Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Sh*t just got real...

It dawned on me as I was waiting in the playground to collect my girl from pre-school this morning. That I am a Mum. Like an actual proper Mum Mum. Let me explain. For the past 20 months I have had the joy of being at home with my children bar the two days I work as a teacher, when I wasn't off on maternity leave. The days I was off with them were essentially me pootling around having cake with chums on the odd play date or running amok around Thomas Land. Copious amounts of cups of tea were drank, husbands moaned about, fancy dress outfits put on (the kids not us) and choccy biccys consumed.

But now? Sh*t just got real. There is no more pootling. There are parents evening forms to be handed in, cooking money to remember and teeny tiny shirts to be washed. I have to be at the same place twice a day at the same time. TWICE A DAY AT THE SAME TIME! And it is proper freaking me out. I'm no longer in the tired haze of having a new born, I'm not in the fretful, exhausting days of two toddlers. I am on a schedule. I am 'Mum'. I have no excuse for being a bit crap.

Whilst I was super sad when my girl went to pre-school this week due to the fact she is growing up. What really affected me was the complete change to my lifestyle. Something I had grown so accustomed to. It was a happy caffeine fuelled place where it didn't really matter if we popped to the Matalan sale or watched 56 episodes of Peppa in a row. There are now no reasons for me not to clean the house, not to provide healthy meals for the whole family, not to think about Mum things like booking hair appointments only at weekends or ensure PE kits are ready for a certain day.


I think it is going to take me a whilst to get used to being the Mum. I still have the boy with me but the poor sod is also on a routine now and getting him dressed and out of the house this morning for 8:30am nearly blew his mind. When we were putting his shoes back on a few hours later he looked at me like I was mad. My girl asked when she got in "do I have to go in everyday Mummy?". And I had to sadly* say "Yes, yes you do".

I worry that those wonderful friends I made whilst off with my children will now fade away due to lack of time in half terms, and I am anxious about making new 'Mum' friends. People who don't know about my love of Gary Barlow, that often I live off fruit pastilles and when I'm sarcastic I'm not meaning to be mean. I have to start. All. Over. Again.

My girl has coped with this change marvellously. She has loved going to pre-school and despite the only fact I have gleaned from her is that she wouldn't eat a carrot yesterday and that they have three toilets, I can see she is happy with her new little scheduled life. It's me that is totally falling apart. I now have to go and be a 'Mum' and read about the requirements for the Harvest Festival. I don't want to be making a food faux pas that could get a black mark against my name for the next seven years. Sob.

*By sadly I meant that Mum trait of saying things over enthusiastically when inside you are really sad.

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56 comments:

  1. I completely get you!! I have a year left before z starts proper school as his preschool is a bit play-school-y and that suits me fine. The whole structure thing scares me a bit and me mans I might have to chane my hours too probably. I haven't really thought about it...a bit in denial I think!

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    1. Oh god I was so in denial! It's the best way. My girls pre-school is like a school school which I was a bit shocked about. Maybe I should have kept her in nursery? Oh the sobs xxx

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  2. Lacey starts play school in the new year and then Pre K in September! Not looking forward to any of it! We where going to put her into play school this year but I just can't! Not yet.. E looks like she's having a blast! You'll be fine, you're proper ace! Top of the mums! You'll meet new mummy mates in no time!! xx

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    1. Ah thanks lovely bab. She is having a super time. It is me that is breaking! xxx

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  3. Brilliant brilliant brilliant post! I remember feeling like this when my little girl started school and then again when she changed school. In similar fashion it was Ellie, not me, who coped the best! lol I promise you'll get used to it all and I promise you'll make new mummy friends - everyone is doing the same thing so deep breath (and a packet of fruit pastels) will see you through! :-) Good luck.

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    1. Oh god thanks bab! You have given me hope it will all be ok. Sob sob sob xxx

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  4. I am totally dreading this with mine. I am no good with schedules anymore as my brain has gone to mush and the thought of having to be up, dressed and out the door by 8:30am fills me with dread. I often have thoughts of homeschooling but I know we'd spend the day watching telly instead.

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    1. Ha ha ha! I am a teacher and even I would end up watching tele all day! That made me smile xxx

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  5. Really interested to read this. Nursery doesn't seem to be anything like pre-school and I think September next year is going to be a massive shock (for me!) when Freyja starts school.

