But hang on. This rest? This 'me' time. Was me going to get a bloody smear test!!!
Yes, the joyous 45 minute rest and relaxation time. WAS TO GET A SMEAR TEST! Not go to a spa, not have some Pimms in a beautiful country pub, not even going to the flicks and tucking into some pick 'n' mix on Orange Wednesday. Nope. It was to get my privates, my foo (yes I use foo, yes this makes me immature, but I like the word foo) looked at.
Since having my children I have found it increasingly hard to get any 'me' time and 'me' time generally is me getting my hair cut, or food shopping, or nipping out to hastily buy some clothes. So 'me' time is basically me doing normal everyday tasks under the guise of me having a 'treat'. Good job I have this amazing 'me' time or else I would be a long scraggly haired, starving, dirty ragged hobo.
This is not a smear test. This is is what should be classed as fun. Cocktails.
I am aware I have no-one to blame for this lack of 'me' time but myself. Nope no-one. My children can't be blamed as they are tiny creatures that need me to look after them. OK, so maybe my husband should not offer to 'babysit' whilst I get my foo (yes I said foo again) checked out like it's some huge treat. But really? Me, it's me that is to blame.
I need to put some time aside for me. I need to make sure I kick myself up the butt and when my parents offer to babysit go and do something for me. Not go and do the weekly food shop. But it's hard isn't it? Hard not to continuously do something for your family. When you start to think of a smear test as being a treat? You know you need to reassess your standards of 'fun' activities. When having a chat with your nurse about holidays is an exciting break from watching Peppa? There's something wrong. When reading a three month old 'New Woman' magazine is the most recent celeb gossip you've come across. You've got issues.
Tonight? I ordain that I shall give myself a mani/pedi! OK, I'm only using Rimmel cheapy varnish. But I shall do it whilst eating Fruit Pastilles, and watching Big Brother. Oh and I may even have a Pimms! Tonight I will have 'me' time. Oh after of course I've had a little tidy up ohhhh and the playroom could do with being sorted out.......
PS whilst a smear test is in no way shape or form 'fun'. You should get them done. They are dead important. And you may get to read some really old gossip about Lily Allen like I did.