Wednesday, 8 April 2015

People. Be. Cray

I have been blogging for a good year or so now and have had my fair share of trolls. Mainly for two or three posts that seem to have hit a nerve with someone or a group of people and they felt the need to politely drop me a line and put across their point of view. Oh sorry I mean send me horrible, and sometimes violent, messages on social media. Which wasn't great, made me cry and I will be honest it has made me think very, very carefully about what I write.

I am always conscious that I may offend someone, somewhere. That one person may be upset by my words or feel so outraged that they tell me my children need to took into care, I don't deserve to be a Mother or tell my husband that he needs to "ditch his ho" (actually that one made me giggle). I now am not as brave with my words, my opinions are not written so strongly and my anger kept locked away.

But today? Today someone crossed a line and proved for once and all? That People. Be. Cray. I posted a fairly innocent photo of my son on instagram and a stranger chose to tell me that they thought my son was "ugly". Followed by, just in case I didn't get the point, that they looked like a "gremlin". Yes gremlins, you know from the eighties? Now unless the person kinda hearts ugly gremlins? I don't think these words were kind. In fact? They were f*cking untrue, ridiculous, not very clever and plain wrong.

Not a Gremlin

Because as his Mother? To me my son is the most gorgeous little boy alive. Sure he's not perfect and when's naughty he can tip me over the edge. But he's funny, smart, cute and bloody beautiful. And? He is also two. He's not a 37 year old woman who can defend herself with witty words such as "stop being a bellend". He's a child. And picking on children is unacceptable. I would have thought that was kinda obvious?

I started this blog as a way of having something online to document my children's early years. So when they are older they can look back at the fun we had, the places we visited and how very much I loved them. But then as the year has gone on I have tried to write blog posts I hope they, or their future partners, can refer to when they have my grandchildren (eek!). Little nuggets to help them realise that despite me being a bit crap sometimes my heart was always in the right place, and theirs will be too.

Nope still not a Gremlin!

As someone who is putting a good portion of herself online for the world to see I suppose that you cannot expect to please all of the people all of the time. So I will expect the odd teeny bit of abuse. But I would just like to reiterate one more time. I am not a multi national company. I am one woman, jotting down a few bits and bobs to cheer a few people and hopefully keep some memories for when I am older. I am a real person, my children are real people. When you write comments, we read them and they can hurt us. I don't sit in a swish blogging office, rolling around on pots of money I have made from the blog, doing an evil cackle like Dr Evil. I am in tatty pyjamas, drinking a cup of tea and wondering when I can squeeze in watching TOWE.

OK I could totally remove my children from my work. But I hope you all understand (and god this sounds so w*nky) they are my work? They are what fuel me to write. Being a Mother is rock hard and has totally changed me. For the most part for the better. I want to record and not miss one single moment.

So let's make a little deal. If some pr*ck calls either of my children a horrible name on social media and you will see that I politely tell them that I have blocked and reported them, as feeding the troll often makes them get worse (the weirdos). Believe you me very quietly in the back of my head? I am calling them the C word. Yeah you know the dead bad one. And if that offends you? Unlucky. No-one calls my son an "ugly gremlin" and gets away with it.


No Gremlin here!

78 comments:

  1. Your son is absolutely gorgeous (espcially in his pjs and bunny ears) You have to pity the pond life that get something out of doing that! What normal human being would make such a hateful and untrue statement?!? Keep doing what you're doing chick. Xxx

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment! Can't beat bunny ears! x

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  2. So sorry someone said such awful things. I don't understand who would take pleasure in something so horrible. He is gorgeous but you don't need me to tell you that. I agree though, don't feed the trolls. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your hols.

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    1. Oh it is so hard not to feed them! And thanks for your lovely comment x

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  3. What drives people to wake up and think - hey today I am going to make an account to send hateful messages to a bunch of people. What glee can you gain from that? It astounds me people find the time in the day to sit and register trolling accounts and how sad it must be to sit and gain enjoyment from saying such pathetic shite to strangers?!?
    The C word is 100% acceptable - from every one of us. BELL ENDS!!!!
    Ps - don't feed the troll after midnight - they might become NICE! xxxxxxxx

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    1. Your PS bit made me REALLY REALLY laugh!!!!! There's a blog post in that somewhere I swear! x

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  4. It's so sad when things like this happen. For one thing, your child is not ugly. Both of your children are gorgeous, just like their mummy. And even if your kid was ugly, who says that sort of thing? Seriously, why do people have to go an ruin something that everyone else is enjoying? Just to be nasty. Maybe they're jealous or maybe they have their own issues, but it doesn't excuse their behaviour. Keep doing your thing, lovely - you're one of my favourite bloggers, and I'll be right there with you calling the trolls the c-word in my head.

