Let It Go...

Sometimes blog posts are written as you want to make people smile, or you want to make people join in a discussion or be informative or controversial. Or sometimes, you just want to blab on about how you feel and it makes no odds if people read it or not. And this is how I'm feeling today.

There's been a change. I've noticed it recently. Things are just well... getting easier. As soon as my boy could walk and now has started speaking, and my girl, who is now approaching preschool, is having fewer tantrums (but hell yes she can have some corkers!) life is just getting that little bit easier. I've started to feel a bit more like 'me'. A bit more normal, a little less hormonal and a bit more like a person and not just a provider of food, plasters and cuddles.

It all started with me throwing away some odd sippy cups that belonged to both of my children. I decided to upgrade to some nice trendy ones but alas was somehow conned into getting a Thomas, Spiderman, Sophia and Tinkerbell one? It's clever how they do that isn't it? Sly sods. The chucking away of these little items made me sad, and made me all wistful for the end of an era. The end of the 'bot bot' as my girl called it. I don't have babies now. I have one toddler and one soon to be little girl. Sob. But then something strange happened....

I started nesting. It was weird like a post pregnancy, post baby nesting period. And this is why I am typing this, sat in the corner of my bedroom with piles of clothes and make up and old photos surrounding me. I am having a clear out. I am having a "say goodbye to a life full of tat" session. Raising my little tiny children has been so rewarding but somewhere along the way I lost 'me'. And it's time to get me back. Now life is easier I can focus on the things I loved that I forgot I loved - clothes, bags, make up, shoes (OK predictable but you should know me by now it was either going to be that or bunting). Do things I enjoy doing. Tomorrow me and the husband are going to V Festival. Only for the day but you know what? That's the start - the start of our new exciting future.

One where sleepless nights are far and few between. One where tantrums don't ruin the whole day. One where my gorgeous little family can go out and together we can chat and have fun and do such exciting things. Saying goodbye to the 'bot bot' was heart wrenching and made me have a little cry. But I am thankful to that tatty one armed stinky piece of plastic as now I have gotten rid of hoodies from Uni (I am 36 for some perspective), FOUR purple eye shadows (?), two ripped denim mini skirts that only Kate Moss could pull off, a Lily Allen and Backstreet Boys T-shirt and a host of other crap that was looming around my life and getting in the way.

I now intend to refill my drawers with things I adore and make me smile. I intend to make plans which it seems I may actually be able to keep and hell I may even read a book (or watch a little bit more tele oh or maybe a film!). Things are looking up. Better get back to sorting through my bobbles. I'm sure I saw a scrunchie in there and I know they are back in fashion...but really? Urgh.
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