Sunday, 20 July 2014

Lazy Summer Mornings and Evenings. What a load of old b*llocks.

It's summer. Oh we have had some unreasonably warm weather. It's been amazing to sit in the garden with the other half, drink some of that new fancy Elderflower Pimms everyone has been going on about and just generally have a super time chit chatting about life. Oh hang on. Woah there. I forgot...

I OWN TWO TODDLERS WHO ARE REFUSING TO GO TO BED! 

What the actual f*ck? Come back winter all has been forgiven! Come back jet black nights and mornings. Come back freezing cold weather, so no-one, especially not tiny children, want to leave their beds. This past muggy summer week has been awful and I feel that it is a sign of worse things to come. But you know what makes really struggling getting your tots to bed even better? Go on what do you think it is? Is it the leisurely lie ins eating croissants in bed watching Homes Under the Hammer the next day? No, because...

I OWN TWO TODDLERS WHO ARE GETTING UP BEFORE 5AM!

Please don't mention black out blinds, or gro clocks, or Gina Ford, or fans or cutesy summer pyjamas. We have all these covered. And still the loves of my life. My tiny little beauties are f*cking waking me up at 5am. Or sometimes? BEFORE! So here are the tired musings of a slightly unhinged woman about late nights and ridiculously early mornings:

I want to drink you so bad. You will have to wait. My children are running wild


* In the summer. The ending music of In The Night Garden does not make my children sleepy. No, in fact it seems to have the opposite effect. Of 'hey now it's time to really cause trouble'. Can't the post Jackanory style slot with ex soapstars be a story about how dinosaurs will EAT YOU if you don't go to bed? We don't want morals. We want fear. Come on Kym Marsh. Do it for us Mums!

* Why don't kids get we are all hot and bothered and tired? It's not just aimed at them. I too am sweating like a pig, trying to catch children whose sweat is making them to slippery to hold onto. My summer Matalan pyjamas seem to be made out of non breathable material and I am baking AND JUST WANT TO GO TO BED.

* It is hot. But I am an irrational Mother and therefore I refuse to leave the fan on all night as I think it will set on fire and the house will burn down. I also won't leave the window open as even though it is so small and high no one could actually ever get in or out. I think either a crazed murderer shall climb in or you will somehow get superhuman powers and fly up and jump out. Deal with it and remain hot. But not too hot. Then I worry you will faint.

Yeah. You sleep now. You sod

* When you awake at 4.30am. Do not expect me to be nice. In fact do not expect me to speak. Expect me to pick you up, stumble a bit as I am all shell shocked and try and force you to sleep in bed with me, and your Father and a dog and another child, with the window closed. It is hotter than hell in here. It would be better for everyone if you SLEPT IN YOUR OWN BED.

* TV channel owners of the world. We are all up around 5am. So why? Why oh why. Is CBeebies not on then? Why did today I have to sit and watch a really strange cartoon with nuns and that seemed to be a bit French? Or there is the other show where it is a creepy girl and a talking bear. I pay my TV license! I would be willing to pay an extra £1 a year for those six weeks where the summer mornings take over our children and turn them rabid.

I am aware I have used an awful lot of capitals and bold fonts in the piece of writing but such is my anger at the weather. Yes, it is lovely going for picnics and visiting the odd National Trust Park. And of course I like feeling the sun on my face and seeing my children frolic in the garden. I just love my child free evenings and weird French cartoon free mornings. That little bit more.

How are all your little ones sleeping? OK? Or are you struggling too with the heat?
Any top tips? Remember I own EVERYTHING in the gro clock range so any other tips? 
And not controlled crying. We have done that too! 

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56 comments:

  1. Ha Ha Ha Ha.... In a non creepy way, I kind of feel like you wrote this post from one of my bedrooms at 5am!!!!! I hear you. Today I said to my Husband "My favourite weather is when it is a still, ice cold day in winter... this weather is bulls**t!"... seriously, who wishes away summer?! Great Post xxx

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    1. You are so right! This weather is so bulls**t!!! xxx

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  2. I am actually laughing so much reading this post. Sorry. But I am exactly the same about leaving the windows open and leaving a fan on, you are too right that these are potential danger and fire hazards. I am afraid I have no words of wisdom accept hang on in there and let us know how the new Pimms is.

    www.lauraevelynbee.co.uk

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    1. I can confirm. The new Pimms?? Is yum!!! xxx

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  3. hahaha! So funny!!
    My youngest won't sleep....It was 10pm tonight and she'll be up about 6am!! Funny though on a school morning I have to drag her out of bed....lol

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    1. It's always the way. Mine always sleep for hours at their Grandparents house! It's so annoying! xxx

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  4. I leave windows open and fans on. Sod safety we're hot. No duvet, just a sheet, no pj's. This post is exactly how it is.

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    1. I think I shall have to embrace the open window. Live a little and hopefully I shan't get killed! xxx

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  5. I've randomly caught that nun thing too before ha ha!!

