Thursday, 7 January 2016

Stupid Shouty Mum

This morning, after a bit too long snuggling in bed in front of YouTube and toast, we were late for the school run. Actually scrap that. We had just enough time to wash our teeth, brush our hair, get dressed and rush out of the house. Except neither child was in the mood to rush, after several "are you getting ready lovely?" and a small fight with my toddler over the fact that to put a jumper on it needs to go over your actual head (?) we had exactly three minutes until we had to leave the house and I? Totally and utterly lost my sh*t.

I became my alter ego known as "shouty Mum". A bit like a rough character in a soap. A fish wife. Someone whose voice could smash windows and probably makes the neighbours think "Oh god she's at it again". "GET YOUR TIGHTS ON. PUT THEM ON. JUST PUT YOUR TIGHTS ON. YOU SAID YOU WERE GETTING DRESSED" and so on. Whilst my son helpfully ran around laughing and shouting something about wellies. My blood was boiling and in that moment that navy pair of tights were the enemy and so was my lack of ability to have a nice peaceful school run.

This is a photo of a child who no longer wants to be my BFF 

My lovely five year old burst into tears. Informed me I was no longer her best friend (yes that is the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces). After a quick cuddle and a swift brush of the hair we were out of the house and on the way to school. I felt dreadful. Totally and utterly awful. I wish I could have turned back the clock and handled the whole thing differently. I wished that we were skipping to school with bags of time and I wish I had cut the early morning cuddles in half.

As she went into school I whispered that "we were still best friends" and she looked at me in that way that only five year olds can. You know all forlorn and heartbroken? And she sadly walked in. I hung my head in shame and came home. And over compensated by being 'nice Mum' with my son. He was allowed to have whatever snacks he wanted, got to put on his brand new Captain America outfit and persuaded me to watch Superman. He was loving life.

This is a photo of a child who has reaped the benefits of my guilt

I? Counted down the hours until I saw my daughter again. It took every ounce of me not to run into the school and scoop her up screaming "I AM SORRY SO SORRY MY LOVE WILL YOU BE MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN?". But obviously I didn't as I would have been sectioned. I hate shouty Mum. I hate the way she rears her ugly head under pressure and I worry that she will be the Mum that the kids remember. Not fun Mum, or lovely Mum, or the Mum that cuddles you whilst you are poorly. No stupid shouty Mum who gets cross about a pair of navy tights. Roll on the summer. Socks are far easier to put on.

16 comments:

  1. Eek I hate my 'shouty mum' takeovers but we all have our moments. I'm sure you'll be best friends again by now :)

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  2. I've had so many moments like this Emma and still do, sometimes (although husband takes girls to school so all good there!). I remember a friend saying to me once, children are so forgiving and are so much more likely to remember the 'I'm sorry' that you delivered with such sincerity, ever more so than the shouty mum that came out. Now it's time to forgive yourself or your kids will know that they get whatever they want when you feel guilty! X

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  3. I have a shouty mum side too! I also wondering what the neighbours think!! I always think I will be OK as I have the power of food!!

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  4. Totally feel your pain, thank you for sharing. If it helps (and I hope it's okay to share this, please feel free to delete if not), I wrote about this happening recently, and the thing that made me feel better was this brilliant card by Hurrah for Gin, which we could all probably do with sticking on the fridge for those difficult parenting days! xx http://bit.ly/1MeuyHD

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  5. Awww we all have to supress shouty mum on some days. Hopefully you were back as bffs when she got home!

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  6. I completely understand this, I hate it when shouty-me makes an appearance :( we all do it though, only human. I'm sure you'll be best friends again soon! xx

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  7. Can totally relate! My shouty mum came out when Edie had got fully dressed brill. It was all on backwards. Down to her pants. She was so super proud. I lost my s*** and felt horrendous about it for days.why I reacted like that? I didn't want to be 'that' mum that drags her kids to school late, feel judged, I want to appear like I've got this school run shiz down. And that's my issue not hers. If I'd have had more coffee maybe I'd have thought screw it, let's roll with backwards dressing ... But i hadn't. So I despaired instead. I feel for you, it's a horrible gut wrenching feeling, but I'm sure you'll always be her BFF xx

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  8. I relate to this so much, especially the fear that my kids will remember Psycho Mum rather than Kind/Loving/Patient/Fun/Silly Mum. I try to make sure I always apologise when I get too shouty. It's very rarely anything my kids have done - like you it's my own stress that causes my outbursts.

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  9. I have been there. I am often stupid shouty mum and LP often spends the morning with tears in her eyes. I hate those days x

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  10. :( I can totally relate. Stupid shouty mum, so easy to let her come out :(

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  11. Yep, shouty sleep deprived mummy here �� last night was particularly bad after 3 hours sleep the previous night. I hope she doesn't remember horrid mummy either xx

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  12. Ah I hate my morning shouting mum too! She gets really hot and bothered. I've started trying to let things go a bit. My daughter (6) wears socks not tights anymore. I ignore the dirty looks from parents about her freezing legs and my stress levels have halved. Lol. Xx

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  13. I've had so many moments like this! It's really awful and you feel so bad, but it doesn't do the kids any harm if it's only every so often.
    Kids just don't seem to realise (even when they're quite old) that getting to school on time is non-negotiable and we all have to be dressed appropriately! It's only really in the last year that my shouty mum has left the building. She's left nagging mum behind, who comes out OFTEN< but somehow losing your sh*t with a 14 year old who is much taller and a bit heavier than you just doesn't work.

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  14. I hate being shouty mum. I even ask J if he wants me to be shouty mum now, he normally stars listening to me then.

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  15. I think we all have 'shouty mum' hidden inside us waiting to escape when the stress levels are getting high. I am sure you are both best of friends again now. Hugs xx

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  16. I hate Shouty Mum episodes too. I was rewarded with a poo-smeared hand in my face the morning following an incarnation as Shouty Mum. He saved the big reveal of poo up his bedroom wall until after breakfast. We all do it. They pay us back. And we're all fine again xx

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