The Rules of Packing for Holidays

1) All packing must be done by the Mother and the Mother alone. This is an unwritten rule no-one really know why this rule exists but for some reason IT IS A RULE (grrrr).

2) You will not be able to find all of your suitcases for some reason. You can't remember where you stored the missing suitcase but this will certainly be the suitcase that holds the important things like travel plugs, or the travel iron (never to be used) or just stuff you bloody well need.

3) When you find most of your suitcases they appear to be smaller than they were last year which means you have to rethink exactly what you will pack. Can your whole family live with no shoes for a week maybe?

4) Travelling abroad somewhere nice and hot and luxurious? Your packing will be easier and consist of your nice light summer wardrobe and maybe a brolly.

5) Travelling to somewhere in the UK (like us)? YOU ARE SCREWED! You have to scrounge around your house to locate and pack for four different humans - sun hats, scarves, sun tan lotion, wellies, summer dress, cardigans, jelly shoes, rain mac...and so on...anyone seen the babies mittens?

sob sob sob...

6) Half way through packing you realise that this is the most disheartening of jobs you never signed up for and you hide in the bedroom watching Homes Under the Hammer pretending you are packing.

7) You start to cry a bit.

8) Packing recommences with renewed vigour! You ensure each child has an outfit for everyday, then one to go out on the night with, then one in case someone (will) poo, vom, trip in previous outfits, then a set of pyjamas for each day. So that's four outfits, per child, per day. You realise you won't be taking any clothes for yourself on this holiday.

9) Packing is done! You have replaced the missing lost case with a bin bag full of wellies, Uggs, gladiator sandals and mock crocs.

10) You begin to unpack at your chosen destination (another bloody unwritten rule) - you forgot your husband's underwear. He shouts at you. You have a small giggle and suggests he thinks about rewriting rule number 1.
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