Thursday, 9 March 2017

Adulting is Hard

A lot of you reading this will be adults. Many will be parents. Or in a relationship. Some will own homes and all of you will pay bills. But I just wondered how many of you feel like an adult? Or understand how to adult properly? Because I will be honest? I have not got a f*cking clue. When you are 17 becoming an adult seems really exciting. You can drink booze officially in a bar (rather than hanging around in a park), you can vote and you can get yourself a fancy credit card. But the older I get the harder adulting becomes.

Recently life has been tainted with horrible things that growing older brings. The realisation that the people you love may not be immortal and that the career you worked so hard for may not be for you. For me the past year has had me many times thinking "Jeez I wish there was a guide for dealing with this sh*t". We have books on how to get children to sleep through the night, how to wean them and even how to get them to p*ss in a potty but after that? We are pretty much on our own. No-one explains quite how to grow up.

adulting

I don't feel like an adult. I am sometimes gobsmacked that I am in charge of small humans who love me so very hard. We are in the process of moving house and when the solicitor emails questions about sewage and environmental data searches. I want to go "I literally have no idea what the hell you are talking about". At 39 I am still regularly phoning my parents up and asking them for advice or to say that they think a decision I've made is "OK".

I am not to sure how to get my head round adulting or how to accept that it's now part of everyday life and has been for over 20 years. I've got a family calendar that I fill in with things like 'Take Kids To Dentist' and recently got a file that I now keep all our important bits and bobs in. Just to stop the twice yearly "HAS ANYONE SEEN WHERE THE F*CK OUR PASSPORTS ARE?" panic. So on paper I am smashing being an adult. But in my head sometimes I wish I was back in my Take That covered walls having my Mum doing my washing and my Dad calling me down for my tea.

But? I can't do that. I've got two tiny people who hang off my every word and rely on me being the adult. They need me to remember to take them to the dentist and help them with their times tables. I will be there to guide them through heartache, grief and having their own tiny people. I will also most certainly be at the end of the phone when they call me up pushing forty saying "what they hell is an environmental data search?". Maybe then I will feel like an adult. Maybe.

Check out how I've been adulting this week here...

5 comments:

  1. We (husband and I) are both fully qualified grown up accountants, people pay for and trust our opinions on their businesses. We still took my parents round our first house before we brought it to check that we were making a sensible decision! I'm now an age I remember my parents being and I keep catching myself doing things the way my mum would do them, but I still don't feel like a grown up. I feel like I am playing houses and babies, rather than actually being legally responsible for them! I'm hoping when I turn 40 a lighting bolt will strike and I will then feel like a fully fledged adult!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've felt a lot like that lately. My mum died nearly 2 years ago, that makes you feel even more like you need to be a grown up! And I'm 40 next year, what's that about?!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally get where you're coming from with this. It makes me wonder if our own parents were just busking it too and we had no idea! Maybe this is a big secret they've been keeping from us - adulting is actually really hard! I'm 43 and I know I sometimes (often) find that really hard to believe. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a kid living in my house, although I don't remember kids doing quite as much housework as I do when I was growing up so, yeah, I probably am an adult.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 58 - still think I am 19. Avoids mirrors, wears jeans and tshirts, keeps hair long and blonde - at my age my nan had a grey perm and work crimplene dresses :) But I do organising paperwork well because not knowing where my passport is would be the end of my world! Also brought both my kids a file box as a gift when they were teens (Monica with Phoebe rising).

    ReplyDelete
  5. This!!!

    I daily question how I am in charge of myself,let alone 4 mini humans. I don't know if I will ever feel like an adult. From what I see you are doing a great job. I often talk to people my age and then feel like I am in my twenties, then I talk to someone who is 20 and then I feel old, but still not an adult, lol.

    Cherie || My Mama Musings x

    ReplyDelete

Leave Me A Comment...Thanks!