The cackle of a proper 100% totally stereotypical 'Mum'. Someone that you could well imagine being a rough 'Mum' character in Eastenders. Loves a nice bit of Lambrini and flashing her knickers on a night out. Whilst in my early 20's I remember a man shouting out to me something original along the lines of "give us a smile blondie!". And? I was outraged. HOW DARE HE! How dare he not class me as a human. But just a bit of blonde totty. Disgusting creature. Last week? A man beeped his horn at me. And let's be honest he could just have been doing it as I was driving sh*t. But I fist punched the air and though "YES! Still got it!". I was over the ruddy moon.
LOOK AT HIM! Cackle Cackle Cackle
I have a fascination with programmes like Big Brother, Made in Chelsea and TOWIE. I like to immerse myself into a world vicariously that I in no way shape or form belong to. When older kids I teach discuss which characters they fancy and I overhear them in the playground I like to pipe in with "I love Stevie I do!". They look at me. Like they want to be sick in their mouths, roll their eyes and carry on.
I now dance like a 'Mum'. Slightly sweaty and enjoying it a bit too much. I say 'Mum' things to my friends like "Don't forget to bring your coat!"or "It's ever so noisy in here shall we go somewhere a bit quieter?". I go for a wee every hour and for some unknown reason I really enjoy a rude joke. But do you know what? That's what happens isn't it? If I was doing aloof dancing, getting embarrassed watching Channing Tatum parade around in a thong and shouted at men who beeped their horn at me? I would still be stuck in my 20's. And yeah I was thinner. And yeah my boobs didn't flop round my knees. But being a totally inappropriate 'Mum' kinda rocks. Especially when you are doing the full dance routine to Single Ladies, with your big pants flashing, not giving a flying f*ck what the beardy youths think.
Still got it.
Pic: Not taken by me alas. From 925freshradio.ca