Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Stupid Shouty Mum

I am generally stupid shouty Mum during the week. Mornings before school I am screaming about shoes and ties. There is a lot of "JUST GET YOUR COAT ON!" and then me moaning about toothpaste on tops and forgotten homework. We rush, I drop them off and then return home to a house full of silence. I had to run some errands today and walked past a park I used to frequent loads when my babies were little. I got in my car and had a cry. The fresh spring air reminded me of days that weren't rushed, where I didn't have to remember gym kits and just enjoyed pushing tiny bottoms in swings whilst my babies screamed with glee.

By the time my children get in from school they are grumpy. They are tired. And they are starving. After the tussle to get their coats off and ram snacks down their faces we have a whole variety of boring tasks to do. Homework projects about The Titanic, violin practice, phonics, reading about stupid Biff, Chip and Knobber. It's relentless. The week is now five days we have to survive to get through to the weekend. It sucks. It revolves around Brownies, SATS and rush, rush, rush.

So I decided today to do something stupid shouty Mum is not well known for. I decided to have post school fun. We pulled up outside our house. And the ice-cream van was there. The kids asked me for an ice cream in a half arsed voice that suggested I was going to say "NO!". But I didn't. Stupid shouty Mum said "YES!". And everyone screamed. We bought ice creams, we walked to the local park and ate them in the freezing cold. I tried to put "oh god they are going to want to do this every day" to the back of my mind, relaxed and had fun.

Next my children asked if I could come and play in the park with them. And they were gobsmacked when stupid shouty Mum said "YES". I pushed their not so tiny bottoms in the swings and they both screamed with glee. I tried not to wince when my son got ice cream all down his coat and didn't bat an eyelid when my daughter got mud all over hers. For 45 minutes I said "fook you violin" "bore off SATs" and "hell yeah ice-cream is perfectly fine to eat before dinner!".

I am under no illusion that this is something that can be maintained every day. Life has to go on. Homework has to be handed in. Mums up and down the country will be screaming about putting coats on every morning. But I am going to try and make an effort to not be stupid shouty Mum at least once every few weeks. I want to see the glint in their eyes when they tuck into a flake. I want to sniff their head when it smells of freshly cut grass and I want to feel like I'm making memories rather than just making our family survive five days of the week.


  1. So easy to get carried away with family life. It's healthy to have crazy days, get dirty and take stock. Those memories are precious. Ask my 40 year old hubby what he remembers of time with his Nan. He'll say sweets after school. Yes awful for his teeth but happy days looking forward to that school pick up. I read a quote elsewhere saying life with children means the days are long but the years are short. When they are teenagers and walking home themselves then grunting at you, you'll remember those ice creams and the swing fun. Enjoy!

  2. I am a shouty Mum and hate myself for it.

  3. Awwww Emma, this has come at just the right time for me, I've had such a bad day. But tomorrow is a new day and a chance not to be stupid shout (beat herself up) mammy! Thx I needed this x

  4. I think being a shouty mom makes the special breaking the rules days stand out more. I hate being a shouty mom but I know that in the end I'm only shouty because I'm trying to mold my kids into awesome adults that have respect and integrity. It's the rubbish side of momhood

  5. I think we are all shouty mom's, I've just done it to my boy who still isn't dressed! And yes I threatened to take him in his pj's if he didn't shift. I'm rubbish at saying yes to them too, so this is a good reminder to do just that sometimes and break the rules a bit xx


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