Thursday, 13 March 2014

I've had a baby. Not a lobotomy!

Just returned from my third attempt of attending the local mother and baby club. The facilities are fantastic. The range of toys is brilliant and also they provide loads of healthy snacks. And I'm a huge fan of free things. But. The conversation? Shit.

What's wrong with people? What happened to 'I am woman hear me roar'? Or 'girl power' or just women being relatively normal human beings. Jeez. I just do not get it. It's as if your baby comes out and the placenta really is that part of your brain where you can hold sensible and stimulating conversations. 

I entered. Tentatively but with an open mind. Thinking today was going to be the day when I meet the illusive of all creatures. Gasp. A local mom friend! Someone I can giggle about stupid things with. Or discuss what's going on in the world. Ok not heavy politics but whose shagging who in TOWIE at least.  

Boy draws to avoid listening to my boring voice

I sat down. And so it began. The talk about baby crap. Not as in the topics were crap. As in actual crap. Poo. Colour of. Regularness of. I thought ok we are just warming up. The real conversation is going to start in 54321........"oh mine started walking at 15mths". Argh!!!!!!

And then I caught it. I caught the boring Mom disease. I found myself discussing part time verses SAHM. Which was better pre school or nursery? I even talked about my girls favourite princess. Why??? I was ashamed with myself. I had become one of 'them'. Thank The Lord it was 'sing a boring song time' so I shut up as I was embarrassing myself. 

Whilst looking around I thought hang on. Maybe we are all the same! Maybe we all crave normal conversations? Maybe I'm not the only one. Perhaps I should start a revolution and say "come on Mums (and one awkward looking Dad) lets do it! Lets make the main rule of playgroup we don't talk about crap or walking or night feeds or teeth. Whose with me??!".

I didn't though. I shoved a bit of kiwi in the boys gob and sadly sang the wheels on the bus. Sob. 


  1. Oh see i'm one of those mums likes to talk shop at mother and baby group.

    1. They are good if you have something you want to talk about. Just not my cup of tea. Glad you enjoy them xxx

  2. So with you on this i have totally learnt to steer clear of such types though - there are often normal people, you just need to look very hard :)

    1. I did see one mom who looked normal. I shall cling to her next time like a loon xxx

  3. It happens to the best of us :(


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