Tuesday, 16 December 2014

The Ghost of Christmas Past...

Do you remember a time before the elf of the shelf? Before 'The Elsa Dress' was on every little girls present list? Before gifts were wrapped in shabby chic brown paper and tied with string? And before Pinterest made our table displays look worthy of Home Interiors magazines? Do you my friend remember when Christmas Day...was just a bit well crap?

Not crap as in crap, crap.  No believe you me my Christmas day memories are some of the happiest times in my life. Crap as in it was a bit haphazard and simple and just well a lovely kinda crap. So here are the things I will miss most about Christmas now we are all modern and sh*t.

Decorations
Ah the joy of non child friendly decorations. Bright glass baubles that were used year on year on year. From Woolworths no doubt. They precariously hung there waiting to drop and smash. Maybe on a child's face. The tinsel that was a bit threadbare and I don't really remember any other colours existing bar silver. Maybe a gold? That was it. I think Paperchase now model a lot of their decos on the tat that was around in the 80s. Which shows how ruddy fab it was.

Picture From RetroWow.

Presents
I ask the kids I teach to describe their best Christmas and it always inevitably involves an Iphone and tablet. For us? ALL WE WANTED WAS A NICE BIG BIKE! YES! Remember? Just a bloody good big bike. That your parents would have lovingly put spokey dokeys on. Or a Barbie set. Or an action man. Mmmmm that was it? Also presents came in sacks. Some may say "well that sack looks like a bin bag but with Father Christmas's face on it". And they would be right.

Picture From Cyclelifestyle
Music
Snore. Off. X. Factor. The Christmas number 1 was like a proper massive deal! I used to tune into the Top 40 ready and waiting to find out what beauty it would be, with tape recorder ready and poised. And you know why people loved being Number 1? As they got to sing the song on Christmas Day TOTP. Yes I am aware this is still on, and now has the added bonus of pressing the red button so you could sing along. Which would have BLOWN MY MIND in 1987. But I will be honest I would rather see Bros singing Silent Night than some random youths twerking to crunk music. Or whatever it's called.

Picture From Christmas Melodies
Food
Breakfast? Was a selection box. Morning snack? Was a selection box. A turkey dinner hastily shoved down your gob in time for TOTP and then the rest of the afternoon? You finished off your selection box. There was non of this two selection boxes for £1.50 sh*te. No. It was like a proper present that would be wrapped up and enjoyed. Much like your Mother would enjoy the treat of Milk Tray.

Picture From Pinterest
TV
The presents were ace. The food was ace. The music was ace and the decorations? Well they were a little tiny bit dangerous but the TV? THE BEST IN THE WORLD! TV didn't really start gearing up until about 9am-ish where you would have Noel Edmond's Christmas Presents on. I remember weeping a little bit but trying to hold it all together whilst looking at my new walkman. Then you would sit down and talk through the whole of the Queens speech. Next? The BIG film. Now as there were only four channels. You generally had a choice of two. Gremlins maybe? Or ET. And then on the evening? The country was united in the love that was The Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special. Or you may have spent your whole day riding around playing out on your new bike. Either way? It was fab.

Picture From The Guardian

That pretty much summed up my best Christmas Days. Your's may well have been different? Or may have been the same. But I can promise you one thing. All of us collectively together will remember...the year Mr Blobby got to Christmas Number 1! Hilarious.

Picture From Georges Journal
This picture serves no actual purpose bar the fact it made me howl with laughter!

62 comments:

  1. Ha ha, love this! That's summed up the 1980s Christmas perfectly. I'm not sure ours is all that different now - we definitely do Christmas TOTP (although that's mainly just me, the kids aren't really interested!).
    Love the pic of Kylie :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Christmas TOTP! It is the very best! x

      Delete
  2. Yep - I'm channeling 80s Christmas with my shite tree and lame presents. That's it, I'm being ironic! So am in fact bang on trend? I wonder if our kids will mock all the homemade efforts around when they were kids and talk about how Christmas was full of tat and a twatty elf? Ps this is how I remember Kylie. When I was in the Kylie Minogue fan club. YES.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope my kids mock me as mocking means really? They ruddy loved it bab! x

