Tuesday, 18 November 2014

The Lost Art of Conversation

There was a time when I used to, you know, like to talk to my other half? About actual stuff. I remember nights where we would chat for hours on the phone about everything from religion, to who we thought would win Big Brother 3, to politics. OK. We never talked about politics but let me have my dreamy remembering scene.

Now? We don't talk. And if we do talk? It's about washing or conjunctivitis or him not letting me have a guinea pig (curse you man!). Our discussions are about school places and our idle chatter is about whose turn it is to go and watch the girl do her swimming lesson at stupid o'clock on a Sunday morning. Is it just me? Please tell me that this is normal? That conversation just kinda stops as one gets older or busier or just plain tireder.  Our communication now comes in the following ways: 

The Gritted Teeth
You know when one of you has made the other SO cross but the kids are there and you need to maintain the illusion that you're not cross for fear of f*cking them up forever. Through gritted teeth you say "nope it's fine. No you're right you did take the washing out of the machine last time. No you're not P.I.S.S.I.N.G (spelt so tiny ears don't hear) me off at all". Only to be met half hour later with your 3 year old spelling pissing to your 1 year old 20 minutes later. A proud parenting moment. Ahem. 


The Text
Ah the joys of text. Who needs talking when one can communicate to your other half through the means of 'the text'. A sad emoticon here or worse an angry one if something proper has gone wrong. Or the "please could you get me some milk coz I forgot" winky emoticon. Texts also can be used to grab that one spare minute a day to show your true feelings which may include love but more often than not spell words far worse than pissing. 

The Serious Decision Chat
"Now we really must talk about getting the kids a bunk bed. Thoughts?" other half rolls eyes and continues to play candy crush. "It's time we took your car in for an MOT. Thoughts?" I roll my eyes and continue to furiously tweet strangers who I fancy most in Made in Chelsea (Stevie). Decisions made alone. With the inevitable angry text sent when they are wrong. If you're reading this hub? I'm opting for pink bunk beds. Screw you for your lack of interest. 

The Date Night Dialect
You made it out! You make a rule to not talk about the children and talk about other hot topics. Mmmmm like war n sh*t. Then you remember you know NOTHING about what's going on in the world today so resort to showing each other funny photos of the kids and mega lolling about when the girl spelt pissing to her brother. Whilst making a vow never to do this again. You leave early. Back in bed for nine and your only chat then is "what shall we watch on Netflix"? 

The Birthday Card
Ah the joy of the birthday card. I find this is the one time of the year I can guarantee on a bit of the old fashioned romance. We both try to make an effort to remember why the hell we married each other all those years ago. What was it we saw in each other before the lack of sleep and approaching our late 30's yuckness arrived. Same with anniversary cards. These little words I treasure. And whilst this is a conversation that only has two small paragraphs to each other every year. It means the world to me. 

And almost never contains the word pissing. 

Come on people! How do you keep the conversation flowing? 
In between reality TV and candy crush what do you talk about? 
There's got to be more to life than conjunctivitis and bunk beds???

27 comments:

  1. I have no answers....except: that what you say is SO true that it's scared me into wanting to have an only child! Seriously...I love my daughter but I want to have some time with my husband too. After all I did choose him through free will. Really, I find one just managable: nice on a good day, doable on a bad one. I dream of retirement age... Sorry, I realize this wasn't very helpful. Love the topic!

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    1. Ha ha! Not really that helpful but it made me smile! I enjoyed the word doable for some reason x

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  2. These days our conversations about whether to let Shannon stay out till 11 and whether we've screwed her up so badly, shell fail her GCSEs!!!!! As they've got older it's easier to have conversations about stuff other than MOTs and who does the ironing. But spelling out swear words doesnt work and the daft innuendos never work, as they all get it!
    Texting works best...as long as no-one else reads them (yes this happens in our house)

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    1. Oh god I would hate it when they start reading our texts. I need to start communicating with notes attached to the dog x

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  3. This is all too true. We can not get a word in edge-ways with our lot!!! Texting is best. Dirty texting....maybe... . :) xxx

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    1. You're a dirty cow you are. That's kinda why I love ya! x

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  4. Yep all too true bab! We just sit on our respective laptops all night occasionally hissing at each other ;) x

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  5. It's a tough one! I think we're all in the same boat here. Our longest conversations are on the phone as my hubby works such long days. Every week we have the conversation about who has got an away game and who has got training at home and that's about it!

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    1. It's crap isn't it! We always have a conversation about the swimming lesson. Bah x

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  6. Yep, so true. Hubby and I used to watch TV and chat about what was on it, topics it brought up or life the universe and everything. Now, we watch TV, me on my laptop, Hubby on the tablet and occasionally grunting at each other! x

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    1. I am blogging, he's watching the villa on his phone. Happy days. Sob x

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  7. Nope. It's all conjunctivitis and bunk beds over here too. Or no chat at all while we both sit on our laptops! It's a wonder we're still together really!! And then we start to actually have a convo at about 11.27 when we really should be in bed

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  8. Pressed publish too soon! Brilliant post Em love xxx

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    1. Thanks beaut! And god you stay up late! It's nine here! x

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  9. I'm actually with Kerrie on this. Texting takes on a whole new level when you have teens in the house. That's our "us time" now... ;)

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    1. Texting is us time? WHAT HAVE WE BECOME! x

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  10. If I am truly annoyed I like to bash shoulders as I pass mine to really convey the message in a passive aggressive way. I am obvs not childish and if he ever sees this I will deny it ;)

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    1. Fab post, and this comment has really made me laugh Alison. Oh how I hate my churlishness sometimes!!

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    2. I do the odd door slam and a stroppy putting the milk back in the fridge whilst dropping a c bomb. I am such a lady x

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  11. Brilliant Post! It's so hard to think of other hot topics sometimes, I look forward to me and my husband spending time together, but I have to be honest the kids always come up in the conversation. God, when we first met we sat in the car all night long talking until we pretty much had to go to work again the next morning (I must try to get that back). Thanks for the amazing post again, it's really made me smile at least there are others similar ha! Rachel X

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    1. Ah glad you enjoyed it! I loved those nights where you would just talk and talk and talk. SOB! x

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  12. So true. Although in our house, we don't really go to town on birthdays, and definitely not on anniversaries now.

    Mine definitely doesn't do discussions about decisions. Just says no. I tried to discuss getting N a cabin bed to improve storage...why? Then storage for downstairs 'don't need it', when we do.

    The other day I was astounded he actually sent me a text (he's not really done that since we were going out because he usually has to get me to text on his phone!)...to forward on another person's text invite out for a meal at their house. I got confused....my OH asking me for a meal at our house, when he was sitting in the same room. Arghhh. He doesn't usually talk at all while I'd never shut up given half the chance. Probably why he doesn't

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    1. The text convo really really made me laugh! My hub is super quiet as well and I can talk for England. A double date with us would be fun. Get rid of them! x

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  13. God I hate myself for the fact we do the 'date night' chat about kids. I'm not even getting pissed at the moment to be able to perk the convo up *eyes up the Shiraz* I think when you have kids, the trouble is by the time you've got the little beggers into bed, you have nothing left to give, and that includes decent conversation. Hoping this is a short-lived phase!

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    1. And me lovely. I want everything to be NORMAL! And my boobs to be pert again. These things are never going to happen x

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  14. This is also happening with my 14 year old! He texts me from his bedroom " can I have food". And I text him to turn his music down . Whatever happened to actually walking up and down stairs to have face to face real convo's? Xx

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