Sunday, 19 October 2014

My Life: The Insta-Sham

This is not a post getting all up in instagram's grill and saying "I hate you". Please understand I ruddy love Instagram. I can often be heard saying "life looks better in lo-fi". And the way that sierra makes me look ten years younger? Tis the actual dream. But let's be honest. Life? Is not like our instagram feed. On mine you will see the cracks with the odd tantruming boy or weeping girl. And occasionally I post a messy room or a grumpy face. But generally? My life on Instagram. Is a sham. An..Insta-Sham! (see what I did there?)

So here it is - my life. The perfect lo-fi, brightened, sharpened, staged version v the well real #nofilter version. And in this version. There is no filter. Not like when you say #nofilter but you still have a filter. Or when you say you have no make up on. But you on have tinted moisturiser. That is still make up people!

See my beautiful playroom. See the gorgeous chair and notice I have only focused on the teeny tiny bit of a playroom that isn't an UTTER MESSY SH*THOLE! Ahh and below it. The yummy, healthy, gorgeous pizza insinuating to the world that a) I may have made it myself (oh the lols) or b) we eat out happily alllllllll the time. We don't. We eat waffles, or mashtags if feeling a bit special, more than reasonable for the average human.


See my happy, cheery toddlers cuddling and just being the best of friends. Verses the reality of the fact that 99.9% of the time? My son hates his sister. He runs from her. She mauls him and then they scream. Loudly. And then below it. The held very high shot that is so thinning, stood beneath the brightest light in the house with a full face of make up and a sparkly cardy. Compared to the sitting on the couch in my dressing gown shot. Which I do. The 23 hrs I'm not in make up taking a very high held selfie.

This is just a small look into my real life. My plan was to show more. But you know what? I appear to have deleted any trace of the grubby side of parenting off my phone. All is left is the kids running through lavender fields or me cuddling happy, smiley kids. Sometimes we look bright and colourful. And other times we look young and shiny. And you know what. When I'm old and I look back it's reassuring that these Insta-shams are the pictures that will remind me of being a Mum. And I will think to myself "Oh what a ruddy gorgeous life I've led".

You can't see the bees. You can't hear the screams. You don't know the bribes. Fine. By. Me.

Now go and follow me on Instagram and see the Insta-shams (so proud of that one) for yourself!

27 comments:

  1. I never show the rubbish bits (well, actually sometimes I do), but mostly it's the pretty things. Much easier in Summer.

    I remember my mum saying I was lying by omission by not telling her things and avoiding the subject...I think of my instagram in the same way - not going to stop me having as pretty as possible an instagram feed though

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  2. Brill post - you look fabbo on your sofa! I wear moisturiser "with a hint of foundation" - is that cheating? :) xx

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  3. Fabulous post, I LOVE it! It was so great to meet you lovely lady x

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  4. Haha! I LOVE this! 9/10 my Instagram shows the BEST bits for sure. I love it too. Obsessed. But yes: without a background of red foliage and in late afternoon Autumn sun, I look more knackered & pale then rosy glow ;-)

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  5. Awesome post - loving the honesty of #nofilter on here! Right I'm off to take a photo of an extremely small (but perfectly staged) section of my kitchen! X

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  6. Ha ha so true! Love this post. I too love instagram but come away thinking everyones lives are so much prettier and better than mine! ;) x

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  7. Hee hee fab post Em! So true. Although tbh i find the real life posts as more popular so i much prefer them! x

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  8. This is so funny. Mashtags ftw!!!

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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  9. hahaha!! This is so funny but so true.....Fantastic post x

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  10. Great post!! Instagram has a knack for showing the rose tinted versions of life. I think that's why we all love it so much! x

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  11. Instasham! Great word! Such an entertaining post. You need to do one about Pinterest next!

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  12. Love this! I think we all do this to a certain extent with Insta-sham (I'm stealing your word now!), but I rarely use filters. Mashtags look nice, may have to invest in a pack. Y'know, for the kids. For a treat. Not to eat every day. Because they don't eat waffles every day. No. Not at all.

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  13. If only I could crop the crap out of real life....!!!

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  14. Haha - yet you still look pretty. Are you sure you are not wearing tinted foundation! I am hopeless on Insta-sham for all these reasons. No where to hide! xx

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  15. You are a total stunner with or without makeup! :) This post really made me chortle Em. I wish real life looked like it does on Insta-sham! I agree though - i reckon the IG memories I've preserved will make me feel pretty good about these years when I am old and grey. Who needs reality anyway?!! ;) xx

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  16. Haha, love this post! It's so true and so me! My Instagram is all the best bits of....... And will remain so too! :-D

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  17. Fab post - I absolutely love instagram!

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  18. Ha this had made me chortle but agree, I definitely put the best bits on there and definitely only manicured nails ;) xx

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  19. When I say #nofilter I mean it... Really REALLY! xxxx

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  20. Oh I love this. I'm all about the Instasham - the cropping that goes on here is shameful! Love Instagram though - living in a bubble is epic!

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  21. I really like the photo of you on the sofa. I actually think you look lovelier in it than in the made-up selfie!

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  22. Hehe great post!! I love trying to angle the camera to only capture the best bits/avoid the crap that needs tidying =D

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  23. I've given up on Instagram. I am shockingly bad at taking photos and even why I try my best they still don't give off the impression that I've got everything under control! There's usually a blurred arm, a rogue dirty nappy or a pile of ironing in the background no matter what. x

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  24. Hahaha - I like this. I tend not to add
    Real photos too. Real photos would involve a lot of toys all over the floor, in every room of the house!

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  25. Heheheeee I am in love with your real reality shots I think. And I now want some mashtags!

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