Saturday, 3 February 2018

The Bloggers Guide To Dealing With Trolls

Hello and welcome to my 'Bloggers Guide To Dealing With Trolls'. I bet you are thinking "now what the heck does Emma know about online negativity?". Well my friends I know A LOT. Sadly so much that I am now pretty much desensitised to negativity coming my way (please don't call me fat in the comments). Over the years I have been called everything from a "double bagger" on my Facebook page, to saying I needed to be shot on Mumsnet. Someone once said they were going to call social services on me on Netmums and I was once quite excitingly called a "ho" on CNN. From my appearance, to my mothering skills, to my husband, to just well me being t*at. I've had it all. So here is the way I deal with it...

Cry
I have cried about online comments before. Like badly. I always remember being in The Daily Mail (DING DING ALARMS YOU WILL ALWAYS GET HORRIBLE COMMENTS ON THE DAILY MAIL) and I thought I would just check the comments on my break at my then teaching job. They were awful. I felt sick, ashamed, mortified that people would see these terrible things about me and I wept. And wept. I have wept a few times about comments and possibly will do in the future. My Dad now says "I'm not listening! You know the comments are coming so don't cry to me!". It's true. Whilst crying feels quite good. It's not always the answer.

SHOUT
I finding shouting about negative comments to my other half quite cathartic. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY SAID I WAS AN IDIOT WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY F*CKING ARE" and so on. For a few hours. Till I get it out of my system. Shouting helps. Or texting your mates loads. I do that too.

Bet you didn't expect a mention in The Mirror did you troll?

Respond
I would like to say I am like super cool and I never reply to the comments but that my friends? Would be a lie. It is of course the classy way to not respond. To let them just wang on about shooting you and such. But sometimes when I'm feeling a little bit hormonal I will respond. I've tried just calling them names (doesn't work), asking them why they are being mean (doesn't work) or just cutting them down with a reasoned response and a little kiss at the end of it (doesn't work but jeez does it feel good!).

Get Your Girl Gang On Em
Sometimes my mates have had a go at them. Or followers have had a go at them and it does really feel nice knowing people have your back but it can actually make it worse. Online commenting can really, really, REALLY get out of hand and you don't want your BFF being called a sl*g by a stranger on the internet so I would try and avoid this method.

Shaming Them
I would NEVER shame someone by name. When I get a mean comment sometimes people will say "WHO WAS IT NAME AND SHAME THEM". Nah that doesn't help. You stoop down to their level. But there have been a few times for example when I was called a double bagger that I did do a little response on instagram. I always make sure that it's reasoned, that it's fairly polite and it's quite upbeat. I live my life by killing people with kindness and it really does work. Be the better person and hold your head high (whilst calling them a bellend in your head).

Never Read The Comments
My best advice to you is? NEVER read the comments. Ever. If you are on any of the following Mumsnet, Netmums, The Huffington Post, The Daily Mail...in fact anywhere that is not full of your own loving group of followers you will always get negative comments here and there. It's just part of your job now. Not a nice part. When I was Creator on the Rise on YouTube and featured on trending the comments were MIND BOGGLING. I mean I've never seen anything like it. I will say though that 'Hitler' (not real name I presume) thought I was a MILF. So that was quite exciting.

These people don't hate me! (OK they do sometimes)

Move On
You have to move on. Not everyone is going to like you. That's life. I'm annoying. I'm loud. I'm old. I'm a bit fat and that's cool if you think that. But the people close to me think I'm funny, bubbly and just ace. And you have to cling to that. Also I have a little laugh at them now. Hitler left some CRACKING comments on my YouTube channel CRACKING. Me and my other half were lolling especially at the bit where he said I suck a lot of d*ck. My husband can confirm? That's not true.

Moderate
I moderate all my comments on YouTube. It is dead easy to do. I have put every awful word you can think of in and they can't get through to the live page. I can just delete them. I would block any ar*ehole on your social media that makes you feel anything less than great. Sure people can leave different opinions in a polite manner but if it's not polite and makes you feel sad? Block them and move on. You are in charge of your own social media. They don't have an entitlement to be mean. If there are comments that damage your 'brand' you have a right to get in touch with whoever shared it and ask them to moderate them. Do it in a professional way and they will happily remove or respond to a few.

Accept It
Mean comments are just part and parcel of being on the internet. And yeah sure it is SOUL DESTROYING that we are in a society where people think this sh*t is normal and reasonable. God it really is depressing if you think about it but all you can do is encourage your little ones not to grow up and be such douchebags. And always try your best to treat people with kindness. It goes a long way. Promise.
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4 comments

  1. I might print this off and staple it to my face to refer to frequently like a little bible. Seriously, I get all hyperventilatey just reading comments on random posts IV the internet, so if I ever become popular enough to attract nasty comments on my own blog I'm doomed. I might tattoo parts of it on my arms instead for quick and easy access! Xx

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  2. I do think the best attitude to have is to ignore the haters, it means they're talking to themselves if they don't have an audience.
    Your friends are the delete and block buttons, feels good too.
    Stay strong and carry on xx

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  3. I follow you on insta and I am also on MN and have been for many years.
    After seeing you mentioned in a post a few times on there, could you clarify please if in your insta story when you are opening boxes and you say ‘thanks so and so’ etc Are they gifted?

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    Replies
    1. Hello! TBH I rarely get much sent but if I do I will ALWAYS say "Thanks to so and so" and tag them in. If I am paid to do an instastory I will ALWAYS say "Thanks to so and so" and it will say #AD in the corner. If I have bought it myself (which is generally most of them) I always just say I bought it and I generally tag the brand in too. Hope that clears it up! xxx

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