Monday, 21 November 2016

It Was The Best Of Times...It Was The Worst Of Times...

The most dramatic of titles for the most dramatic of times. For the past two months I have been suffering with a bad back which has meant that walking has been constricted to bouts of 20 minutes, driving has been impossible and my bed has become the cool new place for me to hang out. What started off with me hobbling along with a stick, progressed to me being pushed along in a wheelchair. The results have come in and it appears I have slipped two discs. One which is small and the damage it is doing is minimal whilst the second is compressing the nerve in my right leg quite badly.

An operation is needed immediately. I tried exercises. I tried hot baths, heat patches and a few sessions of acupuncture with a lovely lady called Janet who shoved needles in my head and said I had a strong pain threshold. Which made me feel really hardcore and show off to my husband. I tried small walks, long walks. I tried a mix of lotions and tablets that left me sick for the whole of half term when I decided to stopped one I didn't realise was an opiate (totes Begbie Trainspotting withdrawal). And another that makes me so constipated I've watched whole films sat on the loo. Sometimes two. TMI?


I've watched boxsets by the shedload and read more copies of Take A Break than is normal for a human. I've cried. A lot. Screaming out to my husband as the pain got too much. Kissing my daughters head wishing so very badly I could do the school run. Attempting to get my son from nursery and collapsing in pain when I got back. I've missed parents evening, meetings about phonics, as well evenings out with friends and fun with my family. It's been debilitating physically and mentally.

But...in a weird way the worst of times has been the best of times. It's shown me how capable my husband is as a Dad. Both of our families have leant on each other and helped out when we needed it most. It's made me sit back and think of a lot of different things I want to do in 2017. And whilst I've not done the 'normal' things with my kids I have been able to sit down with my girl and focus on her homework whilst having the odd cheeky nap in bed with my boy. Friendships have been shown in their true colours with some women being utterly amazing. I've sobbed on the phone to them. They have sent me gifts in the post and messaged me things that have had me crying with laughter.


If you are reading this? You are most likely a follower of my blog and you have kept me going. Getting dressed to make a video, or laughing at the comments on a Facebook post has totally kept me sane. Seriously. You have no idea how much strength I get from you. When I posted that my daughter had been chosen as Mary in the school Nativity you were nearly as pleased as I was! It was amazing. So when I go down to my operation this week and have to survive the next few weeks of getting better again? As well as have having my nearest and dearest to support me I know you lot have got my back. Love you lots and see you soon xxx

9 comments:

  1. Back pain without mum guilt is proper awful! So I can't imagine what it would be with it. Though you must have an epic pain threshold to have done what you did with two slipped discs. I hope all goes well in hospital.

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  2. Everything crossed for you that the operation goes smoothly and you're back on your feet and pain-free before you know it! It sounds like you've had a really horrendous time, but it's great to hear that you've such a supportive husband and supportive friends and family. x

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  3. I'll be thinking of you. I know how tough it's been, nearly there now and I'll be sure to pop and see you soon xxx

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  4. Hopefully a few more weeks and u will be back on your feet pain free. Sorry to hear you need an operation but so glad that all this should soon be over. However please promise us all that when raiding the christmas alcohol cupboard you will not be doing anymore twerking not even for santa lol i wish you a speedy recovery!

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  5. Good luck Emma. You'll soon be fighting fit. I think you've been super brave through all of it.Maud or Jeff in the hospital bag? 😘

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  6. Take it easy. I was in the same position 3 years ago. 7 months into recovery and I somehow managed to be pregnant (with a 15 year gap between 2 and 3)...still walk with a stick but not used the wheelchair since the day he was born 2 years ago!

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  7. I was in this position a few years ago but instead of the disc it was the vertebrae inbetween the discs that had slipped and was pressing on a nerve...spent a year in a wheel chair while the doctors decided what to do. to be honest don't really remember much of it thanks to the tramadol and morphine! i never thought i'd have children. After having the operation I was back on my feet in a couple of months and back to work after a few months. now i have two children and wondering whether i'll ever get a minute to myself! the stuff the doctors can do its amazing i literally thought i would never walk again before you know it you'll be back on your feet and on the school run in no time xxxx

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  8. Best of luck. Hope it goes as smoothly as possible. Xx

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  9. Sounds like you've had a terrible time lately. Hope your op goes well and you're back to your good self soon. Jean

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