First World (Book Day) Problems

Sh*t. It's that time of year again. That time of year where it is clear to all of the world (OK so a few Mums and Dads in my daughter's pre-school and friends on Facebook) that I am crap at crafts. CRAP. World Book Day divides a nation. There are some Mothers who rub their hands in glee, thrilled at the prospect of getting their creative juices flowing, making Pinterest boards and producing the most amazing and obscure fancy dress outfit for their child ever. And how I seethe with jealousy you lucky and creative ladies.

And then? There's me. Who does indeed scour Pinterest for 'Easy Fancy Dress Outfits for Children' but ultimately gets distracted by a board entitled 'Channing Tantum Topless'. I just can't do it. There are no excuses. It's not because I work, or I have two small children so I have no time. Believe you me I could have a full week off alone to tackle it. And it would still be dreadful.

Friends giving me advice may go down the route of "look, it doesn't really matter what it looks like your daughter will love the fact you tried". B*llocks. She would be fuming if she went in, in a half arsed Grufflo, where the tail fell off in the playground.

2015 is going to be different. 2015 is the year I am going to bypass the stress of thinking of inventive fancy dress for one day. 2015 is going to be the year of? Ta daaaa! The shop brought outfit! Sod it. As I am writing this I am already worrying what other parents will think when they see my little one in a gasp...Sainsburys special. Does it mean I don't love her enough to try?

Nope. It just means. I AM CRAP. And being a bit crap at certain things is fine. I know my skills set and I am useless at the following; crafts, baking and general making of pretty things. This has been since I was a child where I received a D in my GCSE art. Hey that's not too bad you say. Well it is when a freak fire burnt your work and they STILL gave you a D. My kiddos will never have a home made birthday cake. Fancy dress will always be store brought. And when a button is needed to be sewn on? My lovely Mother is always on hand with her oversized Cath Kidston sewing basket.

But what I can offer are other equally brilliant things such as the lack of shame that means I am the loudest Mum in singalong Frozen, reading stories to them in various accents (my scouse is excellent!) and general just being a total tit so it makes them laugh. So crap at crafts I may be...but I'm not so bad in other areas.

Now I must get back to my Pinteresting handsome men with no shirts on. It's not like there is a full on huge Easter bonnet parade in a few weeks is there???...Oh f*ck.
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