Thursday, 12 June 2014

Let's talk about sex baby.

Ejaculation. Masturbation. Penis. Vagina. Sperm. OK do these words make you a) want to giggle b) feel a tiny bit awkward c) want to run away? Alas as a teacher for the past decade in a large secondary school, these are words that every year I have to say to both my GCSE RE groups (we do ethics in RE now, we are so like down with da kidz) and also in my PSCHE class. This is a class where each week you teach pupils anything from finances to drug awareness to how to put on a condom.

Yes, that's right! Teachers teach your children how to put a condom on a fake penis. It's green. Sometimes they are blue. I'll be honest? I have nearly giggled when getting that bad boy out. But what I always think when teaching these teens is. How come no-one closer to home has tackled this topic? How come they ask questions with eager, concerned faces such as "Can you use a shower curtain as contraception whilst having sex in the shower?" "If you have sex with a pregnant lady and the condom comes off during it will the baby be born wearing it as a hat?". Both true questions. Both said with all seriousness. Both having to be answered by me, whilst trying not to looked shocked.

Whilst our teen pregnancies are getting lower in the UK, the Office for National Statistics data show the under-18 conception rate is the lowest since 1969 at 27.9 conceptions per 1,000 women aged 15-17, we still aren't in line with other European countries. That doesn't sound that many but that does not include those teenagers having sex and 'getting lucky'. Lest we forget contraception does not only help stop pregnancies but also helps protect our sons and daughters from catching STI's.

Teachers Tools. Minus big plastic penis

As a nation we need to do something about this. I'm not sure if it is because we are English and well known for not being open and not being forward about certain topics. But believe you me, you are foolish to think your lovely innocent child is not thinking about sex (I over hear all sorts of dreadful conversations!). They may not be wanting to have it, but they are watching programmes such as Big Brother (who currently seem OBSESSED with discussing 'finger banging' and 'anal'), Geordie Shore and Teen Mom. This is where they are learning about sex. Their ideas of sex are stemmed from quickies with a Geordie stranger in a Cancun hotel room or drunken fumbles in an Essex nightclub.

Teachers can not tackle this alone. There is only so much I can teach. Your teenagers will have questions, and sometimes these questions are not wanting to be discussed in front of a class of 31 of their peers. As a parent we should strive to want the best for our children. We teach them about Maths, English, help them with their Science homework. And let's be honest we don't really think about the laws of gravity when we leave school, or use Pythagoras theorem. But sex? This is something that will be in their lives forever.

So parents of the world. Man up! If I can say ejaculation whilst holding a giant blue penis in front of 32 15 year old boys and not giggle? You can do it in front of your own son or daughter. Just try not to go too red.

How do you feel about sex education? Would you feel comfortable talking to your teen about it? 
Or is it something better to be done at school?

Post Comment Love


  1. Was it wrong that I was humming 'Salt n Pepper' in my head while reading this?
    What a great post. In our house we are very open about all things sex related. The 2 bigger ones know that they can talk to us about anything and that will be the same with the younger 2. Someone in eldest's year is pregnant. 15 and posting proud pics of her scan pic on FB! We had a very serious conversation after that was public knowledge. I'd rather be open knowing that the children know they can come and talk to us about anything!

    1. I hope to be really open with my kids too. It is a hard topic to cover but people need to be realistic and think that even the nicest loveliest of kids talk about sex! xxx

  2. My mum got me a couple of books out the library and that's all i got! I hope i am much more open with my boys or at least they can talk to their dad about anything if thats what they prefer. I think it's so important. Sure you are doing a fab job lovely xxx

    1. Oh god. The thought of my hub talking about it? Makes me howl. He would have a proper heart attack and run away. Nice that your hub can help out too xxx

  3. Fantastic post, and so true. When I was 11 I had the closest I've ever had to a "sex talk" with my mum. I was off to Guide Camp the next day, and she called me into the kitchen: "you've learned about periods and stuff at school, right?"
    "I bought you some pads in case you get your period on camp. Here they are. Go pack your bag."
    That is the only discussion I have ever had with her about that sort of thing!
    Thanks for linking up with #WeekendBlogHop!

    1. Ha ha ha! Oh Mums. They are funny things. I hope to be more open with mine but not to the point of making her squirm. I worry that being a teacher I could be a bit OTT! I probably will have to reign myself in! xxx

  4. In my opinion, the only way forward is to be open and answer the inevitable questions as simply and age-appropriately as you can. If that means hiding the shock and hiding the blushes, so be it. In fact, bring it on!

    1. YEAH! Bring it on! I will defo have to be careful as I bet I will proper embarrass my little ones! ha ha ha xxx


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