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    1. Ah thanks so much Shannon. People are mad aren't they. I wasn't too upset as I know it's not true but I also didn't want to say nothing x

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  5. People are dicks. You have a gorgeous family XXX

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  6. What a knobcake my motto kill them with kindness

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  7. I don't always comment (not just on yours btw lots of blogs I love) but you should know that I always read your posts and I think you are such a great writer and have fab ideas for posts (secretly I'm just a bit jealous ;-) ). Someone saying such nasty things about your gorgeous little boy must be really upsetting and you're quite right there must be some sort of actual mental illness to put such toxic thoughts out there. Hugs xx

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    1. Ah thanks for the comment Sam. People are weird. I wasn't too upset just really cross. In a stern teacher way x

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  8. Your son is gorgeous and I cannot for the life of me understand what makes people do things like this. What the hell goes through their minds? Probably not a lot, but wow, just awful. So sorry lovely, I think you handled it very well x

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    1. Thanks so much lovely! People are proper insane sometimes aren't they? The world is a weird place x

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  9. People are t**ts (and c words!) . And, before I continue, I know what I am going to type, well it sounds a bit sounds cray cray...

    The tweet you sent this morning totally affected me in a weird way. I have been an emotional wench all day!! That one tweet...from one comment, from some arse-holing troll...put me in such a sad mood. Then to make matters (for me) worse the kids behavior ha been erm slightly testing today, coupled with the upset I was feeling for you sent me running into the kitchen mid morning to actually cry and shove a muffin in my face.

    You see I, to you, may just be someone who tweets you sometimes and comments on your blogs and joins your linky, and probably I seem a bit crazy and maybe a bit stalkery when I like a billion pics at once on IG. (Or indeed write comments like this!)...

    But you Em are the sanity in my crazy (and actually most of the time friendless world, I dont have many real world friends and the ones I do seem to fob me off!). Your is the blog I come by more often than most. The you tube channel we go to watch (more than once a day sometimes) more often than most. You are a big part of my life without you knowing it really. My kids HEART you big time...they think your kids are their friends (in fact once Jenson got totally emosh because he wasnt at Ethan's party!!) And Evie told everyone in one of my vlogs that you bought her clothes (weird!) and then when she saw a dress you had bought for Erin she needed it too (in fact she told me she ''wish-iid I could have a dress like that Mummy''....

    So when you tweeted this morning it felt like it had happened to a friend or family member and so deeply upset me. I know you tweeted back and said you would rise above it. Which good on you well done, but I was and still am actually, so upset for you and for litttle Ethan, (who actually will probably never know about this incident but still).

    Anyway I just wanted you to know that you do such a great job, evidently, of being a great blogger and Mumma ignore the haters and the horrid horrid trolls. Much love from Becky, Jenson and Evie X

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    1. Oh bab. This was a lovely message and made me a bit teary. We shall have to have a big catch up at tots or britmums xxxxxxxxx

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  10. Easier said then done but people who think it's acceptable to call a 2 year old horrible names are not worth worrying over! They clearly have something really fricking tragic going on in there life! And for their information your son is far from 'ugly' or a 'gremlin'!!! He is a handsome little boy :) sending love xx

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    1. Thanks lovely! Yeah they are mad and I've not let it bother me. But didn't want to say nothing. People are LOONs x

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  11. You don't need me to tell you that your boy is gorgeous. You already know this. But I'm gonna say it anyway. Your boy is gorgeous. FACT.

    We can be very practical about it and say the trolls only do it to upset us. But we're not made of stone of course it upsets us.

    So my friend, the best advice I can give you comes from the guru herself that is Taylor Swift - Shake it off, shake it off.

