Sunday, 28 September 2014

Extreme Mumsying

I used to be hip and trendy. I worked in dance music PR, drank cosmos just like Carrie from Sex and the City and owned a TopShop store card. I read Vogue and on my lunch break? I brought my lunch. Brought it! It cost a fiver everyday. So what? Who cares? I was youth. Now? I get my sh*ts and giggles from what only can be described as 'Extreme Mumsying'. These are small mumsy style activities that I do, but take them one step too far and enjoy them so much more than is necessary or reasonable. Like I may even make a facebook status out of them or instagram the utter joy it brings me. Or write a blog post so I can read about it for posterity (ahem).

The 'Gift' Box
Remember the days when you used to get dead posh smellies for Christmas? Or lovely jewellery? Do you know what brings me joy now? When I get sh*t I don't want and I can put it in the 'gift' box to re-gift to someone else. Yep. I LOVE it. I feel I have cheated the system. And if that gift, came in a gift bag that I can reasonably reuse IT IS LIKE ALL MY CHRISTMAS'S HAVE COME AT ONCE! Quite literally. Also placed in here are the extra '1' from the Boots 342s. It's two for me. One for the box. Bliss.

New Slippers + Double Dressing Gowns + Gift Box = THE DREAM!


Double Dressing Gowns
Whenever pregnant women ask me for advice about having a baby I don't tell them about massaging their bum hole with olive oil, or go into depth about mucus plugs. No. I simply say "make sure, whatever you do? You have two dressing gowns bab". One dressing gown is not enough for the average parent. What if piss gets on it? Or sick? Or you spill luke warm tea down it? No. You need two of those bad boys. And if you are feeling extra specially extreme? A summer one - short and flirty for the husband (or in my case flowery and cheap from Primark).

Pay Day is New Slipper Day
In my house? Pay Day means just one thing and one thing only. New Slipper DAY! Wahoo!!!! Who needs fancy shoes when you can have slippers? The joy of a new slipper, actually a slipper that is a few days old so it is moulded just right to your foot. After a month? Those sods are floppy and good for nothing, some may say a danger when running down the stairs to answer the home phone (PPI again, b*stards). Like a dressing gown I like a spare pair of slippers. It's essential.

Keep your snazzy meals and nice homes. Next sale and tea is the new style!

Next Sale
You remember when you used to see people on the news queueing up outside shops to get a bargain and you thought who the hell could be arsed with doing that? Well you know what. I could. I do. And I relish it. The thrill of a half priced toddler hoody or a cheap dress. I get there. I arrive like a lone wolf ready to pounce on a jazzy summer hat for a six year old girl. Even though my daughter is only three and it's September. Next Sale? I come. I buy. I am triumphant.

I drink tea. Lots of Tea.
Pre having the kids. I didn't really like tea. Now? I love tea. I can't seem to function without tea. I drink tea continuously. I have had to stop having tea after 4pm as it was sending me mad, so now I have decaff tea. As I can't give up the feeling of having a cup of tea. If I am out. And someone offers me a cup of tea? I act like they are giving me the Crown Jewels and then I make weird moaning noises (oddly a little bit sexual. TMI?) when I drink it. I take tea drinking too far.

There are a host of other things that I now take a little too far I do that to be honest are an embarrassment. Such as over sharing (I once went in to graphic detail about my c section to an elderly Sikh man working in a photo shop) oh and yeah I talk to strangers. It seems that when my children came out - so did my dignity and any 'shame' gene that I once possessed. Now must go. I have to go and have another cup of tea. Decaff natch. I'm not mad.

And to prove my crazed Next sale status please enjoy below clothes I have 
brought for my children for NEXT YEAR on the below haul! Told ya. I am a maniac.


Come on. Fess up. What odd things do you do now you are a parent that you ruddy love?

57 comments:

  1. hahaha, this is great.

    I'm the proud owner of two dressing gowns. Here's hoping I might get a third for christmas! ;)

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps x

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  2. Tea with slippers on. That is the dream my friend. And the days you would buy a Pret lunch and it wasn't even your birthday. Sigh!

