Wednesday, 3 December 2014

A birthday morning fit for a Mum...

1) you are awoken by your youngest at 4:37am who has rudely forgotten that it's your birthday and that you may (do) have a sore head from four gins last night #lightweight


2) your daughter awakes at 5:26am. You run in and expect a full rendition of "Happy Birthday deaaaaarrrrrr Mummy". Instead what you get is a weird game of eye spy that involves an egg. 

3) you get led into the playroom to open your presents. You're excited! You realise quite quickly you don't actually get to open your own presents.

It's before 6am. It's so dark. Here are your presents we plan to open!

4) your children open your presents. Or. Tell you what each present is eg "this is another pair of slippers". 

5) your one lovely box of chocolates are opened. To shove in your children's mouths to stop them ruining each surprise.

6) your presents include two pairs of slippers, two sets of pyjamas, eight pairs of socks, smellies and seven candles. Worryingly you are over the moon at such an array of predictable 'Mum' gifts. You're just a bit sad you got no new pants. 

We ain't look at no camera for a nice picture. The dog however will.

7) your husband gives you the greatest gift of all. Better than Chanel, better than diamonds. He says he will do the school run and gives you the gift of time!!!!!

8) what to do with this time? Of course you light one of your new Yankee Candles. Pop open some smellies and get in a bath! For some this is normal. For the common Mum? A fooking luxury. There is Buck's Fizz involved. You feel all squiffy and decide you love your husband immensely (ignoring the screams and howls and fighting downstairs). YOU SHAVE YOUR ACTUAL LEGS! You consider you bikini line. But hey it's not Christmas yet!

9) bath done. And you embrace the joy that is new jazzy socks and... Brand. New. Slippers!!!!! They aren't smelly. They aren't a bit stained. And for the next 14 minutes at least they won't have a raisin stuck to the sole. 

BIRTHDAY TREATS FIT FOR A QUEEN!

10) it's 9am. Birthday over. Husband at work. Back in charge of the children. Soft play and ice cream this afternoon. You will throw yourself into the germ ridden ball pool wearing your giant comedy Birthday Girl badge. Thinking "when I was 21 I may have been given Burberry and have been hungover for a week but in this ball pool, with these two maniacs and a nice pair of comedy socks on? Life couldn't get much frickin better". 

Happy 37th Birthday Me! 

Hand delivered by a little girl and evidently says "I love you Mummy" screw you Chanel. 
This is much better.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

22 comments:

  1. Happy birthday, 20 parenting years in, and I can tell you it only gets better and better. Hope you have a lovely raisin free day.

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  2. Awww what a lovely and yet funny birthday post. Happy Birthday hon, here's hoping your day continues to be as wonderful and special as you are!xx

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  3. Happy Birthday! Fingers crossed the ball pit doesn't give you the gift of soft play lurgy!

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  4. Happy Birthday! Glad to hear your husband did the school run! You must be bloody exhausted though! Hope you get some sleep tonight and hope you'vbe had a lovely day! xx

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  5. Ah this is lovely, what I wouldn't give for a morning bubble bath with some Bucks Fizz to accompany it. Bliss! You got quite a haul there girl! Better than any birthday loot I've ever received anyway! Hope you have a great day x x

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  6. Happy Birthday Em!!!! Treat yourself to an extra large gin to celebrate surviving the ball pit xxx

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  7. Aww happy birthday. It sounds like you had an almost perfect day ;-) x

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  8. Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuu!!!! And looking forward to some Christmas vlogs!! x

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  9. I ADORE this. This is every mummy birthday. I loved "The gift of time" amazing. xxx

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  10. Aw happy birthday to you. Sounds just like my birthday a couple of weeks ago :D

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  11. Happy Birthday!!! V. funny post x

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  12. Belated happy birthday Bab!!!
    Love how kids tell you what things are before THEY open them! Haha.
    xxx

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  13. That haul is WHOPPING! I got chocolates (and a belated night away apparently). You don't look a day of 27 bab ;-) x

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  14. Happy Birthday! Sounds pretty perfect to me :) What a fantastic haul of presents, and a bath?! Luxury :)

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  15. Ahhh this is so sweet bab! Lovely presents, lovely faces :) Glad you had a fab day xxx

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  16. Happy Birthday! This made me laugh, especially points 7,8 and 10. The gift of time is indeed priceless and the best gift ever! Well done your hubby! :-) x

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  17. I LOVE this post hun! Happy birthday! xx #BrillBlogPosts

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  18. Lol sounds like a perfect Mummy birthday to me, that bath sounds amazing! The 4.37am start slightly less so :) loving the haul of pressies too! Xx #brilliantblogposts

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  19. Happy birthday! What a funny post! And you truly made me feel pretty jealous...that bath!!! you don't want to know how my b'day was like this year! ;) xx #brillblogposts

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  20. Love this, perfect birthday to me, you rock lady, Happy Birthday! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

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