Tuesday, 21 June 2016

The Five Stages Of RELENTLESS Laundry

Denial
It may be a pile in the corner of your bedroom or an over flowing basket in your bathroom. It could even be a bag of mouldy swimming costumes shoved in a case from your holiday a month ago. Wherever the washing is lurking. And believe you me it will be lurking somewhere. I choose to ignore it. Until I realise that I can't get any more stains out of school clothes with baby wipes and my jeggings have seen better days (#saggyass). It's time to crack on with the never ending relentless washing.

Anger
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH WASHING? WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING WASHING? WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO WEAR SO MANY F*CKING CLOTHES ALL THE TIME? WHY ARE YOU SO TALL AND HAVE TO WEAR GIANT TROUSERS TO WORK WHICH FILL UP THE BASKET? WHY IS THIS MY JOB? IS MY REAL NAME CINDERS? IS IT? WHHHHYYYYY?


The never ending waaaaasssshhhhhiiiinnnng

Bargaining
OK so it's not that bad. If I separate them out into different piles it will be fine! I can get it all done in a day and this evening it will be an empty basket in the corner of the bathroom. And I can stop staring at it when I wee with anger and fear. I CAN DO THIS!

Depression
So that's one pile for coloureds, one pile for whites. OK clearly I need two of each piles. And I better add a pile on for reds that ruin everything. And then I may as well do one for towels. And it's probably a good idea to do a pile for sheets as well. And better do the other halves shirts for fear of totally f*cking them up again. It's not that bad is it? That's only...9 loads. 9. Loads. Of. Washing. I think I will just go and have a little lie down face on the bed for a bit before I get stuck in (weeps slowly whilst walking off muttering something about "f*cking burning it all").

Yep

Acceptance
Over 48 hours I have done 9 loads of washing. Done. Smashed it. It wasn't so bad! OK there as that bit where I screamed at the lack of sun and had every radiator in the house covered in stupid f*cking 'non tumble dry' items. And that other bit where I was SO angry about having to put it all away I had a little cry when another coat hanger broke in my hand. But it's fine. And surely that is enough washing done that the basket will remain empty for at least another week...it's not like it's filled up to overbrimming in the past two days again is it? That would be impossible!!!*

*see denial.

4 comments:

  1. My washer never stops, 2 teenagers, towels and 3 king size beds a week to do but I do a wash every morning and the bedding gets done in a day and I start early so I get it outside, I put a load in each evening and set it to start at 5 am so it's ready to hang out in the morning before I do school run makes life much easier

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  2. hahaha! Love this.
    I actually caught up on all the washing and had none to do today. My fella suggested I changed the beds which were done on Saturday. Hmmf! I told him where to go. lol

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  3. Washing sucks. Especially after a holiday. It's a nightmare! x

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  4. I am washing obsessed! My husband mocks me for it, but often one of my first waking thoughts is about whether I can get a wash on, what's the weather like, do I need it to be a whites wash, do the bes need stripping and so on - I kid you not, I hate the washing basket filling up, it drives me mad! x

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