One of the most used phrases I scream mid moan/row/ranty shout is "I JUST WANT TO FEEL APPRECIATED!". Now it could just be me, but chatting to my female friends it appears that quite a few of us, feel the same. We want our little ones and other halves to point out that we are doing a rather fantastic job. It's kinda needy. It's kinda a bit bratty but? I think it is a really, really important thing.
Motherhood is expected to be a marvellous act of instinct. In most cases we naturally know how to breastfeed. We learn quite quickly how to change nappies and when we hear our babies cry we go all Mama Bear on their asses and make sure we work out how to stop them the quickest way we can. We love our children. We want to protect our children. These feelings are almost animalistic. In those first few weeks we feed them, clean them and most importantly love them with our whole being.
But then? Things come along that aren't always instinct but yet we are still supposed to take to them like a duck to water. Weaning a child and reading books late at night on how to get them to crap in a potty. Scoping out local nurseries and choosing what would be the best first shoes for them to have. I quite often am blindly making decisions about school places or where to hold birthday parties not know what the f*ck I am doing. I didn't give birth and then all of a sudden have the magic ability to remember when every dentist appointment is and that my daughter has to have £1 for 'dress up as something random every other week' day at school.
These jobs are what I think we need a high five for. These myriad of tiny tasks are what make being a Mum a 24 hour job. Even if you are at work all day, your mind is constantly whirring about what will be eaten for tea that evening or did you remember to get a present for a party at the weekend. These are the times I would like someone to go "you my friend are doing an amazing job". When I've packed for a holiday I would like someone to go "what would we do without you?". The admin part of becoming a parent is not the fun bit but it's the necessary evil that keeps everything else ticking over.
It is highly unlikely that your small child will say "Oh Mother you are a wonderful human being and the way you manage my life and care for me is amazing!". They are more like to say "I WANT A SNACK. NOW PASS ME THE TABLET". But one day they will totally get it and hopefully will be able to say we didn't do a bad job. But what about in the now? Those horrible tired moments when you feel like you're an awful mess who shouldn't deserve a puppy let alone a baby. Those are the times when we need to feel appreciated. Those are the times the odd bunch of daffs wouldn't go amiss or a "Oh bab I wouldn't have a clue what school to choose if it wasn't for you!".
The solution of course would be for people to state the bleedin obvious and ever so often mention that we aren't proper crap. Or for us to just embrace the boring admin sh*te and get over it. My solution will be of course to randomly shout ever so often "BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?" and then get on with it again. Whilst I wait patiently for my little ones to turn into wonderful big ones and I will be able to see for myself what a f*ckign amazing job I did.