      Delete
  3. YES!!!! This flipping amazing Em. My childhood right there xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh I love this! You've taken me on a joyful trip down memory lane this year. We loved Christmas like this, so maybe my kids would too.... or probably not. I LOVE Kylie too. That's the best photo I've seen all month. XX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it may be one of my favourite films I have seen ever! x

      Delete
  5. hahahah! This is brilliant!
    Mr Blobby! Oh my! I used to love him....lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh these are my memories too! Christmas lunch eaten off really naff 80s 'best' china, Mum getting some Coty perfume (I've bought her some this year in fact, she still loves it haha!) and a new static polyester dress for the big day. PS I LOVE CHRISTMAS KYLIE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think Christmas Kylie may well be compulsory now every year x

      Delete
  7. The simple old Christmas day that was a bit erm boring once the pressies were ripped open haha. I loved Top of the Pops and waiting for the Christmas Number 1 - blinkin x-factor xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Christmas was never boring it was ace! Well I did just sleep every afternoon in front of the tele! x

      Delete
  8. Did we grow up in the same house? Your memories are very similar to mine. Mr Blobby was ace! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't beat a bit of bloody blobby! x

      Delete
  9. Fabulous memories of Christmas 1980s style. I always loved to watch TOTP and remember getting presents in a sack. I was always allowed to drink sherry on Christmas Eve... I think mum thought this might help me sleep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I might try that one (I WON'T DON'T CALL SOCIAL SERVICES!) x

      Delete
  10. Love this Em! My childhood right there. I had that very selection box! Yummmmm!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you can't beat a nice selection box bab! x

      Delete
  11. Yep - elsewhere in Brum I was doing EXACTLY the same! Happy Christmas! xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. YES....YES...YESSS!!!! This has made me yelp like nicole sherzizizizingagaga on the blummin shampoo advert! LOVE IT! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha! that really made me laugh bab! x

      Delete
  13. I had Mr Blobby's Christmas album, oh yes I did! AND I had a whole tree of cotton covered baubles and foil decoration things like lanterns and stars that hung from the ceiling if you have any idea what I'm talking about. AND garlands. Foil garlands. Oh yeah! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmm yeah obvs I know what you are talking about. They were a proper big deal them foil things x

      Delete
  14. Hahahaha OH Myr Blobby, I used to love him :) That selection pack made me laugh and I totally had spokes on my bike!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They were the best bike accessories ever! x

      Delete
  15. Lucas says - Oh dear....... The Mother's have gone all misty eyed whilst reading this. I think they need a Christmas tipple to sort themselves out. They did say that they loved reading this and I can confirm that they were giggling like mad when they were reading.......... #sharewithme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really love the word tipple. It reminds me of something that may have cropped up in Smash Hits in 1989! x

      Delete
  16. What an awesome post. This was exactly like my Christmas when I was younger. We had our presents in a pillow case and got brought a fold-up bike which did actually fold up on me when I first rode it!!! Christmas TV rocked!!! #sharewithme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A fold up bike! Brilliant! Oh bet it was such an exciting present! x

      Delete
  17. Oh yes, this is what Christmas is all about! Takes me back, so many fond memories :-) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh bab bet we had such similar Christmas experiences! x

      Delete
  18. Bahah taken me right back and look at Kylie, love that, that was a bonus pic! Why were there polos in a selection box, madness. I miss the 80's! #sharewithme x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha! Polos in a selection box? What a crappy pack that was! x

      Delete
  19. Oh the 80's!! Good times!! :) Mr Blobby just made me giggle there - I was a bit of a Noël Edmonds House Party fan. His Christmas specials were the stuff of festive dreams! And yes to the tinsel! We also put cotton wool balls along all our pictures (snow) and had a really dodgy / vaguely slutty fairy at the top of the tree. 'Twas pure joy! Hilarious Em xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we had such a crap fairy! I can still see her now! Oh I may try and dig that out at my rents house you know x

      Delete
  20. Ahhhh! The Christmas number one, and the only fools and horses special! You've made me v nostalgic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you would think to yourself this year they will become millionaires! x

      Delete
  21. You've just conjured up some fab Xmas memories here lovely. No 1 was such a big deal, and yes selection boxes were real pressies. Awesome post xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They always used to come from an Auntie all wrapped up like a proper good treat! x

