Sunday, 20 March 2016

For Those Mums In Need Of A Pep Talk

This week I was booked in to attend a two day course in London at YouTube. I was leaving early Wednesday morning and I will be honest on Tuesday night? I cried. And cried. I was scared, I was worried. Terrified I wouldn't fit in. Worried to leave my children. It's a feeling that I have dealt with quite a lot in the past few years. The feeling that I shouldn't be going here, shouldn't be doing that. Can't wear this. Have nothing to add in the way of conversation. A shell of what I once was.

Wednesday morning arrived and I sucked it up and went along. I felt sick the whole train journey and bumbled my way through the streets of London. Desperately wanting to get home to my little family. Fortunately when I arrived I recognised a face and clung to her for dear life. I went in and...something happened. I felt like me. I laughed. I chatted. It suddenly became clear that the only one that has been holding me back all this time? Was me.

During the course I learnt that us Mum's have a lot to offer. Raising children gives us skills so innate that we don't even notice we have them. Yeah my 'Mum' bag is full to the brim but it contained a phone charger when someone needed one or a tissue if a drink was spilt. We have that 'mothering' quality which sometimes seems a bit weak and fluffy but it means we can chat to others, emphasise with their situation and offer advice if they need it.

For once I didn't feel daft saying I was "a Mum". I happily showed pictures off of my kids and felt confident in the clothes I was wearing. Some of the other creators there were in their early 20's and it crossed my mind that I may bore them. But they were friendly, happy to chat and if it did cross their mind that a woman pushing 40 may be a bit boring, they never showed it for a second. We did a group activity and I happily chatted through my ideas, realising that my years of being alive have brought with it some valuable experience.

And then? I got up and presented them to the whole room, speaking into a microphone. Me. Standing in front of strangers, telling my and my groups ideas, trying everything in my whole body to avoid the urge to sing Taylor Swift or shout "I AM JUST A BORING MUM I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER". But I did it. Smashed it and as I sat down someone shouted "GO TEAM MUM". And rather than cringing? I thought "F*cking hell yeah. Go team Mum indeed".

And if you're interested here is my YouTube channel. 
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  1. Congratulations on smashing it! I think sometimes everyone has that self doubt, parent or not. I know I definitely do, but you're totally right about the only one to hold you back being your own thoughts.

    1. Thanks so much! I really had such such fun! x

  2. Yay! You smashed it! That's amazing :)
    I felt the same when I had an old school reunion to go to (, I was crying with anxiety because I felt so frumpy and boring. In the end it wasn't too bad and I had a good time (got in after midnight and everything, like a party animal).
    Go #TeamMum x

    1. Ah it is so hard. Why do we do the stupid crying??? Glad you had fun! x

  3. Great pep talk. Good for you for getting out there and smashing through the old comfort zone. Sounds like a really inspiring course x


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