Saturday, 28 February 2015

First World (Book Day) Problems

Sh*t. It's that time of year again. That time of year where it is clear to all of the world (OK so a few Mums and Dads in my daughter's pre-school and friends on Facebook) that I am crap at crafts. CRAP. World Book Day divides a nation. There are some Mothers who rub their hands in glee, thrilled at the prospect of getting their creative juices flowing, making Pinterest boards and producing the most amazing and obscure fancy dress outfit for their child ever. And how I seethe with jealousy you lucky and creative ladies.

And then? There's me. Who does indeed scour Pinterest for 'Easy Fancy Dress Outfits for Children' but ultimately gets distracted by a board entitled 'Channing Tantum Topless'. I just can't do it. There are no excuses. It's not because I work, or I have two small children so I have no time. Believe you me I could have a full week off alone to tackle it. And it would still be dreadful.

Friends giving me advice may go down the route of "look, it doesn't really matter what it looks like your daughter will love the fact you tried". B*llocks. She would be fuming if she went in, in a half arsed Grufflo, where the tail fell off in the playground.



2015 is going to be different. 2015 is the year I am going to bypass the stress of thinking of inventive fancy dress for one day. 2015 is going to be the year of? Ta daaaa! The shop brought outfit! Sod it. As I am writing this I am already worrying what other parents will think when they see my little one in a gasp...Sainsburys special. Does it mean I don't love her enough to try?

Nope. It just means. I AM CRAP. And being a bit crap at certain things is fine. I know my skills set and I am useless at the following; crafts, baking and general making of pretty things. This has been since I was a child where I received a D in my GCSE art. Hey that's not too bad you say. Well it is when a freak fire burnt your work and they STILL gave you a D. My kiddos will never have a home made birthday cake. Fancy dress will always be store brought. And when a button is needed to be sewn on? My lovely Mother is always on hand with her oversized Cath Kidston sewing basket.

But what I can offer are other equally brilliant things such as the lack of shame that means I am the loudest Mum in singalong Frozen, reading stories to them in various accents (my scouse is excellent!) and general just being a total tit so it makes them laugh. So crap at crafts I may be...but I'm not so bad in other areas.

Now I must get back to my Pinteresting handsome men with no shirts on. It's not like there is a full on huge Easter bonnet parade in a few weeks is there???...Oh f*ck.

19 comments:

  1. I'm also totally useless at crafts. Made one witch outfit a few years ago. Took two weeks and chucked the sewing machine in the bin afterwards as was so fed up.

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    1. God I am awful. Store brought all the way for this year! x

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  2. I feel your pain. The art teacher wouldn't consider letting me take art as an option. Shop bought all the way.

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    1. Ha ha ha! I bet they regret letting me take it! x

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  3. Thank you!! I feel so much better about my planned visit to Sainsburys for Finley's first works book day! I am rubbish at anything creative! We recently went to a craft session and we tried to make a lion mask - it was shocking!! So looking at this masks shows me it has to be Sainsburys to save my son lol xx

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    1. Thank the Lord for Sainsburys and their world of amazing World Book Day fancy dress x

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  4. I like to think myself pretty ace at a rafts if I'm honest ;) but even Id opt for a shop bought fancy dress! Crafty world book day outfit... Ain't nobody got time for that!

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    1. Ha ha ha! Bet you would make a fab one! x

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  5. *crafts not a rafts - it's late & I should be sleeping!

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  6. Your a fab Mummy don't ever feel bad that you buy their outfits! Pinterest has a LOT to answer for!!! Ps ibbet your not as bad as you make out....am I the only one who wants to see a crafty post from you 😂

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    1. Bab. I AM DREADFUL! Seriously so bad. Full of good intentions. And fat thumbs so I can't do owt x

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  7. Your a fab Mummy don't ever feel bad that you buy their outfits! Pinterest has a LOT to answer for!!! Ps ibbet your not as bad as you make out....am I the only one who wants to see a crafty post from you 😂

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  8. I made sons first outfit then swore never again. If there are three words that fill me with dread they are "world book day". This year Harry Potter & Horrid Henry are going courtesy of eBay.

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    1. Boom! I may get a Harry Potter cape so we never have to worry about it ever again! x

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  9. Oh hon I feel your pain, and am absolutely utterly crap at crafts... I'll tell you a secret, I can't iron and I don't know how to sew on a button let alone make a bloody costume. Fortunely my Frozen-mad (still!) daughter is going in her Elsa costume. Phew! Good luck xxx

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    1. YES! I have however got my girl's outfit out and it is ripped!!! HELP!!!!! x

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  10. We got a letter from the preschool yesterday about dressing up *cue manic ordering of a gruffalo costume off ebay last night!* I hate World Book Day!

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  11. Our school's postponed WBD indefinitely, so I'm off the hook....phew!

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  12. I am so offended - apparently a boy at school said my wee girls outfit just looked like a Normal person with wings - so he couldn't even tell she was Stephanie the f***ing starfish fairy - that is how Stephanie rolls!! I am a good person , I have an important job, I read bedtime stories, I brush my kids teeth, I make them eat vegetables- why do I feel defined by my children 'a world book day costume???? Life is so hard.

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