    Enjoy the rest of your hols babs.

    x

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    1. I am shaking it off. Dress in Matalan jamas. OBV! x

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  12. Bell-END!!!! Can't believe it. Some people have too much time on their hands. Love you and your gorgeous kids Brum x

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    1. I am really enjoyed the much missed word bell end. It's a GREAT word! x

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  13. Shocking. And not on. Bog off trolls! I love your blog. Your anecdotes. Even more so since I met you. You're funny, genuine and a flipping good laugh. I don't accept that because we put ourselves out there we have to put up with such inappropriate behaviour. We aren't being opinionated or insensitive. We are sharing a part of our lives. A very special part. And that shouldn't invite such negativity. This attempt? It's so pathetic, please don't give it another thought. Your boy isn't even ugly :) far from it. Hugs from a fellow Peppa Pig Worlder (don't even get me started on the gift shop!) x

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    1. Thanks so much for your lovely message bablar. And the gift shop in Peppa World is the worlds biggest gift shop times ten. Even I brought myself presents!!!! SO MUCH STUFF AND A UNICORN! x

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  14. You're blogs always make me smile and reassure me that I doing ok! I love reading your stuff! The people that hide behind their computers writing nasty crap about your beautiful children are a disgrace! They should be totally ashamed of theirselves! keep doing what you're doing and sharing your journey with us! Two fingers up to the creepy trolls x

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    1. Ah thanks for your lovely comment and I am loving the use of the word creepy! x

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  15. Your little Mr is beautiful. I haven't met or had any trolls yet and I hope I never do. Big hugs him and your a great blogger.

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    1. Oh God bab fingers crossed you get non. It's poo x

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  16. Your son is such a beautiful, gorgeous boy! Obviously you don't need me to tell you that, but he is really is!
    Love your posts by the way :) xx

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  17. Yikes,the Internet ate my comment! Grrrrr! Anyway bad,horrible troll.....gorgeous little boy! xxx

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  18. Your boy is the cutest ever Em! How anyone could think otherwise is beyond me. It's just absolutely crazy. Some people are nutters! Chin up my sweet xx

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    1. People are total loons. He's a beauty. Naughty sometimes obv but a beat x

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  19. Very well said. Your son is gorgeous but you know that already :). People are idiots. xxx

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  20. Your boy is sooo cute and sweet and that top picture is super adorable. But even if he looked like a troll--that's something that should not be messaged to a stranger. Some people have no sense of kindness, respect and morality. xx

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    1. Oh morality. I am liking your stern words my lady! x

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  21. This has upset me for you, your beautiful baby boy! How could someone say that?! Wl done for rising above it. And the c word is the only word acceptable in that situation. Hugs xx

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    1. And the C word is a very bad word but these are very bad people! x

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  22. People are horrible, I like that you show the cute photos of your gorgeous kids- it cheers me up as mine are getter less cute the older they get. Ignore the saddos. 😄

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    1. Oh god do they get less cute as they get older? It terrifies me them not being little! x

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  23. I am outraged for you. Some people are just lunatics - your boy is gorgeous and good for you for blocking the twerp (see how restrained I was there?!)

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  24. Well done Emma. If someone had said such cruel things about my boy I don't think I'd have been able to articulate my feelings this well. It would have been one long babbling, effing, jeffing post from me so props to you for being so restrained and dignified.

    I just want to echo what someone else already kind of said. I don't know you in person and don't really tweet you often. I participate in your linky from time to time but am a relatively new blogger and still a newbie to the whole 'blogsphere' so you probably won't recognise me. But yours is one of the blogs I consistently read and relate to. I love your wit, your writing style and the way you want to build other mums up with the 'don't beat yourself up' series. Your blog was one of the ones that inspired me to have a go at blogging myself. And I genuinely was shocked when I saw such hurtful, unprovoked comments this morning. Not only was I sad for you but it kind of makes me wonder what I'm getting myself into with blogging and the potential haters out there. But I guess even as a newbie I recognise that you can't let human dross like this get to you and put you off. You are doing something wonderful with your blog. They are creating fake profiles to stalk strangers and pick on kids. Kind of says it all really?

