Friday, 2 October 2015

Dear Little Black Box...

This is an open letter to the fifth member of my household. The one that has saved my marriage, has quietened my children's tears and has allowed me to watch 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' on a random Thursday evening when there has been f*ck all on the tele. This letter is dedicated to Sky Plus. It is in honour of the joy that is Netflix and a bow down to any on demand streaming channel that provides me with box sets of random American TV shows. Whilst in reality you are not human? You hold a very big space in my heart.

Our love affair started when I was pregnant. When I needed to wee continuously. In days gone by when we only had four channels (and then the Spice Girls launched Channel 5 and it was dead exciting) pregnant women must have had to wee in allocated break times. Or else they will have missed five vital minutes of whatever they were watching. With the joy of pausing the tele? It is now possible to wee whenever we want! And never live in fear that we may miss who was chosen as star baker on GBBO.

You make my children happy

During those first few months of interrupted sleep, early mornings and late nights. I would press a button and hey presto! I could catch up on what Kim Kardashian was doing or weep at One Born Every Minute. Reliving every tiny moment of my labour whilst squeezing a new born baby, weeping and feeling SO happy. Cue six months later when I was up equally early weeping as I WAS JUST SO TIRED but luckily Peppa Pig could be put on at any given moment to ease the mania of a teething child.

Whilst childless couples may have their Sky Plus packed with exciting TV like mmmm Grand Designs n sh*t. Parents of small children need to feel safe that there will always be a Mr Tumble ready and waiting. At any one time the Alvin and the Chipmunks film can be sourced and at the drop of a hat? You can press play on Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse and be able to go for a nice uninterrupted wee. Sky Plus you are my hero...

You mean I can make a drink and return and continue watching Made in Chelsea!

...but then like an on demand TV drug addict we needed more. And the saviour of relationships Netflix joined our household. Friday night was no longer ignoring your other half on the couch whilst half watching a midweek episode of Big Brother you had recorded? NO! YOU COULD WATCH ANY FILM (within reason) or relish a box set. What did people do before box sets? OK so they brought DVDs but that's beside the point. Now Friday isn't sh*t! It's not a crap night you no longer go out! It is an amazing night you CHOOSE to stay in!

So little black box whilst I may shout "OH FOR F*CKS SAKE" when you 'clash' and not record the latest episode of New Girl. Or when the wifi goes dead and there is no Netflix so I can't get my fix of some random American box set I am addicted too and I start to cry a bit. It's only because I love you. So very, very much.

You make a Friday night in drinking and watching Babara Streisand cool (OK not really)

Yours always

Em x

14 comments:

  1. I seriously need to watch more telly! I'd love to watch a box set (I've never watched one), but when your kids don't go to sleep until gone 10, it's really hard to sit down and concentrate. Something to look forward to when they go home, maybe! Think how many more awesome things will have been invented by then.

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    1. YOU HAVE TO GET BOX SETS!!!! I am going to buy you one x

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  2. We got rid of sky and less than a month later we separated. ....

    Lesson learnt

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    1. Sorry. But this really made me giggle x

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  3. Got a lotta love for my TiVo box .... Folders full of Mr Tumble and Twirlywoos .... Worship the wifi gods for the ability to watch Once Upon a Time on my laptop at the same time .... Hail TiVo! 😝

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  4. Love this! Mr Tumble at the ready is a must. I was literally just thinking last night, I don't know what I'd do without iplayer and on demand, just been gobbling up First Dates I missed over the last few weeks. Yay for BIG FAT G W too, sequel out next year, cannot wait! x

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    1. Oh bab. EVERY time I watch BG FAT GW I think of you!! I imagine your family being like it! x

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  5. Fabulous as always Em. I don't have a TV or sky box, but adore Netflix and Amazon Prime. Our laptop died on Thursday and the idea of waiting until mid next week for a new one to be delivered is too much, so we're going shopping for a new one this afternoon xx

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    1. Ha ha ha! Oh god I would die without it! x

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  6. Kids TV was a life saver when mine where younger if I wanted to shower in peace!

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  7. We got Netflix for the first time this year....it's like a dream come true! Where was it when my children were small, I ask? No wonder you love it so! x

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leave me a comment! they make me happy bab...