    I have no words of wisdom as I own a terrible sleeper. However I cannot imagine having the window shut !!

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  6. Yes. Yes. Yes. Up at 5am. Struggling to get them to bed (for good!) until nearly 8pm. Am hot. Sticky. Tired. A lot of my pre-pregnancy stuff is still too tight so am relying on less & less weather appropriate clothing that is comfy. Ahhhh! It's too sticky. They are grumpy. I am grumpy. Why don't you JUST SLEEP?! I want to! To add to the joy factor: this weekend I off-loaded full parenting onto the hubby so I could sit in a hot room for 2 longgggg and intense days of volunteer training. My own worst enemy eh?

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  7. P.S. It'll be dark all the time soon. And shite weather. Hold on to that thought. Am fantasising about boots, coats and scarves already... Xxx

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    1. Oh I LOVE long boots and wooly tights and snuggle warm blankets. Sigh xxx

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    2. Thick wooly tights and taking a your layers off when you enter a snuggly welcoming coffee shop... Sigh! Xx

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  8. Sorry for your pain.

    I must be lucky as although N is up between 5.30 and 6.45 (nothing unusual there), he does still go to bed anytime between 7.15-7.45. Usually because he's so exhausted from the heat and being outside playing most of the day. I just find the "wipe them out all day" at nursery, or playing outside/working on the farm with his dad, works really well.

    Gro clocks don't work here for mornings because he just turns it to yellow himself - I've never worked out how to lock it. And we don't have black out blinds. He just likes and needs his sleep.

    Oh, and window open - we have N's broken stair gate across his window to prevent him falling/climbing out!

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    1. Oh good plan!!!!! You are super lucky. I think I am a bit thick as I can't work the clock very well either? Or I forget to put it on? My girl is not so bad. My boy is too little to understand the clock yet. Curses! xxx

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    2. To lock it you press on the down button/key for a few seconds. You should see a little cross appear on the screen :-D

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  9. Totally relating to this post. I miss my evenings where I actually have 2 seconds to myself before I too head to bed tired and run down! It gets later and later that I find myself still running around after children who should have been in bed hours ago.

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    1. We did that last night. Ours were still roaming around at 8! I am figuring it's summer. So I am going to let things slide for a bit xxx

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  10. All bedtime routines have gone totally out the window since the days got longer. We let them run around in the garden post 6 and then post 7 pm. There is a major amount of 'negotiating' when the bath is mentioned; the four year old is now adamant that his bedtime is 9pm. *sigh*

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    1. Same here? It's just getting later and later! But yet the mornings? Not later and later. THE SODS! xxx

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  11. Baby's typical 'day has started' time is 6am come rain or shine. She is not doing too badly in the heat, fan on, window open but I, on the other hand am sweating like a pig and longing for winter! :) x







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    1. I am SO longing for Winter. I just cannot bloody wait! xxx

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  12. Great post, I have been cursing this weather ever since it has arrived. My perfect day would be cold bright and sunny, like Autumn or Spring. I really wish I didn't hate this weather so much...It's so annoying though. Nothing gets done and i have a 13 month old baby who just won't settle and crys, ALOT. Bring back the cold weather :) (I guarantee that when winter comes I will be saying, bring back summer) #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Same here! I will be moaning when the snow comes that I have nowhere to go. Maybe I am just really miserable?? xxx

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  13. This made me laugh, not at your misfortune, but at the way you tell it. Our 15month old will go to bed, but wakes up every two hours crying, and, happily for us, barfing up her dinner, at 1am. The smell of vom from an airlocked 25 degree baby cave is NOT ideal. So you have my sympathies. #brilliantblogposts

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    1. URGH! Hot baby sick sounds horrific bab! I do not envy you! xxx

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  14. Oh bless you. We have the same problem...luckily not with the early mornings...it is more like 6.30 here...but up till 9pm?? When am I supposed to get any me time or me and hubby time? Aghhh...it is just a taste of things to come as they get older I fear. They are now nearly 7 and 5 so I guess I better get used to it! Tips? I have none. Last night I resorted to shouting that it was too late for a 6 year old to be awake and to get up and play if she couldn't sleep. That seemed to stun her into sleep!!!!

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    1. We are really struggling spending time together at the moment due to the fact it is so warm and my boy who used to go to bed at 630 is now going past 8 it is a nightmare! And he's not sleeping in? How does that even work? xxx

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  15. Hehehe, welcome to my life for 3 WHOLE MONTHS OF THE YEAR. Yeah so emigrating to sunny Italy is all glam and wonderful and SLEEP DEPRIVED. So I get you, and we have tried everything too. If it's really, really too hot to sleep, I put a damp towel on M's mattress. That helps him get to sleep, but it sure as hell doesn't solve the early mornings. I don't know what solves that, other than winter.

