Wednesday, 8 October 2014

How NOT to do a wet school run

Today was the first time it rained on my girl's pre-school run. And to be honest? I wasn't ready. I am a rooky. It beat me. It made me crumble, have a little weep and taught me some valuable life lessons which I will share with you now. Ignore them at your peril...

1) When it looks like it is going to be sunny at 8am. Don't forget that the British weather is a total arsehole that can change into horrific storm like weather without you noticing (you may have been distracted by Twitter).

2) Do not aim to leave the house at 8:38am when you need to walk there by 8:45am. A ten minute journey is NEVER going to be done in seven minutes unless you are Marty McFly.

3) Try not to lose the rain cover for the buggy. Even though at one point you thought "As if I am ever going to need that under the buggy, I want to fill it with crap I have brought from Poundland". You will need it. This my friends is a promise.

4) Be warned that when you don't have a rain cover on the buggy. People will look at you like you are an evil parent who wishes their baby boy to get soaked. Like you actively encouraged the rain. Just to torment him.

5) If as you put your 'Mum' coat on you think to yourself "Oh now, I'm not actually sure this is waterproof?". You are right. It is in no way shape or form waterproof. In fact it appears to be some weird water soaking in garment. Much like a coat made of really posh and clever kitchen roll.

See how happy I am.


6) The boots you brought three years ago which still do the job in the gorgeous fresh, frosty, Autumn air are totally SH*T in the pouring down rain #hole.

7) Kids are utter maniacs and love rain. Your ten minute journey that needs to be done in seven minutes now is taking fifteen minutes. Remember the golden rule. The more you shout "Hurry UP!" the slower they go.

8) Peppa Pig loves muddy puddles. So your children love muddle puddles (if she started eating turds one worries what the next new food craze would be). Brand new rip off shiny flashing Clarks shoes? Do not love muddy puddles.

9) Other non buggy people have the worlds biggest brollys. They enjoy ramming them into your sodden, make up smeared, sad face. Whilst rushing past and saying "Sooorrrrry!" as they smugly look down at their snazzy, dry and trendy coat.

10) The rain will stop. The minute you get home.

New brolly brought...and of course? IT STOPPED RUDDY RAINING!!!!!

This afternoon we are going out to get my girl a new brolly, me a really nice (this is not possible) waterproof coat and I am going to hunt out the buggy cover. And you know what? It will start to snow in the morning and then? Well we really will be screwed.

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51 comments:

  1. I swear to god after a year of school runs IT ALWAYS STARTS AT 3PM. And then stops at 3.30. Without fail.

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    1. That happened today. CURSE YOU WEATHER! x

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  2. See, we have a car. BUT I refuse to use it on the school run because when MIL has the kids she won't be using a car and so it's unfair of us to use the car in the rain. Instead this post IS MY LIFE!!!! x

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    1. You are good. I would ruddy use that car in a heart beat x

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  3. Oh man... You did make me chuckle though. My journey this morning was awful too. What should have taken 25 mins to drop Sprog off at my mums and get to work, took me 1 hour and 10 mins! I was super late for late...can't lecture any kids about punctuality this week!

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    1. Ha ha! I hate that panic when you know you are going to be late. Urgh x

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  4. We did our first wet school run this week - hated it! Not helped by the fact that Little Man will not keep his rain cover on and shouts and kicks it off. Yep, I look like an evil parent then, too! xx

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  5. The curse of the rain at school run time!! Why is it the kids think thats it totally hilarious and fantastic that its chucking it down and dawdle??? Pack it in and just get home! xx

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    1. We just have the hilarious muddy puddle scenario over and over again x

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  6. I admit it, I'm an evil carbon footprint imprinting person and I drive to school! (To be fair though, I have to get myself to work ten miles away straight after on at least one of my three drop off days). I learned my lesson on the waterproofing front long ago though - never accept any material other than pure, handbred Gortex! Sod fashion! :-) X

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    1. I have now opted for the ugliest coat known to mad. But it keeps me dry! x

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  7. I have a non waterproof waterproof!! What is the point in them??? Ruddy fashion pah!

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  8. I am off to buy a proper waterproof (stormproof with taped seams type) coat tomorrow as my Monday pre-school run was just like yours today!

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    1. I now have a very ugly coat. It is a mans x

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  9. In exactly the same boat. To do list this week: buy buggy rain cover (why don't I have one of these already?!), buy everyone a rain coat that actually stops rain, buy everyone wellies, leave earlier. I think maybe it's a coping mechanism but every year I blank on the fact that this rain will come in October and not go till April at the earliest - ugh.