      Delete
  22. This is amazing. I loved those sacks and Bros. We had a card board cut out of father christmas on his sleigh. We stuck it on the wall every year with the same blue tac ha ha. We just rolled it around a bit and it inevitably fell down at least 6 times. AND my parents only ever put their tree up on the 20th. That was the rule. How things change. Brilliant post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! The same bits of blue tac that has made me laugh when it goes all hard and a bit dirty and you try and revive it. Brilliant! x

      Delete
  23. Amazing crappy christmas memories! Brilliant huni #ShareWithMe xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. You've got it absolutely spot on!! I had that Bros single and it was so crap it was brilliant. There's way too much pressure these days. I remember just staying in ALL day to play with new toys that didn't need batteries, or setting up or configuring with ipads. No visitors, no visiting just playing. Wish it could be that simple now! x x x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it may have been released around the same time as Cat Amongst the Pigeons. Which is one of my all time fav Bros songs! x

      Delete
  25. I'd forgotten all about those baubles. The ones that when smashed would have edges that were sharper than any knife! And my mum did love a box of Milk Tray! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They could have just sliced our faces off! x

      Delete
  26. So funny Em! Oh my goodness - Luke Goss's belly button being flashed there! I used to HEART him so much, but also pretended I liked Craig too cos I felt a bit sorry for him. Luke was too much of a bad boy for my innocent school girl fantasies! You've totally nailed this post! I just need to disclose that I've written a post for Mumsnet called the Ghost of Christmas Lists past - but I totes wasn't copying your title, I wrote it ages ago. Dunno when they're putting it up - maybe they've just binned it, ha ha! Hope you have a super awesome Christmas my cherub! xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh shall look forward to reading it bab! Hope you have an amazing festive season and we see each other Next Year! x

      Delete
  27. Oh Emma you always have me rolling on the floor. Love this. Never heard of spokey dokeys hahaha But everyone wanted a bike when I was growing up too! lol So funny. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me and for all the amazing linky support in 2014! I can't thank you enough. Happy Holidays! #sharewithme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And thanks for hosting such a fab linky! See you in the New Year lovely x

      Delete
  28. Oh the selection pack - how we loved it. In fact I reckon it was my favourite present and the only time that my mum every allowed us to eat as much chocolate as we wanted without frowning and whinging on about rotting teeth. Those were the days eh? The Christmas no. 1 certainly was a big deal - it better not be X Factor this year or there will be trouble!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh. It is always X Factor and I haven't even ruddy heard it! x

      Delete
  29. Love it - brought back some wonderful memories of my childhood Christmases. I remember watching TOTP at Christmas to see who was going to be no. 1 :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! It was like a proper big deal wasn't it? x

      Delete
  30. I'm from Poland so my Xmas experiences were rather different, but I think simple fact of growing up stripped the magic off and Xmas is just not the same now...
    Love the final pic! Hair, hair, glorious hair!
    #sharewithme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hair Hair Glorious Hair has really made me giggle! x

      Delete
  31. I’m finally getting a chance to stop by and comment on this genius post that you wrote. You’ll be relieved to know that I’m not lying on the kids’ bedroom floor.

    Yes! A big bike (with or without spokey dokeys) was THE present you wished for. Nothing was more exciting than a big bike. I got excited about bikes well into my teens. I’m sure modern kids would have the same excitement about presents if only we would stop ramming technological apparatus down their throats (by constantly connecting with social media via our phones and tablets… GUILTY!). Yep – guessing who would be Christmas No.1 was up there with guessing the Christmas ‘whodunnit’ on Eastenders. And you’re right, Christmas TV was ace. I remember being glued to the TV (when I wasn’t out riding my new bike) watching magical movies. In between that, we also used to play a lot of Charades, and we always seemed to have a Christmas jigsaw to complete.

    Ahhh, the memories. Thanks for posting this lovely trip down an 80s/90s memory lane (o: xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah glad you enjoyed it! It was such an amazing time wasn't it? I am excited as Christmas TV starts tonight and I will be watching every ruddy show I can! x

      Delete

leave me a comment! they make me happy bab...