It's a different type of exhaustion to those new born days. Where lack of sleep meant you were fuelled by caffeine and surviving by the skin of your teeth. But it was all good as you could have a cuddle at the end of the day with a clean smelling and adoring baby. People would stop and stare and remark at how stunning your baby was and how you look really well. The end of my day now often results in a tussle, a scream and someone (my son) punching anyone in the face. He doesn't smell fresh and clean. He is sticky with grubby nails and he has the toilet habits of a fully grown man. People still stop and stare but usually as he is face down on the floor screaming.
SMILE! No? OK
I know it is no-ones fault. I know it is a stage. That we have all been there and it will end but whilst you are slap bang in the middle of it it is rock hard. When we go out my husband is on edge at what strop will be pulled. There are hot angry tears (sometimes mine) over not getting his way. We have constant arguments about whether it is OK to have sweets for breakfast, or a toy every time we leave the house or is it really OK to punch your sister in back. Sometimes I feel like going "HERE HAVE A MARS BAR INSTEAD OF TOAST AND HERE'S A STAR WARS FIGURE AND FEEL FREE TO WRESTLE YOUR SIBLING TO THE GROUND". Just to get a bit of ruddy peace.
But I don't. As being a toddler is about learning boundaries. Stopping those naps. Leaving that dummy in the past and moving away from sippy cups. It's about going to pre-school and making that huge step into becoming a big boy. It must be kinda tough to no longer being the baby where the world is at your beckon call. And the way that he sometimes curls up on me and falls fast asleep twiddling his hair like he did when he was just a few months old shows that that tiny baby is still there deep down.
SMILE. No? OK
Tomorrow? I am sure there will be a fight at breakfast. I bet that my other half and I will fall out about not managing him right. I will fall into bed tired from the crazy whirl wind behaviour that is my son in his current stage. It will be over before long and if you are thinking "ah but she will miss this when they are all grown up". You're wrong. I won't.
That's what I want! SMILE!