a house which was the first house I viewed with my hub. Brought the first wedding dress I tried on and so on. Always known what I wanted and boom. I get it.

Now? Mmmmmm I'm not so sure. Being thrown into the world of being a parent has made me a bit crackers I think. Nothing can prepare you for the sleepless nights or time and energy that goes into being a mother. But what has screwed me over is the brain power it has taken. 

I think through every decision I make as if this could be 'the one' that ruins my kids life and means they end up in therapy. Like every one. And I do believe entering into this beaut world of blogging and social media has made me even madder! 

You get glimpses into other people's lives and the things they get up to with their lovely children and also the amazing interiors they have. And I look around at my little tiny abode with the messy playroom and my beautiful but quite frankly sometimes a bit mad kids and I think. Jeez something is going seriously wrong somewhere.

When I knew what I wanted!

Odd things I have mulled over at 3am are dummies (use of), sippy cups (leaking v non leaking variety), extra curricular activities (benefits of/my child's refusal off), toys (kids too spoilt or not spoilt enough)? And so on and on and on and on. I could bore you for hours. 

I wish there was a plan with children and you could set your clock by it (oh like a gro clock! Imagine that!) But there just isn't. There really isn't. I awake in the knowledge that I have no idea what the hell is going to happen in any one day. Sometimes it's a glorious feeling. Sometimes plain terrifying. 

So I'm going to try and be a bit more decisive and go with my gut instinct. Starting today. Or I'm worried I may miss this little tiny bit of time where "Mummy" is the answer to each question the girl is asked and where the boy clings to my legs as I go about my daily business. 

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14 comments:

  1. Oh look at your gorgeous wedding dress! Beautiful!! I totally do the whole 3am stressy thing too - i blame the boy for waking me up! Stressing and list making are definitely best saved for the early hours ;) xx

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    1. Thanks RE: the dress! Oh god I worry so much now but unless I am so knackered I fall fast asleep! xxx

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  2. Stunning wedding photo lovely! I totally know what you mean - i wish there was an actual manual telling you what was the 'right' decision but the truth is I don't think anyone knows. No matter how many kids you have i think we are all just muddling through, hoping we don't inadvertently make a hash of things! Gut instinct usually steers you right though. xx #allaboutyou

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    1. Glad you like the dress! Gut is defo the way to go. I need to chillax a bit I think and try not to get too wound up about things xxx

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  3. I think everyone feels like this when they have a small baby. It's only natural really - I know I did! The feeling does pass eventually.:) #AllAboutYou (love your wedding photo btw, gorgeous dress).

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  4. Great wedding photo! I think we're all like this in some ways, I was talking about it to the hubby recently. We realised that we've been holding our boys back with things like pocket money. We don't really give it to them and just buy the things they want. Unfortunately this has resulted in them not really knowing the value of their things. A big change is heading to the Prince household! Great post. #AllAboutYou

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    1. Glad you liked it! Oh god we totally spoil ours. We do do the pocket money thing with the eldest. Then still buy things! xxx

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  5. Oh hon, all those beauty blogs and blogs or social media where you only see perfection, you know they're only part of the truth - the dirty laundry has been kicked under the bed, or washing up chucked into the oven because they haven't unloaded the dishwasher yet before taking piccies of yet another perfectly made cake! Be easy on yourself - it does get easier, and it's basically like learning a new language or how to drive a car. You get there in the end, it just comes with a few bumps or misunderstandings along the way while working it all out! Thanks for linking to #AllAboutYou and gorge wedding piccie xx

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    1. You're defo right. I have tried not to be too hard on myself. Having the two has been a steep learning curve you know. But there's light at the end of the tunnel. Now to think about number three. Ha ha ha xxx

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  6. If only we could have the hindsight before the stuff happens... oh yes but... I feel like I just about get the hang of some parenting thing and then it's done with and onto the next thing. #AllAboutYou

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    1. It's a never ending roller coaster! xxx

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