Wednesday, 4 June 2014

A Poem for A New Mum

New Mums don't do heels
They only drink cold tea
Sick and baby crap all down their tops 
Tiny, grubby hand prints on their knee

Their hair is often unwashed
And usually looks a mess
If they are feeling 'fancy'
They will don clean leggings and a flowery dress

They stroll around in Mum coats
With a huge ginormous bag
Their tired, greasy, unmade face
Resembles that of an elderly hag

Underwear is baggy
Pants are definitely grey and big
You will often find them standing in the mirror
Saying "Oh god, I'm such a fat pig!"

They only sleep for two hours
And that is with one eye shut
They juggle making bottles
Whilst rocking the baby to sleep with their left foot

But yet they are New Mums
And you must remember that
Think back to how f*cking hard it is
And when you looked like crap

So if you see a New Mum
Tiredly walking by
Give a smile, a knowing wink
And go over and say "Hi!"

Tell her it will get better
One day she will eventually sleep
It may not be tomorrow
But it could be in the next few weeks.

And just before you leave
Say you think that she looks nice
Although you're probably lying
What you've said?..... Is just right.

Prose for Thought


  1. Aw Em. Bet you are a lovely visitor to your new mummy mates. Love this! Xxx

    1. I love it when my friends have babies because I go straight back into moaning mode and just commiserate with them!mxxx

  2. haha - don't be coming to my house with your lies. I am still in new mummy mode - must buy some make up xxx

    1. Mmmm you look lovely today. Cough cough xxx

  3. This poem is very true, I'm just wondering how long I can use the excuse for! Gotta be a good few years... no?

    1. I've been flogging for 18 months now. Will keep it going till my youngest is five at least xxx

  4. Ahh this made me want to cry a bit. I remember people telling me i was doing a good job and how much it meant at the time so i always try and say it to new mums myself x

    1. And me bab. Especially if they look a little bit sad. Makes me want to hug them. But as a stranger? That would look odd xxx

  5. Ahhh bless you this is wonderful. and so true. And what a thing to do and encourage others to do if we did see someone new. I love it. I am with Mel how long can I use the new mom excuse for... cause I still look like crap. hahahah And need more sleep not because of the kids but another baby called LTM. hahahaha Popping over from #prose4t

    1. Oh god bab bet you work so hard with your linky! The one I did nearly killed me. It takes so so so much time. I admire your commitment lovely xxx

  6. Yes- all too true! Mine are no longer new babies but I'm definitely still in grey pants and cold tea mode. X

    1. My pants are so big they are virtually shorts. Fact xxx

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