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  3. This is brilliant!
    I only own one dressing gown (might buy a secd tomorrow!) but, just between you and me, I often use my husband's dressing gown! It's really comfy!
    I do love a Next Sale as well! xx

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    1. I love my hubs too! It smells all nice and comfy x

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  4. I'm a proud owner of two dressing gowns too! I can't be doing with slippers but I will go gaga over a pair of fluffy slipper socks!

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  5. OMG! You are the blonde version of me! That gift box? I HAVE A WHOLE SH*TTING GIFT LOFT!!! We could be twins!! I also have two dressing gowns plus hundreds of big cardigans that work just as well too. I also love slippers although last Christmas I discovered slipper boots, amazing things and I have at least three pairs at once.
    I go to the Next sale religiously but only the end of season ones. I already have my money stash growing for Boxing Day. I WILL BE THERE AT 4AM!!!! Twice a year, Next, stupid o'clock. They are the highlights of my year. Better than Christmas!
    I also drink far too much tea. End of. We are TWINS!!! x

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    1. This may be one of my favourite ever comments. Bloggy twinnies!!!!! xxxxx

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  6. hahaha! Great post! I too have two dressing gowns.....You just have to with kids!

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  7. I love coming over to your blog, pulling up a comfy seat and getting myself ready to smile. Quite wonderfully when I read the section on dressing gowns... I literally spat out my mouthful of brew (classy huh?) but you know, you are right... I lost my shame about five and a bit years ago when my Son was born...still waiting for it to grow back or something xxx

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    1. Ah thanks bab - what a lovely thing to say. Glad you like it! Our shame will never grow back. Sigh x

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  8. Fabulous post hun. I should warn you that as your kids get older the 'Extreme Mumsying' thing only becomes more advanced! I love to talk to the cat, be in my PJs before 7pm and watch all sorts of TV that my daughters don't approve of! It's only doing stuff like this that keeps us sane

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    1. Ha ha ha! I talk to my cat AND dog. I am prepared for it to get worse and worse x

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  9. I loooooove new slippers so much! I hate Autumn but buying new slippers that are nice and warm makes it all better. Oh and a nice brew and biccie. Am I old?

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  10. Haaaaaaa yes at the one to wear nod to wash dressing gown!! My hub loves a Next sale more than me. He came back once with a receipt longer than a food shop! Twas amazing

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  11. I am not a dressing gown wearer, but I totes agree about slippers and tea. Oh, and I have a box of gifts. heehee Good work on the Next haul!

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    1. I wish to see inside your box of gifts! Why does that sound rude? x

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  12. Nothing is more exciting than a gift bag without being written on!

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  13. Brilliant post. I love a slipper. Fluffy booty ones and little slip ons. Pretty much wear flip flops and yes dressing gowns are an essential - I have 3. Yet to brave the sales. I also love the fact you re-gift. I've only done this a few times in my whole life. Xx

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    1. Three dressing gowns? You are a hero! x

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    2. Ha ha!! Yep my alter ego is dressing gown girl. X

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  14. Ahhhh i fear we are growing part! You with your vouchers and your early morning next sales :(( yuk.
    You still like gin though right?!
    Great post though, made me laff xxx

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    1. Good bab. We will always have our love of gin. ALWAYS x

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  15. I think I've got about six dressing gowns - I must be really old, ha ha! I always drank tea from a young age and switched to decaff years before kids but ironically I have become a bit of a coffee fiend since they came along. I bloody love a hazelnut latte - it just feels like a little treat to yourself when there's no one else to do it. Unfortunately it's not particularly economical...

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    1. Oh that sounds nice? Isn't trag that a drink has become a treat? Yuck! x

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  16. I keep telling the hubs I need another dressing gown, so I have a spare but he's not taken the hint! Tea is a must in my life, I cannot function at work without a cuppa! xx

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    1. No bab. The world stops when there is no tea x

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  17. This has made me so happy, the re-gift box is the actual best thing I the world ever!!! My fav things is how it's totally acceptable to talk about shit (real not like the cool version of stuff), you can be late for anything and no one judges.....of course it's just late, late and not fashionably late....,pah I've not been fashionably anything since I was pregnant!!

