28.6.15

Haters Gonna Hate! 7 Ways To Deal With Online Trolls!

This weekend one of my posts popped up on an online women's magazine in Australia. As per usual I was a cross between excited and a little bit scared. Was this post going to go down well? Or get slated by strangers. And sure enough three comments in someone said it was "sh*t". My stomach felt a little knotted but I reminded myself of a mantra I decided many months ago that I should apply to my writing life 'Never. Look. At. Comments'.

As a blogger sometimes your writing may get picked up by other sites. It may be Mumsnet Blog of the Day, or Netmums Blog of the Week. You may pop up on The Huffington Post or some random other place that loved your work so much they want to show it off. It could get retweeted by someone with a lot of followers or may just get stumbled upon by a whole new audience. This is an AMAZING feeling. But I have learnt that it is a double edged sword. As it appears some online commenter's? Are d*cks. And brutal ones at that.

how to deal with online trolls

At the bottom of this post I have listed the various blogs of mine that I have received a vast amount of abuse on. I have been called everything from a ho to a bad mother, my children have been called ugly to spoilt, my husband has been called weak and been encouraged to leave me. I am evidently stupid, unstable and should never have been allowed to have kids. Some of the AWFUL crimes I have committed to get such comments have been: I made a spelling mistake in one post (evil woman), I moaned a bit about my husband buying world cup stickers (I should be put in jail!) and I have confessed that my children have tantrums (SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW).

The sad thing is I have kinda accepted now that this is part of the job. Whenever I press publish there is a small fear that some short of sh*t will be thrown my way. That I may wake up to abuse all over my blog, or on my Facebook page. And when I see that other bloggers have got abuse and they are shocked and hurt. That makes me sad too. It makes me want to shout "don't give up", "don't stop". So here are a few ways to help you if you find yourself in a position of receiving negative comments online.

HOORAY! I'm in Australia! Oh somebody thought it was sh*t.

Have A Little Cry
Having a little cry is OK. I am all for crying. Have a good moan to your other half. Shout a bit about it. And get it out of your system. All the time ensuring that your phone is many miles away from your hand as that may result in...

Getting Aggressive Online
I may have once got into a very heated argument with a lady on a popular parenting site's Facebook page who I think I probably ended up calling a knob. Whilst this feels very good for 30 seconds it then dawns on you that this is the reaction they want. Oh and for gods sake don't do it tipsy!

Delete and Block
I think if your blog has gone on another site you are kind of fair game for comments and you cannot really win that battle as it's not your space. But if someone is tweeting you, or leaving abuse on your blog, or Facebook page you are well within your rights to delete those arses and block them. I may in my more immature moments send a really nice message such as 'Thanks for your AMAZING comments ;) x'' and then do it. As I imagine that makes them really angry. And they can't reply! I am a genius.

Look At The Positives
As parenting bloggers I feel we provide a much needed service, for free. We are writing content that Mothers and Fathers across the globe can tap into at any point of the day. Maybe they need a smile on a terrible night feed. Or a quick and easy recipe they can do with the kids. So focus on that rather than the two or three people who are calling you a loser. They probably smell. Yeah I went there.

Suck It Up And Move On
You could give up. You could stop altogether but? I rather you didn't. I would rather you maybe take a small break but then think of the positives of your space and be fuelled to write more. It's hard. And I have lay in bed at night sometimes thinking "I really am a bad Mum as random Dad's in America say I am". But I'm not.

And My Mantra...DO NOT READ COMMENTS!
On your own blog, comments are on the whole massively positive. On other sites? Not so much. So now? I don't read them. I just don't bother. I would rather be blissfully unaware that someone thinks I am an awful human being. I remove myself. Sometimes it is like a car crash. You want to look. It is so tempting. But don't. Or if you do have the strength, focus on the positives as they will always outweigh the bad.

Shake It Off
And in the words of Swifty you have to 'Shake It Off'. Imagine the amount of abuse that I have had v the amount of abuse the Kardashians have? And I am sure that they are sitting on their trillions of dollars not giving an actual sh*t.

Mail Online readers thought my kids were spoilt. And theirs? Didn't have tantrums. Yeah right.

Now behold my most abused posts. See the terrible crimes I have committed! Watch with horror at how horrible I am! Gasp with how really?...Well they are fairly inoffensive. And ALWAYS remember people are cray. And you just can't reason with madness:

Daddy Day Care - Fathers from America found the post and trolled my blog. Tweeting me abuse whilst deleting the evidence as they went. Lovely.
My Dirty Mummy Secrets - The anger from this post was so bad I had to write a statement for the site it featured on to stop it. I cried for about three days solid.
12 Signs You Are Going Out Out - I made a spelling mistake. Which meant I was 'stupid' and it must be 'awful' to be my friend. I think this post across the world has been seen by nearly a million people. Yet? I remember that ruddy spelling mistake.
World Cup Sticker Widow - My husband was encouraged to ditch me as I was a 'ho'.
10 Signs You Are The Owner Of A Toddler Girl - I didn't deserve children as I said I 'owned' my daughter.
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