Saturday, 16 August 2014

Let It Go...

Sometimes blog posts are written as you want to make people smile, or you want to make people join in a discussion or be informative or controversial. Or sometimes, you just want to blab on about how you feel and it makes no odds if people read it or not. And this is how I'm feeling today.

There's been a change. I've noticed it recently. Things are just well... getting easier. As soon as my boy could walk and now has started speaking, and my girl, who is now approaching preschool, is having fewer tantrums (but hell yes she can have some corkers!) life is just getting that little bit easier. I've started to feel a bit more like 'me'. A bit more normal, a little less hormonal and a bit more like a person and not just a provider of food, plasters and cuddles.



It all started with me throwing away some odd sippy cups that belonged to both of my children. I decided to upgrade to some nice trendy ones but alas was somehow conned into getting a Thomas, Spiderman, Sophia and Tinkerbell one? It's clever how they do that isn't it? Sly sods. The chucking away of these little items made me sad, and made me all wistful for the end of an era. The end of the 'bot bot' as my girl called it. I don't have babies now. I have one toddler and one soon to be little girl. Sob. But then something strange happened....

I started nesting. It was weird like a post pregnancy, post baby nesting period. And this is why I am typing this, sat in the corner of my bedroom with piles of clothes and make up and old photos surrounding me. I am having a clear out. I am having a "say goodbye to a life full of tat" session. Raising my little tiny children has been so rewarding but somewhere along the way I lost 'me'. And it's time to get me back. Now life is easier I can focus on the things I loved that I forgot I loved - clothes, bags, make up, shoes (OK predictable but you should know me by now it was either going to be that or bunting). Do things I enjoy doing. Tomorrow me and the husband are going to V Festival. Only for the day but you know what? That's the start - the start of our new exciting future.

One where sleepless nights are far and few between. One where tantrums don't ruin the whole day. One where my gorgeous little family can go out and together we can chat and have fun and do such exciting things. Saying goodbye to the 'bot bot' was heart wrenching and made me have a little cry. But I am thankful to that tatty one armed stinky piece of plastic as now I have gotten rid of hoodies from Uni (I am 36 for some perspective), FOUR purple eye shadows (?), two ripped denim mini skirts that only Kate Moss could pull off, a Lily Allen and Backstreet Boys T-shirt and a host of other crap that was looming around my life and getting in the way.

I now intend to refill my drawers with things I adore and make me smile. I intend to make plans which it seems I may actually be able to keep and hell I may even read a book (or watch a little bit more tele oh or maybe a film!). Things are looking up. Better get back to sorting through my bobbles. I'm sure I saw a scrunchie in there and I know they are back in fashion...but really? Urgh.

22 comments:

  1. Aww this is lovely. And funny at the same time - scrunchies ARE back in, I've seen them in the shops. Dare you to wear them and your kids will think that you are WELL COOL. I know this period very well - Rosie is 16 months now and the 'baby' stage is just exiting the building. As much as this is relieving it is also quite bittersweet. They aren't babies very long and we should try and enjoy every part of bringing them up, even the crappy parts :) and crappy pants.... :) xxx

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    1. I am not wearing a scrunchie! NEVER!!! Saying that I wore a floral headband yesterday so who knows what may happen??? Oh god and those crappy pants. Poo is pants is the worst. Vom xxx

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  2. God you are making me want to have a clear out! I am still in the midst of babyness with an 8 month old but I am looking forward to the day I feel a bit more me. Enjoy v festival tomo with your flower in your hair.... And maybe a scrunchie- gowaaaan I dare you!

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    1. Oh we had such fun and I loved the flowers in my hair. But then I realised that all mid 30s women had flowers in their hair! Ha ha ha #cool xxx

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  3. Brilliant! I started feeling like that a while ago - my eldest turns 5 in a couple of weeks time and now EJ is two and is starting to speak a bit and understands everything, bedtime milky is long gone, the boys go off places holding each other's hands - it's just a massive difference to having them demand every little thing from you like little blooming limpits! The hubster and I went out for what was, admittedly, an early dinner, this evening leaving the outlaws to deal with them at tea/bath/bedtime - which I never would have imagined working out well for anyone before now, but actually? They were all OK and one was even in bed when we got home! Happy Days. A good old clearout is definitely good for the soul too ;-) X

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    1. It so is. Yesterday we had a lovely day and it was so nice knowing that the kiddies are with my parents and they are happy and we can just relax and have fun. Beaut xxx

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  4. I do like a good clear out!
    I must say I can't wait for that stage but I've got a long way to go, Arthur is 2 and a half and his sister only 4 months...

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  5. Aww, i love this Em, and i've been feeling really similarly lately. My 3 are getting so independent now, and I'm kind've breaking my heart about them all being at school soon, but it's a new phase, isn't it? So i'm having a think about how to keep myself busy, along with having a little cry, and trying really hard not to get broody!! :) Lovely post chicky xx

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    1. Ahhh I saw all their lovely school bags. How are they so old? Tis tragic. I think I will just have to go back to work full time to fill the void. Or become a total blogging queen! xxx

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  6. Hooray! It's a great feeling, isn't it? It's such a gradual process as things get a little bit easier. Then they go to school and everything mixes up again - new pressures, but free time alone too!
    Enjoy V Festival!

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    1. V Festival was fab thanks! We had such a good good time. Oh the doom of school. I am dreading it and it goes so fast doesn't it? xxx

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  7. Ah, this is lovely. It gives me hope - somewhere I have a box of nice underwear which got put away when I first got pregnant 4 years ago. You have inspired me to go on a hunt for that box this afternoon.....
    I keep having little tearful moments when E does something to keep reminding me that she isn't a baby and is growing up. Need to make the most of them before they turn into stroppy teenagers though.

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    1. I wish I had a box of mysterious underwear. I did find lots of really nice new make up that we forgot about which was such a dream find! It was amazing! xxx

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  8. Love this! So true. My girl was 3 and a half yesterday and my boy turned 10 months the day before. Girl is a proper individual and sometimes seems so grown up (despite the odd meltdown/screaming tantrum!) and the Boy is so close to standing unaided - climbed the stairs this weekend! He's not a teensy baby anymore. When he's walking and talking I bet I'll feel the same with the 'no babies now'... Also having a mass clear out, which seems to be taking forever. Will be good though. Once all the clutteris gone!

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    1. Ahhhh when he can walk it will be brilliant. I noticed a real change now with them all running around and chasing each other. Was fab xxx

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  9. We're at that stage too - my "baby" is almost 20 months and my "toddler" will be 4 at the end of the year, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't have a baby anymore, but I'm clinging to the idea that I have two toddlers! A clear out is long overdue here and this coming week is Operation ChuckItOut. I'm dreading it!

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    1. Oh they are like the same as my age!!! They must have been born at the same time. I am clinging to two toddlers till Christmas. And then? When they are older I shall get lots of puppies. And be a mad dog lady xxx

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  10. This is lovely Em. You are right though, you need to look forward and not back, exciting times are ahead!
    (I say this with a ton of baby clothes in piles and bags that i can't quite seem to chuck) but maybe i will off the back of your post!
    Hope you had a fab day at V xxx

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    1. We had such a fun time hun. But we saw some real sights. What is wrong with random men getting their privates out?? I don't know. THE FOOLS! xxx

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  11. We are heading to the carboot on Thrusday lunchtime to sell all our crap NOT BUY....i will not buy more crap...i wont i wont i wont!!! X

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  12. Give me another year to get the wee girl off to preschool and I might finally start to feel the same :) In the meantime I have a garage full of boxes to keep me busy :)

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