You can spend hours chatting to friends, looking at online forums and reading a myriad of baby books. Tying yourself up in knots as they all contradict each other. If you search hard enough you can find a site promoting one point of view and in the same late night internet session, a YouTube video saying that is the most awful thing to do to your precious little baby. And it doesn't get any easier as they get older.
"I wouldn't ever let my son watch Marvel superheroes!"
"Nor me!" (runs and hides mask and tells child to forget he ever knew Batman)
And I think at our heart we all feel that. So we commit to things with such conviction and vigour to reassure ourselves we are making the right decisions. Which is probably where the 'judgey Mum' side of us comes from. Granted it seems to make some women behave more judgey than others but we all at sometimes have raised an eyebrow over something we've seen that we don't agree with. Forgetting that the last time someone thought we had made the wrong choice it nearly made us have a little
"My child is on a sugar free diet!"
"And mine!" (convinces oneself that there is no sugar in an ice cream filled milkshake)
So as I am getting further into the journey of motherhood I am trying to remain focused on what is best for me and my family. Others may think some of the things we do are weird. But at the end of the day we do what is best for us. What works for us. And what works for us might not work for you and that's cool. That's what makes life different and interesting.
I am going to try and avoid googling "best extra curricular classes to ensure that your child turns out to be an international pop star and lawyer" and just look inwardly and focus on what makes them happy. It's going to be hard. But I can't focus on the "f*cking it all up" worry anymore. It's too exhausting. And whilst it remains unknown if I will f*ck it all up, it is guaranteed that I am wasting a hell of a lot of time waiting to see what happens.