Thursday, 14 April 2016

Why We "JUST WANT TO BE APPRECIATED!!!"

One of the most used phrases I scream mid moan/row/ranty shout is "I JUST WANT TO FEEL APPRECIATED!". Now it could just be me, but chatting to my female friends it appears that quite a few of us, feel the same. We want our little ones and other halves to point out that we are doing a rather fantastic job. It's kinda needy. It's kinda a bit bratty but? I think it is a really, really important thing.

Motherhood is expected to be a marvellous act of instinct. In most cases we naturally know how to breastfeed. We learn quite quickly how to change nappies and when we hear our babies cry we go all Mama Bear on their asses and make sure we work out how to stop them the quickest way we can. We love our children. We want to protect our children. These feelings are almost animalistic. In those first few weeks we feed them, clean them and most importantly love them with our whole being.


But then? Things come along that aren't always instinct but yet we are still supposed to take to them like a duck to water. Weaning a child and reading books late at night on how to get them to crap in a potty. Scoping out local nurseries and choosing what would be the best first shoes for them to have. I quite often am blindly making decisions about school places or where to hold birthday parties not know what the f*ck I am doing. I didn't give birth and then all of a sudden have the magic ability to remember when every dentist appointment is and that my daughter has to have £1 for 'dress up as something random every other week' day at school.

These jobs are what I think we need a high five for. These myriad of tiny tasks are what make being a Mum a 24 hour job. Even if you are at work all day, your mind is constantly whirring about what will be eaten for tea that evening or did you remember to get a present for a party at the weekend. These are the times I would like someone to go "you my friend are doing an amazing job". When I've packed for a holiday I would like someone to go "what would we do without you?". The admin part of becoming a parent is not the fun bit but it's the necessary evil that keeps everything else ticking over.


It is highly unlikely that your small child will say "Oh Mother you are a wonderful human being and the way you manage my life and care for me is amazing!". They are more like to say "I WANT A SNACK. NOW PASS ME THE TABLET". But one day they will totally get it and hopefully will be able to say we didn't do a bad job. But what about in the now? Those horrible tired moments when you feel like you're an awful mess who shouldn't deserve a puppy let alone a baby. Those are the times when we need to feel appreciated. Those are the times the odd bunch of daffs wouldn't go amiss or a "Oh bab I wouldn't have a clue what school to choose if it wasn't for you!".

The solution of course would be for people to state the bleedin obvious and ever so often mention that we aren't proper crap. Or for us to just embrace the boring admin sh*te and get over it. My solution will be of course to randomly shout ever so often "BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?" and then get on with it again. Whilst I wait patiently for my little ones to turn into wonderful big ones and I will be able to see for myself what a f*ckign amazing job I did.

8 comments:

  1. I know exactly where you're coming from! The amount of work that goes into keeping a family and a home ticking over every day is ridiculous. Sadly nobody is ever going to thank us or appreciate it because they don't have the foggiest idea how hard we work for them. (And I'm counting husbands as well as kids there!)

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    1. Yeah it is really hard. I know i'm not alone and really I should just suck it up but I just want someone to say thanks! x

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  2. I too can totally relate! And I feel the same about wanting to be appreciated once and a while not just Mothers Days or Birthdays! We all know its hard work but wouldnt it be nice for someone to say, "Hey thanks for busting your balls and keeping it together today!" Great post!!

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    1. Oh yeah I would love it just once I got a "well done you're doing a great job, I know you didn't want to clean the microwave but thanks anyway!" x

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  3. This is so totally appropriate right now, and has been for the past 5 years! In fact, I have been blogging about motherhood as well... ;)

    https://spookymrsgreen.com/2016/04/15/atozchallenge-m-is-for-mother/

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    1. Oh will go and have a look. Yeah five years here as well! x

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  4. You my lovely, are doing brilliantly. We just need men to understand how important it is to say that! Xx

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    1. Ah thanks bab! Yeah it's more of a rant to the other half! (who will totes not read this ha ha ha) x

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