Tuesday, 20 May 2014

World Cup Widow

With a three year old girl I am used to my house being choc-a-bloc with stickers, princess stickers, Minnie stickers, stickers on the sole of my slippers, stickers wet and wrecking washing that comes out of the machine. But there is a new sticker in town. It's a big retangular sticker. And it has random men's faces on. Some are shiny. Yes. It's that time again. The time I have taken to calling "for gods sake that bloody sticker album". The Official Fifa World Cup Panini sticker album which has turned my husband into a man possessed.

Let's clear this up. The hub is not a 'young Dad' who could be forgiven for popping down to the local shop every night to spend 50p on stickers. No. He is in his 30's. He is a quantity surveyor. He is also a man obsessed. He now uses words like 'swapsies'. He has a spreadsheet with lots of sticker numbers on, which he ticks meticulously and he has also said "this time round I am going to complete this bad boy". And I kid you not. He sends me into my work. With his extra stickers. To 'swap'. Nooooo not with my pupils. Don't be daft. No, with the other male members of staff who are in their 30's collecting the stickers and no doubt driving their partners mad too (shout out to the man who has a special case to carry his in - you know who you are).


And you know what's worse? The World Cup hasn't even started yet!!! Not until the 12th June. So what the hell is he going to be like during that month? Well I know. After ten years of being together we have seen a few World Cups. And he ignores me. That's right. For a month? I am invisible. He explains it like this "imagine, a month of non stop Sex and the City - you would ignore me right?". Well probably yes (and thanks for the totally out of date reference) but that's not the point. 

But this time round it is different. We have children. There are two of them. They are very small. And will not be sitting through endless boring football matches. There was already a hairy moment when the girl carelessly ripped into one pack of stickers and the husband raised his voice (now I have seen the girl punch her brother square in his face and try and smash stuff up, no voice was raised then). I have the 'child card' and I am not afraid to play it. Heed this warning my love. I am a World Cup Widow no more. And if you do ignore me and our children solidly for a month. I have a brand new pack of felts for the girl. And she will be looking for some paper to draw on. I know where you keep that bloody sticker album. And I'm not afraid to use it.


14 comments:

  1. I have to confess I have also gone through an adult spell of buying football stickers! I'm new to your blog I have just discovered it I think its brilliant :-D any luck with sponsorship for Britmums live ? I'm a @adaddyblogger on twitter :-D

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    1. Found you on twitter! And linked up with you lovely. No sponsorship as yet. Bah! Maybe Chanel are biding their time??? See you there!

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    2. Will look forward to it thanks for lining up !

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  2. haha - embrace it. We are having themed parties - which basically means I get to eat, drink and chat while they watch football on replay - Sambucca and pizza anyone? x

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    1. That my Bab is a bloody brillo idea! Love it. I never even thought booze could be involved!!! xxx

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  3. One thing I am very grateful about is that my husband has absolutely NO interest in football! *punches the air* (He is a rugby fanatic but I don't mind that) xx

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    1. You lucky lucky sod. I can play the old you've been watching football for a month so you must now babysit forever card. So I am pleased by that xxx

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  4. My fella isn't that interested in football....I'm not either but we'll probably end up watching the England matches....
    My friends son is collecting those stickers.....He's obsessed too but he's only 9...hehehe x

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    1. 9? Is fine for such stupid activities. 32? Foolish. The stupid man!!! It is making me so cross xxx

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  5. I called my hub's bluff and picked up the album for him, thus removing any "forbidden fruit" cache. Also, he is too distractable to actually complete it. I see the World Cup as an opportunity to drink with warm child-cushions on my lap / head. Love your post xx

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    1. Mine is now determined to do it. Almost in competition with the male staff at my school. It is ridic. Hopefully he will get bored of it. But I doubt he will. God knows how much it will cost the doofus xxx

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  6. Noooooo! My son is into both the sticker book AND the cards...he takes them into school every day but sadly they've been banned from swapping :( Has your husband been banned yet?! Love your threat at the end! x

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  7. Nooooo! I couldn't bear it if my husband took this up as well as my son. He takes them to school every day to swap, not just the stickers but the Match Attax cards too - could be worse you see ;) x x

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