Friday, 11 September 2015

Dear The BBC...

Dear The BBC...

There have been terrifying rumours knocking around Facebook (so it must be fact right?) that you are considering cutting the CBeebies channel from our screens. ARE YOU F *CKING INSANE?! What is wrong with you? Why would you do this to us? Below I have compiled a list of all the reasons why CBeebies saves parents lives. And it really, really does.

1) If you remove CBeebies from our screens what on earth are we supposed to do in the early morning hours? When our kids are up at 6am? If anything you should be making the hours LONGER. All night. Just so I don’t have to sit with half shut eyes watching that bit where it repeats over and over again

2) Without CBeebies I will NEVER be able to go to the toilet in peace. If I shove a lovely bit of Mr Tumble on. Then that gives me a good ten minutes to go for a wee. And maybe even read a bit of Heat magazine whilst I am there. Oh or drink a hot tea or put a baby wipe round the kitchen worktops.

Me and Mr Bloom. My imaginary husband

3) CBeebies is the only TV that is OK for kids to watch. As it is educational innit? My kids learn about dinosaurs from Andy, sign language from Justin and how to make crap I don't really want in my house from Mister Maker. How dare you deprive my children from early learning! What kind of monsters are you?

4) For the past four years. Each night. I sit down and watch In The Night Garden with my kids. The music alone makes them feel sleepy. And yes Upsy Daisy is a bit of a ho and the plots are bizarre and feel like they are written due to vast quantities of drugs being consumed. But without it? MY CHILDREN WON’T SLEEP! Why are you so cruel?

Who needs children to settle themselves to sleep when you have Igglepiggle?

5) Who am I supposed to fancy when Mr Bloom is not on my screen talking about his aubergine? My husband? Are you mad? Where is the fun in that? Mr Bloom (and especially the episode where he was in a wetsuit without his hat on) has been my secret boyfriend for nearly five years. You will be breaking up a happy pretend marriage. You homewreckers!

This man. Teaches my kids things! #iamashape

I beg of you. Don’t take CBeebies off our screens. A nation of parents will be devastated  And forced to watch Peppa Pig. On repeat. All day. YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO US!

Yours Sincerely

Mrs ‘Soon To Be’ Bloom 

PS If you want to cancel Me Too. That's OK. That Granny Murray is a proper nob.

24 comments:

  1. They can't axe CBeebies....My youngest is just about grown out of it but it's been in my life since my 13 year old was old enough to watch TV!

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    1. I think they have changed their minds! x

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  2. I'm convinced this is some kind of sick joke. If not, we need to palm the kids off on their grandparents for a day so we can go and riot outside the BBC headquarters. This is not acceptable BBC!

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  3. I used to have THAT episode with Mr Bloom saved on Sky+ then I deleted it to make a point to my hubby about how I loved him more than Mr B. I miss that episode......

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    1. Psst, you can undelete things on Sky+ You didn't hear this from me *melts into the darkness*

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  4. Brilliant. I proper snorted at the Mr Bloom bit.

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  5. hahaha i use to like me too in the early days. surely this cant be real threat cbeebies will never end

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  6. theres a petition to save it : )!!! https://www.change.org/search?q=cbeebies

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  7. Excellent post. This should be sent to them!

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    1. I sent it to Mister Maker. He didn't reply. Probably crying x

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  8. It's truly a crazy decision (if it really is decision). I'm not mathematician, but pretty much every family with under 5s (and some with over 5s too) watches it so that must be an awful lot of viewers! And the programmes are better quality and more educational than you would find elsewhere (although I must admit I do love Peppa Pig).

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  9. If they cancel CBeebies I'm literally going to perform a sit in until they out it back on... I'm going to take my CBeeie-less toddler with me too. That'll teach um! xx

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  10. What?!! Why would they do this? There must be a reason for this craziness?

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  11. In other hand, if Mr.Bloom is unemployed, he might take the job as your private gardener. Also, have you seen this: http://goodbyepertbreasts.com/2013/01/19/cbeebies-presenters-opening-the-floodgates/

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