Sunday, 20 November 2016

If I Only Had An Hour...

If I only had an hour
There is SO much I would do
I would sit undisturbed on the toilet, read Heat magazine
And do a massive poo

60 minutes is all I need
To make me really happy
Not think about tantrums, lack of sleep
Or changing another sh*tty nappy

In one hour I could lie down
And have a little sleep
Not drop to my knees in a messy living room
And have a little weep

Hot tea, a book, LIVING THE DREAM PEOPLE!

I would run around the shouting "F*CK!!!"
And light a million candles
Or snuggle up in bed
And check Kim Kardashian out by her twitter handle

I could skip to the nearest coffee shop
And not give two f*cks
About what the small people have to eat

In an hour I could have
The most amazing bath
With Lush bombs, a cup of tea
And a book that makes me laugh

I am going to smash all this cake in my mouth. HARD

60 minutes would give me
Enough time to watch my favourite show
See them swear, shag and slut drop
And make me wish I was a ho

I suppose I could have sexy time
But I would much rather
Eat a Mars Bar and watch Made in Chelsea instead

In an hour I could drink
Copious amounts of hot tea
Online shop, read magazines
And most importantly feel like 'me'.

We could have sex! Or I could sleep...I want to sleep

So if you are looking for a present
For a new Mum that you know
Give them the gift of time
And help make them feel not so low

Whilst they love they kids so very much
They need a little rest
To ease their frazzled mind
So that they can be their best.

6 comments:

  1. What a great idea! But why does nobody do this?! Or is it just me they don't do it for? Three kids can be pretty scary!

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  2. Love this! How perfectly summed up in lyrical form! x

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