Sunday, 1 March 2015

When Brummy Met Bloom

Prior to having children you are vaguely aware of CBeebies on the periphery. You've heard it mentioned but have paid no attention to it at all. And then? Roughly four months after your first child is born. It's ingrained into your everyday life. You know the songs. You have brought at least five pieces of merchandise and your drawers are stuffed with 15 free Mr Tumble phones off various overpriced magazines.

And being a Mum. And being bored sh*tless from the repetition of the programmes (did you know the afternoon shows are EXACTLY the same as the morning shows. A particularly bad case of croup in both children AT THE SAME TIME taught me this as I drowned in coughs, fruit shoots and wotsits, weeping (me) at Rhyme Rocket). You start to well. Find someone, anyone, to fancy.


Apologies if this is only me. And apologies if you think I sound heartless and you think I don't love my husband. Because I do. I love him very, very, very much. But when trapped in the house with a small baby, covered in sick, dry shampoo and wearing my pyjamas for 48 hours straight you start to look at the children's TV presenters in a different light. You start to, well there is no polite way to say this, perve a bit. You may love the way Mr Maker can make anything out of a pipe cleaner. You could lust over Andy and his curly locks combined with his superior knowledge of Dinosaurs. You could think Tumble is top totty (which means you really are knackered).

My secret boyfriend for the past four years as been? The Bloom. A popular choice with the housewives. With a nation of women in uproar when he appeared on the Bedtime Story show. As himself. Yes. Himself. He is not a non descript northern gardener. And nor does he live with talking veggies (and no I am not going to make any smutty 'parsnip' jokes). Bloom has got me through a few dark days. Where I have took the time and nice cup of tea, to have a cuddle with my two and actually be vaguely interested in the crap they are watching.


And today? I met my secret boyfriend. The secret being? He clearly has no clue. Which is good as we could have been entering stalking territory. From talking to the organisers they were a little shocked at the sheer excitement from the Mums, rather than the kids, when they announced he was doing a local story telling session. And looking around the audience it did appear that the Mothers seemed to be smiling a bit too much and one wonders if the little clips they were recording on their phones were for the kids? Or them.

Ben aka Mr Bloom, seemed lovely. He was fab for the kids, saying "Hello Tiddlers", singing the odd song and doing some quite frankly marvellous Dad dancing. He seemed a normal chap who is probably baffled by the excitement over his job. So all I want to say is this. Mr Bloom (you will always be Mr Bloom to me). Thank you. Thank you for taking my mind off the sometimes horrifically boring job of being the Mum of small children. And when my kiddos are all grown up I will think of my days watching Peppa, with a bit of light relief in the form of you, fondly. You probably think all us Mums are desperate, knackered, loon bags. And you know what? You would be right.


A day in the life vlog featuring The Bloom, swimming and a most uncooperative daughter.

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26 comments:

  1. Omg he is so lush. Was he even more gorgeous in real life? I bet he smelt lovely too.

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    1. He was really lovely. I didn't sniff him though. I'm a fool! x

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  2. Brilliant - he is yummy & I am very jealous! x

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    1. He was so nice with the kids. A fab event! x

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  3. Brilliant post we met Mr bloom last year and he was so good with my uncooperative son who didn't want to even look at him lol... ! 😊 💕

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  4. Brilliant post we met Mr bloom last year and he was so good with my uncooperative son who didn't want to even look at him lol... ! 😊 💕

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    1. My little girl REFUSED to go near him! So frustrating! x

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  5. Frickin' bloody brilliant!!! Living the dream!! Xx

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    1. Bab I am living the dream. IT FINALLY HAPPENED! x

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  6. I really want to fancy him. I've tried really, really hard. But I don't. CBeebies presenters seem to do nothing for me. Where am I going wrong?

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    1. I don't know. Maybe you either have standards or just aren't as desperate as me! Ha ha ha! x

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  7. Hehe hilarious, It's a lovely photo of you two =D

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  8. That photo of you and Mr B is actually lovely. I don't think I've ever seen a bad photo of you. Go on, instagram one just for Me-eeeeee! He definitely comes across as a really nice guy x

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    1. Oh good god if you look there are plenty. I enjoy totally putting the worlds biggest filter on my face! x

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  9. I'm a bit disappointed he wasn't in his gardening gear! (I'm more of an Andy girl) xx

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    1. And I was! So was my girl. But I did a whole oh it's his day off. Clever Mummy x

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  10. Oh the Bloom is bloomin' marv bab. You lucky, lucky thing! Did you get his number ;) xx

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    1. Oh no bab. You know me I am al cool and mysterious x

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  11. Lovely photo, liking your Bloom-loving honesty! x

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  12. Oooh. I must admit I have a secret thing for Mr Bloom. Don't even talk to me about Mr Tumble though. ;)

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    1. He is the housewives fav! And was so very very lovely x

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  13. This made me giggle when you posted the picture on your instagram!! He,he!
    x

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  14. WHAT?!?! So jealous. He sounds lovely :))
    p.s sorry been mega bad with blog reading lately (no time) but can't wait to see you very soon eek xxx

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  15. I dragged my son (who was only 1.5 at the time and didn't really have a clue what was going on!) to a Mr Bloom meet and greet last year and I was probably more excited than I should have been!! His eyes.....swoon!!! ;) xx

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