Monday, 25 August 2014

Toddler Holiday Inevitability's

We have just come back from our summer holiday, a few days away in a beautiful cottage in the middle of the countryside. Imagine Pimms on the porch, watching the sunset over slow flickering candle light. Imagine leisurely days going in to little knick knack shops buying the sweetest antiques to adorn our shelves on our return. Ha! You just remembered that we are the parents of two toddlers. This makes holiday a whole different kinda experiences. Here are the inevitability's of a UK holiday, with two tiny tots.

Location
We went to literally the worlds most romantic and beautiful location. And let me set you straight I am all for holidays in the UK. We have always at least two a year. We have done Butlins and have even embraced the odd £9.50 Sun newspaper hol. But it makes NO difference where you are. Within two minutes? The kids own that abode. You've brought all their favourite toys for fear of meltdown, a wardrobe which contains pretty much everything they own from rain suit to a cossie due to the doom of the ever changing weather. You can't turn the log fire on for fear of the child putting head, hand, dog in it. 


Activities
They want to go to the beach they say. It's raining you say. WE WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH they say. So you drive two hours to the beach. In the pissing down rain. Like torrential rain. You get there. And you sit in the rain. Making a sandcastle. Looking like maniacs. But it's OK other equally miserable parents are doing the same. You then eat an ice cream. And go home. Over four hours driving. For one hour at the beach. Twenty minutes of that was spent trying to buy me a new waterproof oversized Mum coat. 


Food
Is it me or does holidays makes kids be bat shit cray cray? The countryside is full of beautiful places to eat. Country pubs, little tiny tea rooms full to the brim of glorious food products but when we get there? We always end up turning into The Clampetts. Children forget good food takes like more than the 15 minutes it takes to cook waffles. So they go feral. They run. They shout. They destroy things. They then see said beautiful nice food and demand waffles. So you end up sacking off nice food establishments in favour of picnics (to be eaten at 11:30am) or 'snacks of holiday' i.e ice cream and shit. One night I had a pack of pork scratchings. For dinner. 


Sleep
Or rather lack of it. After many, many futile attempts at getting my children to sleep in caravans, or log cabins, or hotels we decided this holiday to just give up. Yep. We gave up. Sorry Gina Ford. And this is how we ended up watching Dora the Explorer EVERY night and then going to bed at 8:30pm. One with one child, one with the other. No Pimms were consumed on the evening, we didn't even get to watch bloody Big Brother! Nope, we both spent ten hours confined to a bed with the following happening: toddler foot in head, toddler foot in stomach, toddler screaming random things like "I wanna be first", toddler getting up as she is cold, and so on. Then everybody up at 6am for another 'fun' day in the 'sun'. Urgh. 


Children
Children love sand in the rain, ice cream for tea, Dora every night, sleeping with their parents, laughing at Mum's new daft coat, running around pubs, putting their feet on their parents body, all night, to keep warm. Kids bloody love holidays. Every little last minute of them. And as far as I'm concerned? That makes every manic, rainy, exhausting, bad nutrition, Dora watching moment worth it. Same place next year???


43 comments:

  1. This made me giggle out loud. Sorry!!!

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    1. Karen aka Mini Travellers! Can't get the comments to work on my phone!

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    2. Phones and comments are crapola! xxx

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  2. Another fabulous post lovely. You've totally hit the nail on the head at the end - it is worth it to see the kids enjoying themselves. Sandcastles in the rain are character building and who needs Pimms when you're high on life anyway? xxx

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    1. Yeah you're right! (but Pimms would be bloody lovely no?)! xxx

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  3. All so true! Holidays with little ones are not holidays - just exhausting! All good fun ;-) xx

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  4. I agree with you, I love going away with the kids...Dean hates it and 2 days in will start with his ''We aint effing bringing them on holiday again....we will go on our own'' (yeah 'cuz there are sooooooooooooo many relatives waving there hands to look after the rats!!!!!) x

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    1. Ha ha ha ha! This comment really made me laugh! The rats. Hilar! xxx

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  5. Same old shot - different location ;)
    You all look dead happy though babs so it cant be all bad! xx

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  6. It's the Great British Holiday (with toddlers!) :-) I'll never forget chasing EJ up and down nice gourmet pub in Norfolk in June only for him to lie down flat on the floor in the middle of everyone and scccreammmm!! Relaxing, not! I'd rather that than take them *anywhere* on a plane though!! X

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    1. We took a ten month old to NEW YORK? What were we thinking???? Cray cray xxx

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  7. Babies first holiday this past week: not what I'd call a holiday bit she loved it! lol x

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  8. So true but can you imagine doing it abroad? We haven't been that brave yet!

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    1. We took the two of them to Lanzergrotty in the year. Sigh. Vom xxx

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  9. Haha - summer holidays in England require the grit and stamina of an world class athlete (and the same lack of booze). Welcome home bab

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  10. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry Em?! It's like you need a holiday after the holiday to relax & unwind from it all right? That cottage looks absolutely beaut. :)

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    1. We do bab! We need a holiday post holiday - least you've got your nice girly one too look forward to xxx

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  11. I absolutely LOVE your cottage. It looks amazing. I'm sure that this will be one holiday you ALWAYS remember xx

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  12. Gorgeous cottage! And as someone who goes to Wales on a regular basis it always pisses it down. At least you can laugh about it (and the rain will hide the tears!) Xxx

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    1. Thanks bab - It was just so rainy. I have literally never seen such rain. Sob Sob xxx

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  13. I chuckled all the way through, especially the maniacal sandcastle building in the torrential rain. Ahhh the glmaour eh? And then even at the end of it you look gorgeous in the last photo!!

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    1. Yeah as that was us going there!! I wasn't going to take a shot on the way back! ha ha ha xxx

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  14. Yep, been there done all of that again and again. Still doing it too :-)

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    1. And we will continue to do so too! xxx

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  15. haha sounds like a combination of hell and magic at the same time :) ah the joy of toddlers!! xx #sharewithme

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  16. This has made me chuckle. But you're right, they do love it. Every moment, every new thing. We shall make up for lack of Pimms soon!!! Xxx

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    1. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! xxx

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  17. Oh bless you! I vividly remember those days but hold on to the thought that it can only get better...and next year will be one step closer! Mine have just turned 5 and 7 and things are WAY easier now...but FAR from perfect!! As you say, all good fun! ;)

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    1. I think next year will be a lot easier when my boy can talk and is in a proper bed. A baby no more sob sob sob xxx

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  18. That cottage looks lovely! Holidays with toddlers are just not the same, as I found out from an horrendous centre parcs trip! I am sure we will laugh about it in the future!!

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    1. My girl had a full breakdown in center parcs. Twas horrific! xxx

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  19. We rented a naice cottage in Dorset last couple of years, and within 15 minutes, the whole places looked like it had been ransacked and had toysrus vom all over it- relaxing it was not! It's the packing and unpacking for a holiday in this country that gets me, I need a holiday by myself to get over it all...

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  20. I love this and you are so right. They love it so much no matter where it is. I have been trying to get Mr P to take more holidays in the Uk now that we have kids. We are dying to try Butlins and Centre parcs too! I have heard great things about both. Sounds like a lovely holiday and love your photos too. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round! #sharewithme

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  21. Haha I love this! The best bit is your huge smile in all the photos- gorgeous family fun! x x

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