Monday, 22 February 2016

The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide To Body Confidence

I am a size 16. I have been a size 12. I have been a size 22. And everything in between. I am not a size 16 and am puzzled by this. I am a size 16 as I am crap at exercising and since becoming part time I struggle to watch what I eat and when I eat it. I have fairly healthy meals but then I also eat the leftovers of my kids fairly healthy meals. When I go and meet friends it generally involves a cake and it would be rude not to have a take away on a Friday. My days in work generally involve free biscuits and the odd savoury snack. It's no surprise why I am a size 16.

Generally I am happy with the way I look. I have marvellous hair and quite good skin. I have a cracking set of knockers and my teeth are straight. Generally I am happy. But then sometimes? I am not happy. Sometimes I sigh when roaming around Top Shop looking at body con dresses that would fit one thigh or if I go to a bar (twice a year) catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I think "blimey who's she?". Each day I think it will be the day I crack going on a diet but then a cold waffle is shoved in front of my face and then quickly popped into my mouth.

Mmmm why aren't I thin?

This morning my daughter asked me if her smoothie "had a lot of sugar in it?" and "was it diet?". She is five. I queried where she heard that and why was she worried and she said that it was something that I say a lot. And it is. She often comes into fitting rooms with me when I am shopping and rather than embracing that next size up she watches me struggle and sweat trying to get into the size below. And this has to stop. I am doing a great job of feeding my daughter healthy meals and encouraging her to run around and get exercise but I'm not doing so great at showing her how to have body confidence.

How to be truly happy no matter how you look. How to walk into a shop and pick up something that fits. That suits. That highlights the best bits. How there are other things that make you beautiful like being smart, or being funny (I can do funny), or kind, or happy. I know I need to lose a bit of weight and I hope that now the kids are growing up I will be able to find time to swim (urgh) or make sure the waffle goes in the dog not down my gob. 'Weight issues' is just something I have accepted is just part of me and more than likely will be an eternal struggle.


But when my kids look at me, yeah they giggle at my belly as it is "squishy" however they don't think my bum is too big. They think my hair is like Rapunzel's and they love it most when I am laughing. So from now on I will avoid the body con section in Top Shop and when I am out in a bar I will pull my top that little bit lower to show off my 36EEs. And that's the last time I sweat profusely trying to get my gut into size 14. Life is too short.


  1. I hear you sister (from a fellow size 16 Brummie but with 34Gs!)
    I really don't want my daughters having the same weight issues as me - but equally I want to be fit and healthy and able to run around after them - it's a fine line I'm continually trying to tread (in fabulous shoes, you can do fabulous footwear whatever your size!!)
    A few months before my 40th birthday a (size 12) friend was stressing about losing half a stone before my party - and 6 weeks later she died suddenly - it really hit home that life is too short to worry about exactly the poundage you're carrying as long as it's not impacting your health.
    ** pours a gin and finds some chocolate - but the really 'healthy' 85% stuff obvs **

    1. Ah so sorry about your friend! It is a fine line. And I am dangerously close to going to far over it! I'm sure someone somewhere said that dark chocolate was healthy. Right?

  2. Oh Em, you're such a stunner! That last pic of you is beyond gorgeous, and I'd kill for your hair and skin. I often think we fixate on our own insecurities where others see only the good. And you my dear are a beaut! :) xx

  3. It's so difficult trying to stop yourself from saying anything you don't want kids to hear-they pick up on everything. I've never had issues with my weight, but even so, I find it difficult to try and find a balance between promoting healthy foods, but at the same time not wanting to demonise cake and other unhealthy snacks that I *occasionally* enjoy.

    1. Because a little bit of cake is fine isn't it? Mmmmm cake x

  4. What a great attitude. I actually found pregnancy really empowering in terms of body image (yes, my tummy sticks out in this swimsuit and it's meant to) and I've tried to carry this through afterwards. I've got a squishy tummy from carrying my daughter in there and my breasts are now tiny again from all the feeding but I'm proud of what a great job my body has done in creating and nourishing my baby girl.


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