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    1. Oh my god of course!!! That would be utterly horrific! I have no idea what really really hot countries would do? I would weep!!! Poor you (but then again not poor you as you do live in beautiful Italy) xxx

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  16. All I can say, although it won't make you feel better, is that you get used to coping on a lot less sleep the more deprived you are... it's fab that you can see the funny side of it. We are three years into a 'sleep problem' in my house and all humour has been lost xxx #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Ha ha ha love that all humour has been lost! I defo can cope on a lot less sleep. That is one bonus when I do ever go out, which is rare I can get by on a little amount of sleep xxx

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  17. The lack of bedtime in the summer really wears me out, too! Luckily mine are all old enough to entertain themselves in the morning, but I have a hard time sleeping when it's light so early, too! I hope your kids are soon worn out enough to give you some rest! :)

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    1. Last night they slept! Oh it was so nice having actual sleep! I woke up and felt so so happy! xxx

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  18. Since we started with the summer vacation our routines were thrown out of the window. At night it is too hot for my son to sleep and he will only settle down when its a bit cooler which is super late. At mornings he wants to always go out cuz its scorching inside the house. So there I dont know how to go back to my routine cuz this is bad. My son will go back to school with a messed up body clock! #BrilliantBlogPosts

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    1. That is exactly what I am worried about! The brill routine that we had set up has now gone all wrong! It's rubbish xxx

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  19. haha mine are doing the same at the moment and childless friends have suggested why don't you just make their bed time later! the later they go to bed the earlier they seem to sodding rise and when they do wake they're usually already in my bed having snuck in while i was zonked i only find out when i stretch out an kick one of them

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    1. My sister has said that in the past. But if I put them to bed at midnight? They would STILL be up at 5am. It is a nightmare!!!! xxx

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  20. It's tough isn't it and kids are so defiant. We are wasting hours of our life battling to get our toddler to bed so I can completely understand where you are coming from

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    1. It's awful isn't it? Lovely to meet you the other day xxx

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  21. Oh god I feel your pain! I walk around most days in a tired haze and spend all afternoon holed up in the house with curtains closed trying not to move because it is too hot! And I am afraid I can't sleep at all without the fan on me all night so I am being a selfish mummy and hogging it all to myself! Bring back cooler weather, all is forgiven! xx #brilliantblogposts xx

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    1. Urgh - being preggers in this weather? Must be horrific!! I do not envy you at all lovely. Roll on the Autumn xxx

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  22. If it was meant to make me laugh, this did. I can't really comment as my girls are just 11 months old so waking up at 5 is the norm for us. The nuns that are a bit French sound strange, I've yet to encounter them. But my life consists of baby TV! FML those songs get stuck in my head while I'm TRYING to sleep. This weather sucks nuts sometimes. Hope the pimms brings a form of light relief to your day. #brilliantblogposts

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    1. It's today your special day. It's today your special day.....URGH ARGH VOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

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  23. Read this earlier in the week and loved it. There is ALWAYS a downside to summer isn't there? Even I'm not sleeping well at the moment, never mind your toddlers! Perfect for those afternoon siesta though, eh? If only, I hear you cry! Loving the look of that pimms though ;) x

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    1. Oh god bring back the nap all has been forgiven! There was like a few weeks when they both napped at the same time! IMAGINE THE JOY! That however? Has sodded off now. Urgh xxx

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  24. I love this and I can so relate state side as its hot hot here and the kids don 't like trying to sleep in the heat either. I can't believe out of the seven years that I have lived in the UK that its just as hot there now while I am gone. Guess that's a good thing seems like everyone is struggling with the little ones and the heat too! Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. So sorry it took a few days to comment we didn't have power for two days due to a bad storm. #sharewithme

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    1. Oh yes you've gone and the weather is beautiful! My boy is still up nearly an hour after his bedtime sob sob sob xxx

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  25. I am SO with you on all of this!! It is bad enough having a 7 year old who is too hot and needs the fan on - I really don't miss having small children in this. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

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  26. Have to agree on the cbeebies thing. Not really an issue for us now as H mostly watches YouTube, but it was a pain in the neck. At that sort of time in the morning, you just want to turn on something that is reliable and safe before collapsing on the sofa.

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    1. Sometimes? I literally just lie there. And just watch my boy run like a loon in circles. Sigh xxx

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  27. I feel your pain! It hasn't been so hot up here, not enough for the kids not to sleep anyway. Do they nap during the day? Bella was waking early and when I cut her naps down she started sleeping later. Might be worth a try if you've tried everything else? Otherwise, I can send matchsticks... x x x

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  28. Oh last week was terrible, 7 days of 5am or earlier wake ups, geez it was TOUGH. Thankfully he slept in until 7am today, hallelujah x

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  29. Summer is just not good for our sleep, any of us-I love the sunny days, just need wintery nights, this made me laugh too! My kids don't sleep at the best of times, literally giving up on a good night until their 21! or you know 30 (cause they'll still live with me then won't they!!) Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

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