Wednesday, 7 October 2015

What Makes A 'Mum'?

Recently I've been thinking about what makes a 'Mum'. It may be to do with the odd comment made from another parent I've bumped into or perhaps due to things I have seen on social media recently. So I did what every normal human does when in a quandary and googled 'Mother'. Generally it seems that 'Google Mums' seem very attractive women. Happy and smiling, maybe holding flowers and having a fab old time of it. And if Google says that's what being a Mum is? Then that must be the case. As it's never wrong is it?

So to be a Mum you must always be happy, you must always have a face full of make up and you must always be cuddling your child with a giant smile (whilst sometime weirdly holding a bunch of flowers at the same time). According to adverts you probably should be doing some cleaning and according to celebrities you should be thin three months after giving birth.

You probably should be amazing at crafts and have a hot meal on the table every night. Be at every school drop off and waiting at every school pick up. Your weekends should be jam packed of kid friendly activities and your evenings reading stories. That's what a Mum does. Isn't it? But I'm a Mum. And I'm not like that.

Google Mums have a right lovely life!

Sometimes I work and have to miss Harvest Festival plays. Other times I enjoy a Saturday spending child free time with friends. I never hold bouquets of flowers (unless of course my other half has dome something wrong) and whilst a lot of the time I can be found smiling and cuddling one of my gorgeous children. Occasionally I am screaming at them whilst they lie on the floor having a strop as they weren't allowed sweets for their breakfast.

I am lucky enough to be surrounded by some amazing women. That also happen to be 'Mum's. Some work full time, their lives revolving around before school clubs and rushed pick ups before bedtime. Some stay at home, devoting their whole lives to being a 'Mum'. Just because you are at every single Nativity play or manage to miss every awards assembly it doesn't make you any more or less of a 'Mum'.

Because as well as being a 'Mum' you are also a 'you'. And 'you' are trying your very best. And if at your very best you are staying at home finger painting with your tiny ones that's amazing. Or if by being at your very best it means that you need to focus on other things than being a Mum? Working to pay the bills. Then that's what you need to do.

My version of being a Mum includes cuddles, shows, laughing, tea, booze, strops and homework

But whatever you do you should try and walk in another Mother's shoes. Before you judge think about the reason why one Mum moans, or misses the Harvest Festival. If you meet another and she apologetically says "I'm just a stay at home Mum" don't roll your eyes. If even the mighty giant that is Google can't capture exactly what being a 'Mum' is then it's our job to teach our children and do it with kindness, understanding and solidarity. And maybe the odd bouquet of flowers.

7 comments:

  1. Love this! We might not be 'picture perfect' mums but that mum just doesn't exist and if she does then she deserves a bloody medal x

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  2. Awesome Em, so so true. We're all in this together,and need to remember that sometimes x

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  3. Really good post honey, we're all mums in the best way we know how - you included. Stay strong and moan on, I say. xxxx

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  4. Great post. Google mum makes me sick! All mums have good times and bad times, sometimes they are brilliant and sometimes they mess up. But in my world they don't do any of it while wearing white, with their beautiful hair blowing softly in the breeze and a huge indulgent smile plastered on their face.

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    1. Ha ha, Sarah, love your comment! "While wearing white" - I don't think I'll ever wear white again!

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  5. Lovely post! I'm definitely not a 'google mum'! I hate school runs haha! xx

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  6. The Google mums look like they have had plenty of sleep (what's that??) And they have perfect hair and makeup. The school run for me this morning meant windswept hair (not in a good way think more Winnie Witch), no makeup, and wearing jeans which have bits of baby biscuit wiped on my leg by baby (didn't notice this until I'd been and done the school run again)! :-)

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