Sunday, 3 May 2015

The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide to Becoming a Mum...Again

More often than not when we have had one small baby, a year or so after we forget the horror of morning sickness and those nights spent popping to the toilet and we decide? It's time to do it all over again. Yep. Us (gluttons for punishment) come to the conclusion that our first one needs a playmate and we want to relive those lovely nights staying awake with a screaming baby.

So along comes number two. Not to scare anyone who is reading this and is currently pregnant with their second. But adding another child to your brood? Is paramount to adding five. It could just be that I am a bit useless but I found two far harder than one. It may be because my daughter had just turned two at the time. And we all know how lovely two year olds are. Ahem. So I thought I would offer those Mums doing it all over again a few things to embrace and make life easier.

I managed to get dressed!

Don't Try and Be Super Woman
Firstly you already rock as you have grown two babies. Well done! And the second one you did whilst being in charge of another child. Which means you are amazing. However when your second ones comes along try to remember that your body has just taken a bit of a knocking. I had an elective c section with my son and did not heed the "don't be picking up toddlers for a while" rule. Which may have resulted in a trip to the doctors for something quite grim (a story for another day). If you are worrying about anything during or post birth pop to the doctor or check out the AXA PPP healthcare site here.

Don't Be A Martyr. Accept Help
You first child will hopefully be in a routine by now which is fantastic! But this is totally screwed up as soon as the baby arrives home. You are trying to get multiple children to nap, or potty train or out on time for school runs. So this is when it is a good idea to get help. Maybe have a friend pop round if you need to nip to the doctors for a check up. Or let your other half take over bath times. If someone offers to bring you round some dinner? Snap their hands off. And just remember to repay the favour when the shoe is on the other foot.

Ah the calm before the fighting began

Lower Your Standards
This sounds weird. I'm not talking about loving your second any less just embrace the fact that those little things that seemed so important in your first (teeny tiny bows in babies wisps of hair) are totally futile now. Who cares if they are in the same babygro for 24 hours? As long as they are clean, happy and well fed that's all that matters. And with your eldest for those first few months it really doesn't matter if they spend that bit too long watching CBeebies, or have the odd happy meal. It's all about survival.

Get Out and About
Spending time in your pyjamas is amazing but take it from someone who knows after a while? Staying in the house with two small children is enough to drive any normal woman insane. Try and get out. Even if it's just to the local baby club to meet some like minded people, a walk around the park or nipping down to the local shops. I often found my son napped really well in the buggy and my girl became exhausted from outdoor activities and napped too! (Two of them napping at the same time? WAS THE DREAM!).

My beautiful duo

It Gets Easier. Promise
There may be times when you think "when the hell is this going to get easier?". It will. It takes a bit of time but one day you realise that you've only watched an hour of Peppa and actually enjoyed taking the both of them to a cafe. This week I took my two (two and four) out for the afternoon. We went to The Disney Store and then I took them for Oreo Cookie Milkshakes. There was only one fight when my son hit my daughter with a Iron Man toy. Bar that? It was perfect. And shhhhh don't tell my husband but they said they love me more! #winning

Here's my video offering Kate a bit of friendly advice!


This The Don't Beat Yourself Up To Guide was written in collaboration with AXA PPP healthcare

17 comments:

  1. With number 2 on the way this did make me giggle and also cry a little bit too haha. I'm going to take as much help as o can and always make sure there's cake, cos cake makes everything better right? Haha xx

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    1. Cake makes everything better! And biscuits! And chocolate! x

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  2. All true! Having 2 under the age of 3 is such hard work but the payoff is that life is so much easier now they're older and play together (while I drink tea and ignore them ;)

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    1. Ha ha ha ha!! That really made me laugh! x

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  3. The line 'It's all about survival' sums it up perfectly. As long as they're clean, fed and happy, anything goes! x

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    1. Exactly. As long as everyone is happy that is all that counts! x

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  4. You aren't uesless, two is harder than 1! And don't believe anyone that says the jump from 2-3 is easier than 1-2. :-)

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    1. Oh god that scares me for if I think about number 3! x

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  5. Loved this, some days sure are tough with 2 but it does get easier for sure. I couldn't juggle it all without my folks though, so my advice is ask for help, from family and friends too x

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    1. We are both so lucky to have a really good family behind us aren't we? x

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  6. I always wonder how it would be with two, if we ever were crazy enough to decide to have another, so thanks for the insight and the advice - not worried at all now ... (weeps)

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    1. HAAAAA!!!! It eventually gets ace. I promise! x

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  7. So now you've got this all sussed, it's time for another Emma - surely? x x

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    1. EEK! The husband may well collapse x

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  8. Hahaha, this has put paid to my broodiness (for now) so thanks for the big reality slap across the chops.

    Also, your video for Kate had me in stitches. You're ace.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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    1. Ah thanks so much! I was a bit nervous of the video! It's not my usually thang x

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  9. This was so great and so true! My youngest is just about to turn 1 and i finally feel like have turned rhat corner and hit our stride.. hopefully it's onwards and upwards then!
    Anna xx
    www.mattandannas.blogspot.com

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