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    1. Ha ha ha! Nor me bab! Fashion has long since left me. I LOVE THE GIFT BOX! We need to compare them I think x

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  18. Oh Em! I have a re-gift box too! There is no greater feeling than whipping it out when you have a birthday pressie to provide. And I'll let you into a secret - I may, possibly (definitely do) hide some of the kids birthday presents to re-gift too. Does that make me an awful mother?? Xxx

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    1. No - I went to a Thomas event the other day. And we got two goody bags. I kept one to dish out as presents at a later date! How trampy is that! x

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  19. I cannot even count the ways of how mumsy and fogey I am. Fab post lovely, made me chuckle ha xx

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  20. So funny! I love sales and am perfectly comfortable to talking to strangers, too. It humiliates my kids, but I consider it just friendly! ;)

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    1. Yes! I talk to anyone. It is fine. It is happy and nice! x

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  21. That mug made me spit out my tea. Nice one #sharewithme

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    1. Ha! It is the worlds best mug in the world ever. Fact x

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  22. When I give people gifts I say, "I didn't write on the label so you can reuse the bag". I have ZERO shame now that I have pushed out a human.

    xx

    And yet again, still can't stop laughing about the double dressing gown!!!!

    #ShareWithMe

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    1. That is the same here! Me and my friends have like one gift bag that just goes round the houses. I think this is fine x

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  23. *Nods sagely at all the tea drinking* I def need to get me another dressing gown- in fact my latest one is from Next! I never used to understand the Next sale thing, but now I have kids and really like their clothes for them, I can see me at the next one. The catalogue dropped through my door the other day, and I'm going to sit down later, read it, and get excited about all the Christmas stuff. Such a Mum! #sharewithme

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    1. I LOVE Next clothes for the kids bab. They wash so very very well and I know this is a Mum thing to say but I ruddy love things that can be tumbled dried! x

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  24. Haha another fab post! I need to get me another dressing gown... x x x

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    1. Thanks hun! You need at least four now with all your clan! x

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  25. I absolutely love this. You are so funny love the video too. I am new to vlogging and need to learn so much. You are a natural. I am the same, I love the NEXT sale! I would buy things for MM when she was just born for when she was four because it was a bargain and she would eventually wear this gorgeous number I was sure. I also always go to sales in my favorite boutiques and look for sales for both my kids for up to the next five sizes too big. hahaha IF its on sale its a bargain! lol Too bad I can't do the same for myself. lol Lovely post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again soon. #sharewithme

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    1. Thanks hun! I have been watching and I think your vlogs are great! I just love talking and as a teacher I am used to just chatting in front of like 800 people in assemblies. I am basically just a gobby cow! I am glad you love a sale. Nothing makes me as happy. As a bloody good sale xxx

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  26. This is brill! Love the vid!
    I like Next stuff but hate shopping so I tend to do my sale shop online so miss the big bargains!
    I too am a massive luke warm tea drinker (not by choice).

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    1. Sigh. Hot tea??? Where have you gone. I need you in my life x

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  27. Oh man, this is just so funny! I too have a 'gift box' just like my own mother had. In fact I'd be disappointed if my own children don't have them as adults considering it's like a family tradition now ;-) x

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    1. My Mum has one too! She has drawer. I think my box has out done her! x

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  28. Yep, tea & buying good toys in the sale for my present box. We also buy the next years clothes in the sale although my boy caught me out by growing too quick! What 4 year old wears aged 6-7? Oh yes mine x

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  29. I'm loving the Dressing Gown Celebration; I have 5; one is a lovely special kimono stylee thing with a big bird embroidered on the back, I have nice big fluffy towelling one for chilly days, a silky one warm days and two that for everyday bog-standard-wash-one-wear-one days.

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