Don't leave me with her!

Dear Big Sissy...

So there seems to be some panic in the house at the moment. Mum is shouting at Dad as she can't work out how to sew labels on your socks. Sometimes she weeps a bit and says she's going to miss you  "SO SO much" (she's so dramatic that one). 

But what about me? You're leaving me with her! We are supposed to be besties. In this together. You taught me how to shout "Yogurt" loudly on repeat till she caves in and gives me one, sometimes two. When she tells everyone I am advanced and I walked dead quick and use a knife and fork she looks all smug as she thinks she's the worlds best teacher. It's nothing to do with her. It's you. 

You big sis are my role model. Everything I do I do it to get closer to you. I walk so I can chase you. I pick up a knife and fork so I can throw it for you to get. The words I say are to chat to you. I shout your name in the morning whilst Mum tiredly tries to restrain me and makes me watch Made in Chelsea as it's too dark for anyone else to be up. 

Yeah OK so I pull your hair sometimes and yes so there was that one time I bit you but it's all for sh*ts n giggles isn't it? Grandad told Mum you pushed me over once but that's OK. I'll be proper big soon and I'm biding my time. You're my BFF. You're my partner in crime. And when Mum drives us somewhere dead boring and tries to make it exciting? You repetitively scream with me. Flipping hilarious. 

Oh God. Now when Mum makes us go to educational places every bloomin day and bores on about pigs or colours or worse RE (yawn), there will be no one to chase. Or no one to share a bag of crisps with. Or no one to watch Ben And Holly with (now that's some proper funny sh*t). I'm going to miss you. So very, very much.

But it's ok! It's only three hours. It's only the morning. It's not like you're going to be away ALL day and I'll be left with Mum all alone. That will never happen. Will it? Course not. That would be a mental thing to do. 

So big sis. Have fun where you're going, in your big new flashing shoes (Mum said you can't have the flash on at school? She's soo weird). Make some friends but remember no one will love you like I do. No one will think you are the best thing in the world like I do. I'll promise to keep up our good work and whilst you're away for those three hours? I will yell your name repetitively and scream 'YOGHURT' till there's no more left in the house. And when Mum nauses on about bloody numbers and twinkle twinkle? I will just bide my time till we can giggle at Nanny Plum and her totes fancying Wise Old Elf. 

Love your Little Brother xxx