Monday, 4 July 2016

The Keeper Of 'The Knowledge'

In my house I am the keeper of 'The Knowledge', the organiser of things, the one who knows what's going on. You know there is always one in a relationship. The one who knows that the girl needs a £1 for non uniform day on Friday. That the boy needs to have his haircut. The one that buys the birthday party presents for a million tiny girls parties and also the one that books the jabs and organises the whole of Christmas. It falls on my shoulders. And I often wonder why. Why is it me? I have the same sized brain as my husband yet it is filled to the brim with the whys, wheres and what fors of two other small humans.

This is not a post saying "MEN ARE RUBBISH AND USELESS FOOLS". My husband is a great Dad. A really great Dad. But somewhere along the line it has just naturally fell to me to be in charge of each little minute detail of what is going on in our beautiful children's lives. Whilst he ultimately helps makes huge decisions about school places? I have been the one to research, fill in forms and ask around. If someone phoned him up and said "Quick! You have ten minutes to find the red books that hold all your children's details in or the world will explode!". Well let's just say. We would all be dead.

To do: make a crap Italy day outfit, book jabs, take kids to dentist and finally? Slowly lose my mind

I am sure that there are men out there that are the keeper of 'The Knowledge'. But speaking to a lot of my female friends it does seem to fall on our shoulders. I work part time so quite rightly should take a bit more responsibility in this area but when I worked full time? It was exactly the same. I somehow was expected to wean expertly and also I to know what a mucus plug was when it plopped out of me during labour (VOM). Are we taking on all this responsibility as we are control freaks? Or in 2016 is it still the case that the men earn the cash and the women have to make random Australia Day outfits for school (also whilst earning the cash).

It's bizarre. And one of the things I have struggled to get my head round. So much pressure to make sure that things are perfect and that if they aren't? It is I that gets the guilt. Maybe men just don't feel what we feel. Don't worry so much if tuck money is forgotten. Aren't so arsed if the birthday present for a five year isn't just so. Perhaps the Christmas we so lovingly prepare is just a bit OTT and jabs would be got round to after three reminder letters. Or maybe the world is still a horribly sexist place where we do the lion share of raising a child that is 50% made by someone else.

I dunno. Hopefully by the time my little one has her own beaut kids things will have changed. Responsibilities will be split equally and 'The Knowledge' will be split in half. For the moment I will be thankful that my husband is amazing at the fun bits and helps out around the house far more than some others I know. And puts up with me when I occasionally lose the plot and shout "FOR F*CKS SAKE WHY IS IT ME THAT HAS TO MAKE AN ITALIAN DAY OUTFIT?". Funny old world isn't it?


  1. I can so relate to this! Last night I was getting upset because I couldn't work out how to pay the deposit for son's school bus next term. It was also me that remembered to pay for the other son's guitar teacher, ordered the school trousers and sent back the wrong ones. And that was just yesterday evening! I swear my husband thinks I'm making a fuss out of nothing, but literally none of this school and hobby admin would get done without me.

  2. It is the same in our house, I'm the one who gets, reads, remembers, completes and returns all the school forms. However, I've realised I'd rather do that then mow the lawn or chop wood for winter.


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