Thursday, 29 June 2017

Is This Mum A 'Melt'?

When the cast of Love Island sit together and chat about who they think is watching the show I bet they imagine like minded people. Gorgeous, slim, can slut drop and have perfect eyebrows. I am quite sure they would be disappointed that a large proportion of their audience are in old Matalan pyjamas, eating a Kit Kat chunky, trying to work out what the hell a 'melt' is (seriously what is it? I googled it and everything!). Another summer arrives and another year I am OBSESSED with watching the youth of today try and pull each other.

I thought as I got older my taste in TV would change. That my husband and I would chat politics during Newsnight. That we would have long leisurely breakfasts discussing the news of the day and sometimes? Hell we wouldn't even watch TV. We would listen to Jazz. But in reality what has happened. Is the total opposite. Give me a show where people are a bit p*ssed and could potentially snog/row/fall over and I'm in heaven.


And I don't know why. What is it about these programmes, especially Love Island, that make me so ridiculously happy. It's very different from my life as a woman on the pull in her early 20s. Men didn't have amazing eyebrows and wear what seems to be cropped white leggings. CROPPED WHITE LEGGINGS. Their kegs are tighter than my Top Shop leggings that are a bit baggy around the bum. And the beautiful girls have filler in their lips? Which seems to be a thing. When I was younger cosmetic surgery was for Michael Jackson. And let's be honest we all laughed a bit at him.

I once, in the privacy of my own home, tried to 'slut drop'. I couldn't get back up again and lest we forget the time I twerked and ended up slipping two discs and in a wheelchair. So what do we parents of the UK see in these shows? What is the psychology in us tuning in each evening? Are we looking through a window at a life that we wish we had now. Are we wanting to be melts (WHAT IS A MELT). Do I walk past a mirror and think "my lips are looking mighty thin today". And would I fancy my 6ft2 husband more in cropped white leggings.

Nah course not! I watch it to feel a little bit smug. To praise the lord that my youth was NOTHING like what they are experiencing. Admittedly they have 'bangin bodies' and the men enjoy a six pack. But I kinda liked my lads to be a bit awkward. To drink beer, wear Levis and enjoy whatever indie pop was in the charts at the time. It seems such hard work being young these days. What with social media, swimming costumes that go up your bum crack and squeezing into those white legging trouser hybrid things. So I will tune in again tonight, rage when Johnny is mean to Camilla and give my slightly rounded around the edges husband a snog. He's better than a melt any day (if I knew what a melt is which of course I don't).

Photo Credit: The Mirror
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1 comment

  1. Oh god I'm wetting myself reading this ! My husband and I ( both turning 40 imminently ) are hooked ! I can't wait for love island every night ! Just love it! And I too have no idea what a melt is ! I'm smug because I know thank god my lovely slightly rounded less muscular husband has never and will never wear tight ankle jeans and a slip on shoe ��

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