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  10. So funny I got caught the other day in it maisy had her umbrella but almost took off a few time, I was trying to keep her on the ground, push the push chair, keep my hood up and entertain screaming toddler who hates the rain cover fun times!

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    1. I have been there lovely. I have been there! Stupid child brollies x

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  11. Heheheeee I'm also imagining rainbows and tweeting birds and deer all to pop out as soon as you get home too. It would take me more than 10 minutes just to get Z into his car seat!! :D

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  12. Oh this made me chuckle muchly. I am learning most of my shoes offer no form of protection from the wet!! Even as I write this I am realising I have no idea where our buggy rain cover is either!!! Arghh xx

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  13. I LOVE this hun, I haven't yet got to the torturous stage which is the school run. I would say I will remember your tips, but I will probably be rocking back and forth in a corner by then! Big hugs you clever lady xx #BrillBlogPosts

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  14. Even in your angry photo, you kinda look a bit sultry... On your said horrific wet school run, I decided to wear brown suede loafers... yep I am stooopid.

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    1. Sigh. Loafers are so nice as well. Stupid rain x

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  15. This is so funny.

    I've only ever gone out without taking the buggy raincover a few times but, yep you guessed it, it rained every f**king time!

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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    1. Course it did! It is the law of sod x

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  16. Don't forget to buy boots for you too (#hole, remember?) xx

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    1. I've got the ugly boots do not worry! x

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  17. Seriously, if you EVER find a nice waterproof raincoat, please do share - mine is sad as! Then again, I'm beyond the age of 40 so allowed to look like a complete tool in the name of staying dry!

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    1. We need to do dragons den with raincoats. We shall make our fortune! x

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  18. Oh man I am.not looking forward to these days! Aaaargh! Xx.#brilliantblogposts

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  19. Urgh, rain and wind - such a crappy combination! The 'mum-coat' is an essential for the school run. Prepare thyself to see every mum at the gate in the one identical coat that is actually waterproof (I speak from experience!!) :) xx

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  20. So so true, all of it!! My heart takes a dive when it is pouring...just makes it all so much more difficult!! I am now the proud owner of a super duper extra large hooded waterproof coat sooo ugly but sooo practical! X

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    1. I to am now the proud owner of an equally horrible coat. SOB! Why don't they make pretty ones??? x

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  21. Oh hon that is absolutely hilarious, so pleased you can see the funny side! Why does it always stop pissing down five mins after walking through the door though? Mother Nature is a cruel cold hearted cow sometimes isn't she! Fortunately my 5yo goes to school with one of my neighbours and I will be eternally grateful to them for saving me this hideousness xxx #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Nature is EVIL! And you are so so lucky! I need to get me a pre-school Mum friend! x

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  22. You are making me scared of what I have to face in years to come. Ok, coat, leave lots of time, umbrella and boots. I'm definitely not ready to graduate to the school run stage yet...will stick to practicing our walking quickly and being on time skills for playgroup! x

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    1. No steer clear from these days an enjoy the fact that you can sack off playgroup if it's raining! x

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  23. Haha good post. We're continually forgetting the pram's rainproof cover! Love the fact that "the British weather is a total arsehole"

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  24. I've been walking to school in all weathers for a few years now but I still forget something each day! Mornings are ok it's nursery runs that take me forever with the boy who loves to dawdle like anything! It takes us 35/45 mins to do a 20/25 min school run! Xxx

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    1. Why are children so slow??? GRRRRRRRRRRR x

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  25. I have spent the day walking in the rain - school run, shopping, getting locked out, another school run, picking up from tutor... I've been out more than I've been in. But I've learned from past mistakes - I do waterproof coat, trousers AND hood up. I don't care what anyone thinks!

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  26. Bloody hilarious and so true, this was (ALL) me yesterday, I'm moving to LA or you know just going to take my brolly next time! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

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  27. Oh hilarious!! So true and totally me on the school run, it's been horrendous here in Northern Ireland this week. I totally need the space under the buggy for all my Poundland tat!!!!

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  28. Love this post sooo true!! We have a 5 minute walk to the school bus pick up point, this morning it took 15 minutes and then to top it off the bus was 15 minutes late! On the topic of the buggy cover, why do they never seem to fit the buggy?

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