Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Older than Bloomin Postman Pat

On Sunday as I was dozing in the film Postman Pat whilst my girl was transfixed, I spotted something. Something that shocked me to my very core. In one scene. There was a little stats shot on Pat. Name: Pat Job: Postman etc and the age bit said he was 33. 33. THIRTY FLIPPING THREE??? But that means I am three years older than POSTMAN PAT!!! Who I feel always comes across as right old fuddy duddy. Right?

How the god damn hell was this possible? That means when I was in sixth form he would have been a mere third year at school (am I the only one who still judges people by the school year they are in?). What the actual hell! It dawned on me as I rammed pick n mix grumpily into my gob. I was old. It was official. If I was older that stupid Pat. Then? I was like proper old.

I don't know how this happened. It seemed that one point in life I was hip and trendy and down with the kids. I wore nice underwear. Hell I even owned a Marc Jacobs bag! And now? Mmmmmm I wear the worlds largest pants (so large today my girl tried to don it as she thought one pair was her vest, true story) and I own far too many Cath Kidston bags. The floral print which I so crave has to be up there on the lists of the desires of an older lady.


I always remember in 'Sex and the City' when Carrie turned 35, which at the time I thought was like well old. You know it's the one where no-one turns up for her birthday, she wears the most ridiculous headband and then drops the birthday cake she brought herself. How tragic I thought at the time. A) stupid headband B) how crap having all your friends to busy to hang out with you.

Now that's me that is. Minus the headband. I prefer the top knot or side plait. Probably looking equally stupid. It is so hard as a group of friends to get together. Friends have moved, had babies, got hectic lives. Life just kinda got away from us. My main social life now is play dates, which manages to combine gossiping and tea. Rather than nights out combining dancing and booze.

OK, in the scheme of things I am not really that old. And I'll be honest I am a lot happier that I was in my early 20's. I care a little less. And hell yeah I enjoy a bloody good nap. My pants are big but at least they aren't up my arse. The friends I have now are in for the long haul, seen me look a state with leaky boobs and manic, hormonal weeping. But you know what? I refuse to believe I am older that Postman bloody Pat. He so must have lied on his job application. Sly sod.

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34 comments:

  1. That is the only answer - he is NOT 33. I am 33. He is not. He lied. Sneaky bastard.

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    1. He is a sneaky bastard bab. True dat xxx

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  2. No way?!! I'd have put him at 50 at least! I'm older than him too then. Bugger! Traumatised Em. Traumatised. ;) x

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  3. No way?!! I'd have put him at 50 at least! I'm older than him too then - bugger! Traunatised Em. Traumatised! ;) x

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  4. If he's 33, it would have been child labour when he was busy delivering letters when WE were children. It's all lies. It must be!

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  5. It was an error - he is 53 if he's a day. I won't have it *runs off sobbing* - I am off to buy some talc and pear drops. xxx p.s. I would snooze during that drivel too ;) xx

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    1. Oh I heart a sleep in the cinema. We went to see X Men the other day on a date. I slept for a good hour. Was a joy xxx

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  6. Whenever I need some problem relating this issue I come to your site and get very informative stuff thanks a lot for your article . Keep it up.
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  7. I hate it when I see or hear something that makes me feel suddenly old. It's good to be able to laugh about it though! #allaboutyou

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    1. Oh I do feel old! But I am quite happy with it! xxx

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  8. And yet Pat's best friend is a cat - that he talks to - and who often proves to be cleverer than him... so I think we should all pity Pat, even if he has a few years on us!! (in my case - whisper it - 10).

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    1. Yeah he's obv mad as a hatter with his daft cat xxx

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  9. Lol I love this and there is NO WAY that Pat is only 33! He has got to be older than that, he just has to be! Fab and funny post as ever lovely! I haven't actually come to terms with the fact I'm in my 30s at all yet. I'm happy and fine but for some reason it surprises me every time I see something that reminds me I'm not 24 anymore. Mentally I am totally stuck at age 24. Weird! xx #allaboutyou

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    1. I am always stuck at 18 which is half my age. This is a tragic tragic thing that makes me sad often. It's rubbish! xxx

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  10. I'm with you on this, he must have lied... it's the only explanation! #allaboutyou

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  11. This really made me chuckle. Fab post xx

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  12. Pay, he's not 33... No way! It's just not allowed :) #AllAboutYou

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  13. How dare they make him that old unbelievable ! Ha Ha #iPotLinkup

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    1. Oh god are you YOUNG!!! I'm not sure I shall link up again! xxx

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  14. He must be the nerdiest, most cardigan-wearing 33 year old ever!! Or else everyone else is right - it was a typo!! X

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    1. Maybe it meant 53? Do we think? It had too! xxx

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  15. I'm so glad I've been spared this movie - especially as it's clearly full of LIES! I love a bit of full bottom coverage too ;) Hilarious post nan ;) x

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    1. Big pants are the best pants in the world. Fact. And jamas. And Slippers #nan xxx

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  16. iPostman Pat is an old git, defo. I'm with you on all of your points big knickers, check. top knot, check. too busy for mates, check. I'm 32 on saturday and have no plans currently typing one handed with small child on knee so can't even d capital letters anymore or type properly. oh dear. funny post! we are definitely not as old as postman pat no way xxx

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  17. I have put child down. Sorry for the disgraceful grammar and punctuation. It was the kid wot made me do it :) xxx

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    1. We totes aren't. And stop using your child for making out you type badly!!! We know your game!!! xxx

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  18. That is exceptionally depressing! lol xx

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  19. I am horrified that I am the same age as Pat! Going to cry in a corner now :(

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