    You don't need me to tell me your son is gorgeous. I'm sure you're already aware of this blindingly obvious fact. Keep doing what you're doing and don't let the trolls get you down! x

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    1. Thanks so much for such a really lovely comment. Blogging is wonderful and there has been so much amazing stuff that has happened since I started from opportunities to making a whole lot of new friends. And to be honest? Most of my friends have not had trolls. I just seem to attract them! Ha ha ha! x

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  25. Very well said. Some people obviously lead such sad existences that they have nothing better to do. I've had trolls leave nasty messages about me. That I can handle. I can defend myself. But if anyone says anything about Grace, not only will they be blocked but I'd also be thinking the C word too and I don't even swear lol. You handled it really well though. Good on you for saying enjoy your day x x

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    1. Urgh for you having trolls! So sad! That's horrible. What is wrong with people? x

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  26. I can't believe people would be so horrible. You just don't say that about a child, any child. (And your boy is extremely cute anyway!) We do all have to think carefully about what we put online, but nobody should expect abuse for an innocent and cute photo of their 2 year old son. As you say, opinions are one thing, and people's opinions differ (although that's never an excuse for rudeness), but attacking people's children is just plain wrong.

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    1. It is! Attack me by all means just not the kiddos. Uncalled for x

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  27. Your children are both gorgeous!!! Some people really need to get a life. I love your blog, and find it really interesting and inspiring. My children love looking at your YouTube channel. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the haters!

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    1. Ah thanks so much for your message! I am ignoring the loon bag x

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  28. I can't believe someone would write that, well actually I can believe it but only because some people are utter f*ckwits, plain & simple. Your kids are totally gorgeous lady & I love that they feature so much in your blog xx

    Gym Bunny Mummy | Bloglovin’ | Facebook

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    1. Ah thanks beaut! They are part of my blog. A huge part. The little loons x

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  29. I can't believe some one could say something so awful, you children are beautiful, who could be hateful against a child its so upsetting to read. x

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    1. I don't know. Some people are just really awful x

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  30. I can't believe there are people out there who could be so nasty. It's really awful. You have every right to call them the C- word because that's what they are. I'm just astounded. Really. Keep doing what you're doing because we all love it and love reading your brilliant, witty posts and looking at photos of your adorable kids xx

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    1. Ah thanks so much lovely. Some people are really horrid! x

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  31. Adding my sheer disbelief at how low some people will go. Blocking and reporting the trolls is the only way to deal with them. Your son is gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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    1. Ah he's a beauty. BLOCK THEM LOONS! x

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  32. The C word is appropriate here, as well as calling them bellends! People are such douches and just do not have anything better to do with their time! Your little boy is gorgeous and your family is beautiful F*ck the haters! xx

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    1. Hell yeah! I am really loving bell end. I don't think I have used it since the 90s! x

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  33. What is WRONG with some people? Sad, pathetic little lives they must lead. Block, delete, ignore and hopefully they'll crawl back under the piece of dead wood on the internet where they came from.

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    1. Yeah block and delete the buggers! x

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  34. It's truly bizarre. I feel I'm good at understanding where people are coming from but I can't understand the motivation to write something so odd and baseless. Jealousy I assume, sad times

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    1. I know it is so odd isn't it? Sad sad times :( x

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  35. Oh, so sorry to hear this, that is such a low blow. He looks adorable, a little cutiepie :) To be honest, I always thought Gremlins do look kinda cute, but he definitely looks cute in a human way :)

    Some people... Unbelievable.

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    1. Ha ha ha ha! Let's think maybe they think Gremlin in a nice way! x

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  36. Your family are beautiful and that person is...you know? Not even worth my breath. Love you x

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  37. Oh how awful there really is some very sad loonies in this world. He is gorgeous and he is just a tiny innocent little boy. If i ever encounter a troll i hope i could handle things as well as you have xx

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    1. Loving your use of the word loonie! x

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  38. I know it's been said. ... A lot. But your little guy is cute. I wish we could round up all the trolls and send them to an Internet restricted place like Korea or something. Or a deserted island somewhere, preferably cold and with unwelcoming wildlife

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  39. Oh your son is RIDICULOUSLY cute. But even if he wasn't? So fecking what. It's about time that people stopped judging others based on looks and started thinking about qualities that really matter such as kindness, consideration toward others etc. I'm sorry that you've had this experience but I'm really glad that you're confronting it publically. That troll IS a C-word. Who can be mean about a little baby?!

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  40. People. Be. C*nts.
    Also blind your kidlets are clearly as beautiful as you. By the way I am now coming round to the word Bab thanks to you Bab. Kx

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  41. Love your blog and your son is utterly gorge. Keep going. Haters gonna hate and all that :)

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