Tuesday, 5 May 2015

When Is The Right Time To Shut Up Shop?

With all this talk of the Royal Baby and seeing pictures of a beautiful teeny tiny baby everywhere it has got me thinking about me and my womb. At the grand old age of 37 it's time for me to decide whether baby number 3 is an option. And if I don't decide soon? That chance could be taken away from me (curse the whole process of ageing you sod).

I am wondering if we ever know if the time is right to stop? I've spoken to friends who have said "God no more for me!" or they have told me that they are happy they have got a bit of 'themselves' back. For me having a children has totally changed my life. And I am aware that this sounds utterly w*nky. It's not like I now roam around barefoot and tied to the kitchen sink baking cakes and making marvellous meals (by now you know I am a crap wife). It just has made me feel a bit happier. More content. Given me an air of "I don't really give a sh*tness" and made me realise what is important. Keeping children alive is. Being a size 10 is not.



I still have hundreds of baby clothes stored all around the house, and even hidden in vacuum packs at my Nan's house. I have a shed full of HUGE baby toys. We have buggies, and high chairs shoved in every orifice. And occasionally my husband shall suggest (with fear in his eyes) that "mmmm maybe we should just chuck the Moses basket?". "NO!" I scream as I haven't made up my mind.

I'm not really sure what is stopping me. Actually that is a lie. I know EXACTLY what is stopping me. One my house is quite small ("ah but you can have bunk beds" my heart tells me), two I am already super busy with the two ("ah but one will be in school"l my heart tells me), three I am the world's worst pregnant person ("I agree" my heart tells me). I suck at being pregnant. I am sick, I am miserable and the thought of working as a teacher and looking after my two worries me a great deal.


For now? I am undecided. But really edging towards just the two. I'm not 100% and the thought of not holding a a new born baby and sniffing their head makes me feel so sad (because we weirdly repress the whole screaming all night, puking, sh*tting bit don't we?). And I know that in the next year or so I am going to have to hold the mother of all car boot sales. Having a small weep as lovely pregnant Mums walk away with tiny clothes, or bright loud plastic toys. But until then? I am just going to have to duck every time I open the shed and a baby bouncer smashes into my head.

21 comments:

  1. I know exactly where you're coming from! I've wanted another one ever since my daughter was a year. My husband always said any more and he'd leave - and I think he was only half joking! Now I'm 41, I wish I'd have actually got on with it, because I accepted a few years ago that it's never going to happen. I'm too old and the kids are too old. A baby wouldn't fit in with our lives. Thank goodness for my 2 year old niece and 6 week old nephew!

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    1. Ahh so you still get the babies without all the doom bits! I am still undecided. I am giving myself a year x

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  2. Awww this made me weep a little too. I am one of those 'two is enough' people, however even I did have a little second thought when you wrote, " thought of not holding a new born baby and sniffing their head makes me feel so sad" I now feel sad too. I did the complete opposite to you however, I sold everything after my son was born and I said never again!!! And when he is a terror and is up all night (most of the time) I confirm that I couldn't do it again but then some little voice suggests, maybe!! Bloody hormones hey x

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    1. It's that little voice. Whispering making me think..oh go on just have another one. Like it is that easy! SOB! x

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  3. I have always been quite ruthless with getting rid of the baby "stuff". Not because I don't want another, I do, but I just don't know if we will. We just don't have room so I am over zealously clutter free. This post makes me weep a little though. I know exactly how you feel xx

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  4. I had my last baby at 36 but I had 4 before her so it was definitely a no frigging way scenario.You just cope don't you? I just muddled on through with an extra sprog dribbling and throwing up on me lol xx

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    1. You have fine?! You are AMAZING!!! x

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  5. Ahhh hon, I don't think we ever properly know. I always said I'd have two or four, definitely definitely not three... And even though I romanticise the idea I just don't think I'm brave enough xx

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    1. Four would kill me. Well not me. But my husband may well run away! Bless him x

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  6. This post comes at a poignant time. I also have baby clothes bursting out of the loft, in our ever-shrinking 2-bed terraced house. We physically cannot fit another child in (although we could possibly manage bunk beds...), my kitchen is falling apart, my nerves are hanging by a thread, and yet somehow, deep down, I do want a third baby. Because, you know, I'm still young (ish!)... ;)

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    1. Ha! Same here. I love the way we go bunk beds will make everything better! I bet they do a roaring trade on bunk beds with mid 30s mums! x

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  7. 2 babies from 3pregnancies and sooooo many appointments with Henry because of high risk soon quashed my uterus from wanting any more. Couldn't cope with any more poking and proddingand strangely, getting rid of baby things to give to people who I know can make good use of them is liberating. If I had to give them to strangers or chuck them out, I think I would feel differently though.

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    1. I love the idea about giving the stuff to people you know. That may help me! x

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  8. I've got 2 girls and I couldn't part with the baby clothes I just put them in my mums shed! I have no idea whether I will have another child you just don't know what the future holds but they are there if needed, if not I figured my sister would use them! xx

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    1. That is what I keep saying! Oh it will be for my sisters. But really I mean me! x

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  9. I can't imagine when you reach this and your right you have to be sure and content with the choice of number. I took suck at being preggo but I know im not done. I wanted 6 of the little nutters but I deffs want at least another!x

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    1. SIX!!! If you do that you are a hero my friend!!! x

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  10. I don't think I'll have any more, and whilst I suppose I am a bit sad about that I am very content with my one and I don't feel like I'd be missing out or have regrets if I never have another. I'm still hanging onto my moses basket though! I don't really know why...

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  11. Eeek, this is so me. Except my two girls are 7&9 so the gap would be a lot bigger. I've had quite a long time away from nappies and teething and I reeeeally love my sleep. I was sick in my pregnancies too. The thought of giving birth again makes me want to cry. The girls would have to share a room and I fear they would drive each other barmy. It seems a no-brainer. And yet...! Being newly re-married I guess it makes you re-evaluate everything and the idea of having a teeny tiny bubba in the house just won't leave me! I've done the same thing and given us a year for the big yay or nay!x

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