Wednesday, 13 May 2015

The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide To Milestones

This week was my son's 27th month check up with the health visitor. And we got the usual odd checklist of things to see what he can and can't do. If you have never seen it is is a list of strange tasks which are supposed to see how well your child is developing. For example can they jump (yes), can they jump forward (mmm no unless pushed by his sister), can they draw in a straight line (no but he once drew all over the coffee table), can they put macaroni on a piece of string (I HAVE NO IDEA AS I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT WITH HIM) and so on.

First time round? I worried about this with my girl. She was bright as a button that one. She could speak really well, she could put her coat on but...she couldn't jump. Literally not even vaguely. She would pretend that she could jump and even that was crap. We practised all the time. As if her not jumping in this check up would mean I was a dreadful parent. And the big day came (it was also at the same time as my son's month check up NO PRESSURE THEN). And she couldn't jump...but also? She wouldn't speak. She refused to draw. She threw bricks at the health visitor. She would not take her clothes off to be weighed. And? Screamed blue murder solidly for one whole hour. F*ck.

I am in no way shape or form training my son to build blocks

But what I took from this was the following. The check up? Doesn't really mean that much. It wasn't a good representation of my girl at that time. In fact she looked like a simpleton. If not jumping makes you simple. As a teacher, over the years I have learnt that children all have different skill sets. They are all meant for different things. They may not be great at reading and writing but when it comes to social skills, which would be great for working with the elderly or kids? They rock.

From the day you have your baby you could spend your time continuously comparing your little one. Whether it be reading books that tell you where your child should be at, or discussing with other Mums who can crawl and can't crawl (so annoying). Your Mum may tell you stories about you being potty trained dead early. It's all b*llocks. All that matters is what your child is doing in relation to them. My girl did not walk till 18 months but knew all of her colours. My son walked earlier but if you ask him what colour an orange is right now? He will say blue. Every time. Bar when he says it's green.


I do think appointments with the Health Visitor in this first few months after giving birth are important (and yeah yeah I know, a smidge annoying). So you can ask all the daft questions you need to ask (after you have googled it and convinced yourself you child is seriously ill*). And they are there to pick up on anything important. But milestones are things that will happen eventually. And if you are really worried? I would pop to the Doctor who will calm you down or refer you on.

So my boy cannot draw in a straight line but at 27 months my glorious creature can do the following: stand on the plastic Elmo kitchen to change the channel on the TV and scare me half to death, sing the full Annie soundtrack in different comedy voices, wind his sister up so much by screaming very loudly in her face, do an excellent impression of his Grandad Rog and he's a mastermind at hide and seek (OK so he hides in his bed every time but it's proper funny). He may spend his whole life not being able to string macaroni on a piece of string but to me? He's ruddy perfect.

*NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING

18 comments:

  1. My boy's nursery recently graded him at 16-24 months in his ability for some things. He's just turned 3. I couldn't believe it. I'm forever telling people how switched on and clever he is and how quickly he picks things up. Then these people were telling me he's over a year behind what he should be! It genuinely upset me. I think it's important to measure development but I also think there are so many boxes to tick before you can officially grade them within a certain bracket and it's not really representative of them as a whole.

    To me he will always be clever, funny, loving and perfect. Sod milestones x

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    1. Oh no! That would have gutted me! They have so much life to learn things I would take it with a pinch of salt lovely lady x

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  2. Preach!! We had Sams 9-12 month check with the HV a couple of weeks ago, even though he'll be under neurologist care until he's about 2.5! I've thrown the milestone book out of the window this time round!

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    1. Hell yeah. Get rid of that red book. No well don't just but it somewhere safe x

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  3. Haha I feel so much like this- my eldest was as bright as a button and so advanced and the younger one is 27 months and only just talking- but it's coming on in leaps and bounds now. I had to stop comparing them as I was driving myself crazy with guilt that I wasn't helping the second one along much. ;0)

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    1. Same here! When you have two little people it is sometimes hard to keep up with everything isn't it? But he learns stuff of his sister so it is all good x

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  4. So lovely to read this and also Katie's comment above as L doesn't say a single word compared to G who at the same age had about 50 words!!! I do feel like possibly I haven't given her as much attention (too much time blogging) but then she is able to understand every single thing I say and is just gorgeous so that is fine for now x

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    1. Ah I am sure she is fine! My boy could walk early but didn't speak till quite late. And now? Won't ruddy shut up! x

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  5. Amen to that! All kids are individuals and get there in their own time. My daughter was slow to speak, but you would never know it now - you wouldn't even have known it when she was in reception. My boys were slow to crawl, but does anyone notice that when my younger son beats them in a race?
    BTW - 27 month check - what's that all about? It's two years round here, which seems far more logical!

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    1. And look at your boy now! HEAD BOY HELL YEAH!!! x

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  6. Every child is different, and they do ask some stupid things! Ben's 25 months today. so we'll have another visit pretty soon, but the last one I thought was pretty strange the questions they asked. Although he could do most of it! I think they said they'd visit again around 2 and a half to 3 years! My son walked at 13 months, but wouldn't stand himself up by himself until 15 months, but he was learning so much other things. Right now he's literally only just learnt how to use a fork, but has known most numbers and letters for 6 months.

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    1. Wow letters and numbers is amazing! Mine can count. But colours??? Not a scooby! Ha x

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  7. I'm like this with my twins! Can't stop comparing and worrying! One seems to do it first then I panic then the other starts too. Phew! They all develop in their own time and lovely ways :) Jess x

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    1. Oh I bet it's dead interesting with twins isn't it?? I can imagine that being tricky with the comparing x

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  8. This is brilliant and you are so right - they will develop at their own speed. I think the most important thing is that they are happy really. I'll remember these wise words when I have my health visitor visits! xx

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    1. Yeah! Happy is defo the way forward!!! x

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  9. came over here from : http://metro.co.uk/2015/05/14/this-mums-blog-documenting-her-kids-tantrums-is-hilarious-5197544/?ito=facebook

    You are so funny! hahaha

    Pam Scalfi♥

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    1. Ah thanks so much Pam. And not just all tantruming photos eh?! Nice to meet you x

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