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    1. Oh no bab. My girls pre-school nursery was lovely and cute and they just played. This is hardcore! xxx

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  6. Oh bab! You'll have it down to a tee in no time. The hardest bit is defo getting the name labels ironed on straight, and I bet you've mastered that one beautifully! :) I totally know what you mean about feeling like a proper 'mum' though - I have a p5 now. P5!!! It'll be secondary school in two years - WEEP! Xxx

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  7. It does all change doesnt it! Jenson starts 'school' (preschool to you and I) on Thursday afternoon...every afternoon 12.15 until 3.15...he doent get lunch there and I don't drive which means I have to have all 3 little monsters fed AND dressed before 11.45 to make the 20 minute walk to school on time! As much as a big change for him as it will be me and then Evie and Elsie too :( Im off to write a blog post...(I've deleted about ooohh 3/4 of this so I dont bore you and cry..yep a cry will be good!

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    1. Oh will go and have a read later bab! The coming and going is hard with two let alone all your clan! Blimey. You're super Mum! xxx

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    2. SuperMum....Ahh cheers (I bloody wish!!!) Today was just weird..pasta for dinner at 10.55!!! weird...just weird!

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  8. its mental being, I quote 'a school run mum'. To get all the school stuff ready and actually get out the door on time yourself is a mission on its own. I have M at pre school and C at school (2 separate schools) and I work to! my head is fuzzy most nights trying to work out who needs what for the following day lol!

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    1. Two separate schools??? Oh God! You are amazing! I would weep! xxx

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  9. I love this post! As LP has just started preschool I can completely relate. Until now we have not really had a routine at all, just did what we felt like, when we felt like. But now?! Now we have to drop LP off at school and pick her up again. Proper grown up sh*t!! x

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    1. Proper proper grown up shizzle. Sob. I want to be back to the Mr Tumble days (never thought I would say that!) xxx

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  10. Bloody hell this is scary stuff!!! I never really considered how much your life would change when the kids start school, organisation is certainly not my strong point I'm gonna suck when Arthur starts!!!

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    1. At least you have yonks lovely lady so fear not! xxx

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  11. Lovely post! My eldest started senior school this term - and that me feel like a properly grown up Mum!! Number 3 started reception and I am also worried about starting afresh with 'new Mums' - many of whom are way younger than me! Interestingly her report back from first week at reception also involved carrots (she wouldn't eat hers as it wan't peeled #princess!) and toilets (they are tiny Mummy!)
    Enjoy this next phase.
    P.S. Surprised you're not Mom what with being Brummy and all that?!

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    1. Ha Ha on the Mom. I probably say Mom but then it seems people hate Mom for some reason? So I say Mum. And what's with all the carrots? Weirdos xxx

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  12. Thank you! I have been feeling this way all week. My son is totally into his school and new schedule. He loves it! He goes ever day mornings only (3 hours), so yeah we are out of the house all 3 of us before 8:30 which let's face it has never ever happened before and I have barely enough time to do anything before I need to be back picking him up. Besides the fact that husband totally doesn't get it! Oh well, glad I am not alone :-) Good luck getting used to all the new stuff!

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    1. That is exactly the same as us! The three hours is crazy. My poor boy has no idea what the hell is going on but at least they seem to be a bit tired at night! xxx

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  13. How many hours does she do? My little girl turned 3 at the very end of July and after going to an induction at a school near me and not liking it so much I'm taking her free education hours at a nursery where it's more relaxed and generally nicer than the school seemed. She does 3 afternoons a week. I'm feeling the panic about choosing a school for next year and feeling sad about her growing up too fast, way too fast. also if she was born a month later she'd have a whole other year without school and the scary mum stuff with playgroun pick ups. Making sure she's out the house early every single morning - I've often taken her to playgroups first thing but she's always had problems with sleeping so get us up and out every morning scares me a bit...but I'm wanting to go back to work soon so I better get used to it. I hate how quickly they grow up :( Love this post x

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    1. Glad you like it! She does 3 hours a day. She was in nursery which was far more relaxed and easy going but we kinda decided to put her in a school preschool for some reason but I can't remember why??? SOB xxx

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  14. I'm glad it's not me on my own who's freaking out about this routine business! Great post x

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  15. Get a fancy chalk board and put it right by the door and write everything on there. (Any excuse to buy a snazzy chalk board!)

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    1. YES! I saw one in the beaut shop by me! x

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  16. Huge change, isn't it? I still have to put alarms on my phone to make sure we get to school / pre-school on time and that I don't forget to pick up the kids (I did, once... long story). x

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    1. Oh god - I have a fear I will do that one day! x

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  17. She looks so chuffed with herself in that photo! It must be reassuring to know that she's taken to pre-school so well. It's such a huge change, but try and embrace it and enjoy it... that's what I keep telling myself anyway! xxx #brilliantblogposts

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    1. She was so so so happy bless her! I am trying to embrace it. Will be ok by half term x

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  18. I feel your pain! It is hard to get used to at first, but you will get there. My eldest is year 5 now so having Luka start school a couple of weeks ago was a lot easier for me practically. Emotionally, I am a wreck. But thats because I'm a mum :) x x

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    1. All mums are a wreck and I feel if I had been preggers when this had happened? I would have had a breakdown. I am a bad bad preggers lady. Really bad! x

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  19. This is me too! I've had to become so much more organised since F started last September. S starts in the New Year, and what will really blow my mind (and pisses me off!), is that as well as taking Freddie in on his days and times (2 and a half days), S is only allowed to do half days until she's 3, meaning 3 chuffing trips a day back and forth to bloody preschool from January through to May!!! Will be a nightmare! Friday is our sanctuary, a day where we have no schedule and no plans, tis brilliant and I really appreciate it now! x

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    1. URGH! Oh bet Friday is the dream. No plans is amazing. I love weekends like today where we can just kinda do what we like to do x

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  20. HOW CUTE IS SHE?? Hope the first few days are going well. I had a similar 'omg I am a mum' moment last week. I have them quite a lot. It is all very weird ha!

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    1. So cute! It is weird. Like we are actual like proper grown ups. Urgh! x

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  21. Good post. I guess the thing with kids is that everything is changing and evolving. Just when you get used to the idea of a newborn, they begin to interact more, just when you get used to that they start to crawl, then walk, then go to preschool etc. At least the realisation has hit you before you forget the lunch money or forget to pick them up :)

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    1. Yes! That is a good point. I would have looked like bad Mum then! Let's hope I manage to keep on top of everything. Sob x

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  22. Ah what a gorgeous post. I still think I'm in denial about being a 'proper mum' and we are 14 years in! Seriously, some of us never grow up and that's ok. Your girlie looks so cute and I'm sure you'll make lots of lovely new friends but don't forget your old ones, the ones that were there through the sleepless nights and explosive nappies - they're the ones who know you best and love you for it x x

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    1. Defo - friends who visited my post c section and I looked a loon. They are the true friends who see you with leaky boobs and tearful eyes. Glad you liked it x

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  23. Oh I love that photo - she looks so cute. I can totally get where you are coming from, though. Monkey has also started a new nursery attached to his school and we had to go to a wine and cheese new parents evening last night. I mean it was a real hardship quaffing 3 glasses of wine... but I keep getting slips of paper from the teachers telling me about term dates and events. I can't keep up and it's only been 2 weeks and he's not even started school proper! You're going to be great though, and I'm sure you'll be making lots of new pals, especially if you're handing out fruit pastilles xx #PoCoLo

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    1. Oh wine and cheese evening sounds amazing! I am a bit jel. Will defo be handing out those sweets! x

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  24. Sobbing with you, but how cute is she in that little uniform??
    Fingers crossed you'll get to half term and it'll feel like you've always been like that xx

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    1. Oh god I hope so. I am allowing myself to be a bit bonkers till half term. Then? NO MORE! x

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  25. I can never believe that I am someones ACTUAL mum! Yikes! So strange, but starting school! I am glad I have got another years to prepare myself for that one! x #BrillBlogPosts

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    1. Yes have a beaut year having lots of fun and doing many brill things x

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  26. I still get to grips that I am a mum, but its even worse as my first baby, my first born is in Yr11!! Half term isn't far away and you'll be able to have a break and go back to being crap and disorganised like the majority of us :). Ps- she is utterly adorable and looks so happy x

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    1. She was! Year 11??? EEK! You look so young though bab. Bet all the other Mothers are well jel x

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  27. aww bless you, must be a hell of a change, suddenly having to worry about arranging things at weekends, having specific clothes cleaned by certain days, stuff like that I haven't even thought about having to organise yet! Thankfully I have a bit more time until then! She looks gorgeous in our uniform, such a cutie shot :) xx#pocolo

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  28. I regularly think this to myself! Even after 7 years of being a Mum. I still can't believe I am a grown-up either!! I regularly have minor panics about missing something on the school newsletter! Great post and so very true. Thanks for linking to PoCoLo :) X

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  29. Yes a million times over, felt this and more over the last few weeks, why, why, why *wail I want to be 16 again! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x Bloody loved this and it made me lol too x

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